January 13, 2010


The 7 Golden Rules of Being a Wingman

Read the original Men's Fitness article here

Winging is your chance to interact with women in a no-lose setting.

Attractive women rarely fly solo—or date men who do. Having a solid wingman by your side can mean the difference between the two of you sharing the night with a bevy of chicks or a basket of chicken wings.

However, playing Goose to your buddy’s Maverick is about more than telling every woman he meets the highly exaggerated story about how he once rescued a nun from a burning building. (Because the building wasn’t actually on fire. And she wasn’t actually a nun. Though she did have a habit.) It’s also your job to entertain her friends while keeping your eyes peeled for potential rivals, whose wings might need to be clipped with a swift “Alpha Mike Foxtrot.” (Look it up.)

Winging can also do wonders for your own confidence: It’s an opportunity to interact with women in a nothing-to-lose setting. Soar in your role, and you’ll gain a loyal wingman in return.

Consider this your field-tested guide to being the ultimate wingman, forged from more than 2,000 nights at bars and clubs teaching men how to attract beautiful women. Abide by its rules the next time you’re out with your friends, and you’ll be armed and ready for any approach.

Wingman Basics: First, Do No Harm

Rule No. 1: He who approaches, chooses

It takes balls (and skill) to go over to a group of women, risk being shot down, and start a conversation that goes somewhere. Hence the essential rule: Whoever makes first contact becomes the primary pilot and gets first choice.

Rule No. 2: Maverick is always right

Women learn a lot from how you and your buddies treat each other. Act like your friends are the coolest people in the world, and women are more likely to agree. Blowing off your friend for a woman you’ve known for 10 minutes just tells her you’re desperate.

Rule No. 3: Respect the ratios

Your friend is talking to three women. You join. One of the friends seems to like you, and now you want to take her somewhere private, away from the group. Should you? No. If you do, you’ve left your buddy with the woman he wants—and her friend. In other words, you’ve left him needing a wingman. Wasn’t that your job? (However, if it’s just two guys and two girls, leave with the other woman if you can. We call that a win-win.)

Rule No. 4: Say what your friend can’t

Wait until your buddy goes to the bathroom to talk about his best qualities. For bonus points, don’t talk directly to the woman he’s interested in. Tell one of her friends instead, and wait for her to repeat it.

Rule No. 5: Do what your friend can’t

If your buddy is too direct with his girl, it might turn her off. But you can suggest one last drink to enjoy the view from his amazing rooftop. Or, if you know she drove there, explain an “emergency” to your friend and why you have to go, and ask his girl if she’d mind driving him home, since you were his ride.

Rule No. 6: Act like the game Is over

Act like your friend and the woman he’s talking to are a couple. Talk about them as a unit. You’ll be amazed by the effect. It’s a technique called “framing”: Women are more affected by subcommunications than by what’s actually being said.

Rule No. 7: Communicate

Women talk in private. Men don’t. Text instead. That way you can discretely call any necessary audible, like, “Are you sure you’re not beer-goggling?” or, “Don’t tell the nun-in-the- burning-building story—I already did.”

Nick Savoy
Nick Savoy


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