October 08, 2018


The Secretary Opener

I sat down with Brad P and The Don for the Interview Series on “Taking Chances“.

We talked about why it’s important to take chances, with a lot of specific reasons. We also gave lots of examples of ways and places we take chances. I briefly introduced “The secretary opener”, more as a genre than as a specific example, but I’ve had enough emails about it that I’ll throw it out there now.

When reading this, keep the following points in mind:

1) It’s not magical. It doesn’t get you much further than any other opener. It’s just fun and knocks some people off their guard.
2) It must be delivered in a straight face. Ideally in an understated delivery.
3) You start with the usual opinion opener stuff to get their attention…the stuff that’s covered in Chapter 5 of Magic Bullets and available for free download here Get the Magic Bullets Free Sample.


“So heres’ the thing. I’ve been fucking my secretary for the past couple months and she wants a raise. [pause] Now, I don’t mind that, I’m the one who taught her that you have to give head to get ahead, but she wants her raise now, and her performance review isn’t for another 4 months. What do I do? How long should she have to put out before she gets a raise?”

[At this point, they’re probably curious if you’re serious or not. This is where you keep upping the ante, with]

* Would your answer change if I told you she was underage?
* Would your answer change if I told you she was my sister?
* And so on

Eventually they get that it’s a joke. This is why you congratulate them on keeping up with you and having a sense of humor. Then you can say your secretary is really a fat 40 year old man called Bubba. Often, they’ll ask what you do, and, if so, you’re already in the attraction phase.

This is a very advanced opener, and serves no purpose unless you already have very strong game. Its primary purpose to keep me from getting bored running the same openers again and again.

This sort of ridiculous-humorous-possible low value opener was introduced into version 1.5 of Magic Bullets.

DISCLAIMER: There are no secretaries at Love Systems and no one is having sex with anyone in the office (as far as I know). It’s a relatively normal office environment apart from the freezer full of vodka.

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