January 11, 2016

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Getting Started In Day Game: How To Be Attractive To Women

One of the biggest questions and struggles guys have is how to appear attractive. What traits and characteristics make up an attractive guy and how are these communicated in the daytime?

I'll list 3 attractive traits you want to communicate in the daytime. This is not an exhaustive list, but the 3 points below are important and will get you started on your journey to meeting beautiful women in the daytime.

1. Appearance

Luckily for guys, your physical looks matter much less to woman than they do the other way around. However, taking care of your presentation does very much make a difference.

Your appearance communicates a lot to the women and people around you. Your look tells a story. It gives people an indication into what kind of guy you are.

Beautiful women are everywhere, so you want to look good whenever you are out and about, as opposed to not caring at all and dressing badly. Not only does this communicate good things to women, the way you look can feed into your own self-confidence. If you’re a guy who takes care of yourself and makes sure you look good whenever you’re out, then you’ll feel better about yourself too.

When it comes to your appearance, think about what kind of identity you want to convey to women and dress in a way congruent with that identity. Are you an older more sophisticated guy, more of a rocker, surfer, or other archetype? Dress within that niche and convey your identity through the clothing you wear.

Fashion advice could take several articles all on it’s own but I recommend you start looking at celebrities and fashion blogs within the identity you want to convey and assess their looks. A good website to get you started that I personally like a lot is www.fashionbeans.com. If there’s one rule to stick to above all else though when it comes to your fashion, its this…make sure the clothing fits! Fit is the key. You don’t need to spend thousands on an outfit, you can spend within a budget and if you get clothing that fits, you’ll look great regardless!

2. Confidence

This is a big one. Every guy knows he needs to be confident and every woman is looking for a confident guy, but what makes up confidence?

Confidence ultimately comes from within. If you have a healthy self-concept then you will naturally act confident as a result. Guys can and do draw confidence from external means, be it looks, money, etc. Time and time again though, I see these guys at some point show cracks in their confidence. What happens if you suffer a financial disaster, or an injury that affects your physique, or natural ageing takes it’s toll. In these circumstances, I begin to see the questions along the lines of “I used to be xyz and good with women, now I suck.”

In truth, you don’t just suddenly start to suck, if those guys drew their confidence from within they would continue to do well even during hard times or as they age.

So what is the key to that core confidence, that unshakable confidence that always stays with you? This is a huge topic and could be an entire book on itself but here are three ways to begin building confidence:

    • True acceptance / Non Judgment Of Yourself

      You must stop comparing yourself to outside variables; other guys, magazines, society expectations, etc. When we do this, we’re judging ourselves and comparing ourselves to others. This isn’t healthy and won’t lead to good inner confidence. Instead, accept yourself just as you are, with no judgments. Like yourself for all your good points but equally accept and like yourself for your flaws too. This doesn’t mean that you don’t strive to get better and improve yourself. However, you’re not judging yourself and feeling bad about this, you’re accepting yourself for who you are and this breeds good inner confidence.

    • Discover Reasons To Love Yourself

      To help you find reasons to love yourself, make a list of 10 things that you really like about yourself. Try not to make them external things, but more value driven. For example, don’t say “I’m in shape” but instead “I have the dedication to go after a goal”. This is a much healthier way to draw confidence and can’t disappear if your actual looks fade.

    • Respect Yourself

      Treat your mind and body the right way and confidence will come from this. Most people are going through life on auto-pilot. Instead, become a man who is living a purposeful life. Make sure you are doing something that gets you out of bed in the morning. That doesn’t necessarily have to be your career, but there should be something you’re really passionate about. Respect your mind and body by looking after it. Don’t just drone out watching TV every day. Push yourself, be the guy who learns new things, tries to better himself and takes care of his mental and physical health.

All of these will give you a great foundation for building solid core confidence that can’t be shaken even during hard times. It’s this kind of confidence that women find very attractive.

3. Live A Passionate Full Life

As I mentioned previously, a lot of people live their lives on autopilot. As a result, there is not always a lot that causes a guy to get excited about and if he isn’t excited, how can he expect a woman to buy into that too and get excited about him.

You want to live a life of passion. Whether it’s a career you do, a hobby you have or a general ethos and attitude to life, you should have something about you that gets you going.

You want to aim to be living an awesome life, just the way you want it. If your life is awesome, exciting and you’re passionate about it then women will get drawn into that too and find you very attractive.

Start figuring out what that is if you haven’t got that passion right now and if you have then highlight that and make it a feature. Become excited and live your life this way. When you’re passionate and excited about your life, your communications will come across as one of passion and excitement and as a result you’ll find yourself very naturally attractive to women.

If you take care of the three principles above, you’ll be a very attractive guy that women want to meet and be around. They’re not all quick fixes but begin working on them now and over time you’ll find your attractiveness rising. Check out the next article in the series to learn how to actually approach women in the daytime successfully and strike up a conversation.


Vox LS
Vox LS

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