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Most people think that confidence is about judging yourself and thinking you're good. But I've learned that the real secret to confidence is not judging yourself at all.View full article →
Everything is hard before it is easy. Skill sets take time and practice to develop. When I first played basketball, I was nowhere as good as I am now. Mastery takes time, repetition and failure. Here are my favorite mindsets for playing the game of love. Note that just using one at a time will greatly help your results.View full article →
Confidence is one of the keys to attracting women, but it is often difficult parts of game to attain. While one can learn to discuss mastery topics in a day (which we teach on bootcamps), confidence is something that is absorbed over a certain amount of time. For someone who has never had sex, it might seem daunting to begin a conversation, get a girl interested, get her to come out on a date or handle the pull so that you can get her home and have sex. Once we first begin to have sex with a number of partners, we realize that it is not difficult: our confidence in our abilities has risen.View full article →
This might be controversial, but I’m going to say it anyway: Lack of confidence is like a disease. It’s like a mental illness.
I don’t mean that it affects your brain chemistry the same was as depression or schizophrenia, or that there’s a genetic component to it, or that you need lots of expensive medication. But I DO mean that it can be as debilitating as a mental illness, and that there isn’t one simple cure.
So if you lack 100% confidence with women, or you know someone who does, read on, because we have six “confidence hacks” coming from one of the inner game masters himself, Derek Cajun.View full article →
There’s a story Winston Churchill used to tell that explained how he saw the world. Sir Winston wasn’t much of a dater, but what he said has everything to do with Love Systems:
Two frogs fell into a milk pail. They sank to the bottom, and the walls were too high to climb out. One frog kicked himself back up, swam to the top of the milk, gulped a few mouthfuls of air, then fell back to the bottom. Every time. The other frog saw the futility in this and gave up. He drowned. The first frog saw that giving up meant failure and knew that whatever he did – even if it failed spectacularly – would be no worse than not trying at all. So he kept kicking. He refused to drown. A few hours later all of his kicking had churned up a lump of butter that floated on top of the milk. The frog climbed onto this and jumped to safety.
True story? Probably not. But a good metaphor for Love Systems? Absolutely.View full article →
We have a special guest post for today's article by star Love Systems instructor Chris Shepherd (aka Tenmagnet). Chris is our longest-serving instructor, and specializes in inner game, social skills, and helping guys get into long term relationships. Today is just some of what he's learned over the years about that crucial attraction switch: confidence.View full article →
First, some definitions: Inner Game refers to your beliefs and ideas about yourself, women, and the world around you. A man who has solid inner game knows that women are interested in him and that women like and want sex. He doesn’t put women on a pedestal because they’re women, nor does he res.....View full article →
Many of us that have sought out the Love Systems community may have had a problem with our inner game at some point or another. In reality if you have been having any kind of 'people troubles', then it might be attributed to your inner game. What is Inner Game? This is a very good question...View full article →
You don't need to look like an athlete or a model to attract women. There are a lot of ugly men with attractive girlfriends, and they're not rich or famous either. My friend Sam from college is a perfect example. He's short and pasty, he has a huge nose and big ears, and everywhere we went, wome.....View full article →
First rule of dating: No Woman is out of your league. If you act to a woman like she’s out of your league, she’ll believe you.
A beautiful woman doesn’t have time to get to know every man who is interested in her. So she’ll rely subconsciously on shortcuts. This is why personality traits like confidence are so important. She knows from experience that confident men often have a lot of good things going for them. They are often interesting, exciting men to spend time with.
In contrast, insecure men or men who kiss up them are often not that interesting in most women’s experience. So if you act like one of those guys, she will think you’re one of those guys, and she won’t give you a chance to prove her wrong.
So how do you show a woman that you’re confident and on her level?View full article →