October 10, 2018


Club Game Insight #1 - Know Thy Enemy

In NYC there are really 3 different venues to go. The first is bars, these come in various flavors (dive, sports, theme, etc), the second is Lounges, these are kind of a hybrid bar / club with a lot of couches. These don’t really differentiate that much except by the quality of the crowd (which, in turn, determines how hard it is to get in). Then we have clubs, clubs (at least in NYC and Miami) come in all different shapes, colors (i don’t know I felt that sounded good lol) and sizes. Keying in on the types of girls you want will, in turn, key you in on the types of clubs you want go to. 

One of the most important things to understand when clubbing is there are a few factors that will affect your clubbing experience. The most important of these is the type of music. The music will determine the crowd. A club that plays underground hip hop is not gonna have the same people in it as a club that plays house music and does afterhours. Also since the music determines the people it will also determine the drugs. In my experience drug use is rampant in clubs. In bars you might have people drinking and doing blow, in clubs you will have people doing everything from smoking weed (in the club) to overdosing on ghb (again in the club and a pretty scary sight, even worse is it is so common place that I am desensitized to it. It’s almost like seeing a homeless person and his asking for money, I am not the least bit phased. I guess growing up in NYC does that to you but I digress).

The second factor that will affect the experience is the size of the club. I have rarely seen mega clubs (I am talking between 500 - 3000 people in the venue at the same time) that play anything other then house music (there were a couple that played hip hop but those got shutdown due to violence... shocker). Webster hall in NYC is an exception to this as it has different rooms with different types of music.

The next factor is the location. Again I am not sure how this all holds up outside of NYC or Miami (the music thing brings the crowd is def true from Vegas to la to New Orleans but I am talking about the other factors). Location is a real big deal because some areas are not as nice as other areas. For example places in downtown Miami are downright scary. Southbeach on the other hand is a totally different story with a different type of crowd. So make sure you have it figured out because logistics are a huge component.

What are some of the clubs and the girls we are going to find there? The first is the hip hop club. The types of girls you are going to find depend on whether it is underground hip hop (think ryde or die bitches for anyone familiar with Jay Z), or commercial hip hop (think white kids who want to dance to hip hop. The latter will also bring Indian kids who think they are gangsta and wannabe white boys who are not tough enough to roll in the real hip hop clubs but are tough enough to dominate the all white club). If there are fights people will get stabbed or shot. This is actually pretty common (think Plexico Burress in Latin Quarters). There is also an infusion of Latin kids in the underground ones because a lot of them play regatone (sp but I don’t care enough to look up the correct spelling, the music is hideous) / salsa / meringue / bachetta / samba / insert Latin music style here.

The next one is your celebrity club. These are places where even buying bottles are not getting you in. You simply have to be on the list. A good example in NYC would be Bungalow 8 or Tenjune when it first opened or now Butter (Puffys club) on Monday nights. Buying bottles does not work simply because they don’t need your money at the expense of diluting the purity of the crowd. These places you are def going to need HOT girls, to know someone, or possibly be a celebrity. What you are going to find in here is a lot of models, a - b list celebrities (think Nicole Richie, and Eli Manning) and a lot of people doing high quality blow.

You have implicit value just being able to get in. Most people who manage to get in are probably not approaching and it is very social circlish. The clubs also have a very short lifespan (Bungalow 8 being the notable exception). They start as super elite clubs and then become A list after a few months regular people can begin to get in by buying 5 bottles +. This is a result of a new super elite place opening and the club losing its star revenue and thus being forced to become less choosey. Generally NYC, Miami, Vegas (and I am sure LA I just don’t have a lot of club experience there) each have the "one party" to be at it for the night and it is at a different club each night. In NYC Monday's is butter, Tuesday's is Marquee, Wed is 1oak, etc. This is a cycle that almost continually repeats as old clubs fall and new clubs are born. You will find a lot of models and fashionitas. Expect them to screen you on such things as where your Hamptons house is, what kind of car do you drive, etc. It is very status and money based. It is also fairly easy to game because guys have none of it. They rely on coke, money and status (possibly in that order, kidding kidding).

Our final stop (before this gets out of control) is our house music club. These come in various flavors (from grimy dark afterhours hole in the wall, one notable NYC party is unemployment Mondays. This is a party that goes that from 6 am Monday morning - 5 pm Monday afternoon and is for all the strippers, drug dealers, bouncers, dj's, other industry people along with people who have done so much crystal meth they are way too tweaked to go home. People in this club = scary. Club kids are like vampires, they fear the light). Another type would be your more normal party at a place like Pacha or mansion (think space in Miami). 

These types of parties are the parties I like. Generally, the way I would do it when I was more into it was to go to sleep Saturday night, wake up Sunday at 7 am, eat a bowl of pasta and get to the club at 8 am. We would party and dance from 8 am - 5 pm and then either go to an afterparty or just go home. What are the type of people in these clubs? Really jacked Guido juiceheads. Check out getoffourisland.com. What kind of girls are there? Think slutty stripper club girls. Think www.napkinnights.com or www.pachanyc.com

The game here is difficult at best. It is loud, the girls don’t want to meet people and it is based on social circle and status in the scene (can you get them into VIP, do you know the door guy, etc). The drug use is out of control and this very greatly affects girl’s states. A girl on ghb will be really horny and you can probably nail her in the stall but a girl on meth will be super paranoid and if you are qualifying her too hard she might bug out. I watched Mystery at Cameo (the old Crobar in Miami) a couple years back before the show. He was unable to make anything happen and left the venue. It is HARD in these places man. Guys are super aggressive and the girls are super socialized. One day I will write up an article on juiceheads. When Sinn was staying with me for a month he said he has never seen anything like how aggressive the tactics (as far as physical dominance) Guidos use anywhere else in the country or outside of it. Def glitch game at it’s finest.

By figuring out the kind of girl you want you can figure out the clubs you are going to have to deal with and the specific nuances / logistics about them. Next month we will talk about some more general club insights but as we get further in the series I will begin to focus on the house music afterhours scene because that is where i have the most experience and the girls are the hottest.

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