The most important thing to realize is that you can control much of what you need to in order to become an attractive man. Your confidence can be built over a long period of successful interactions or through introspection of your previous accomplishments. Your sense of humor can be developed through practice. Fashion sense can be studied and cultivated. You can talk to everyone by choice. You do not need to be rich in order to do any of these things.
Dates are another aspect of the game where players spend too much money. The girl sometimes expects you to pay… but only if you don’t change her expectation. Some girls hate the fancy dinners because they see them as too formal. Furthermore, movies don’t allow for conversation. Instead of these clichéd and relatively pricey options, I get girls to invite me over to their houses or rooftops. Sometimes “going out” is inevitable in which case I try to make sure she knows that it’s just a casual tea. I’ve had girls pay for dinner and drinks for me, and I’ve even had girls bring me food, desert, and candy. Sometimes, all you have to do is ask the right way.
Buying a girl a drink is another silly cliché that I avoid completely. Every guy will try to buy her a drink to distinguish himself from the pack, but it will not always help you. I’ve definitely lost women based on the fact that I didn’t buy them a drink or I didn’t pay for dinner, but I have to do what’s in my own interest. There is no law or contract in place that says that after you pay for something that costs $20 or more that she has to sleep with you. “Thanks for the drink. We have to go to the bathroom now.” “I had a great evening. Thanks for dinner. See you later.” While you are on a budget, don’t let this happen to you. There is no reason to waste $40 dollars on a stranger you might never see again.
One might then think, “If only I had a nice car or house. I’d have so many options.” While wealth is attractive to certain women, this kind of thinking is a result of a lack of confidence in oneself. There is no rational reason why you need to have more than the average level of wealth to attract women because attraction is a biological process and money is artificial. Therefore, money cannot be necessary for attraction and mating. I have plenty of rich friends that do well for themselves in the dating arena. I also have rich friends that use their money as a crutch as misuse their hard-earned resources in an attempt to woo a woman. Sometimes the woman becomes focused on the money and forgets the man involved is interested. She begins to withhold sex as she tries to milk him for what he is worth. After expensive dinners and gifts, she loses interest and leaves the man in utter frustration.
Spending money on a woman that you want to sleep with is dishonest to a certain degree. You do not want to spend that money on her. You would rather sleep with her. We think of the money as a bribe or flattery, but it can be a very poor investment on your part especially when you have very little money to spare. Think about it. If she actually likes you, she’ll accept the fact that you don’t have money then. She’s likely attracted to your ambition anyway. Ambition can be just as attractive as money is not more so. Ambition is a part of the man. Money is separate. If you attract her with your ambition, she will likely stay with you for as long as you like (given you keep that ambition.)
Do not follow the herd mentality and believe that everything boils down to the superficial. I have seen old men, ugly men, short men, and poor men who hadn’t been successful succeed with desirable women right in front of my eyes. Sometimes, the transformation took three days. Sometimes it took a few weeks or months. Most of my students were not incredibly rich, but they all met beautiful women and I saw it for myself.
If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of. – Bruce Lee
The next aspect of your budget is your time. Your time in this world is limited. You must make the most of it. I will be teaching you techniques that are not time-intensive. Taking a girl home with you the night you meet her is a very efficient way of sleeping with her relative to exchanging numbers and going for a date. (I will teach you how to do both successfully, but time expense should be a consideration in everything you do.)
One day you will die. There is no escaping this fact. This is not a bad fact. It simply lets you make decisions that let you maximize your life’s potential. Should you sit at home and watch TV or should you go out with your friends? Should you work to make an extra buck when you can or should you go to the gym? The answers to these questions must come from inside based on what you desire to accomplish the most. You have only one life to do what you want on this earth. I implore you to do what makes you happy while you are here.
Opportunity cost is the idea that everything you do has a separate forgone cost. Everything we do costs us something. Your goal should be to be as efficient as possible while you achieve the goals you want.
Randy Pausch was a Carnegie Mellon professor diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer who famously gave “The Last Lecture:” a speech about achieving childhood goals, but he also has a more technical, pragmatic speech on time management where he explains that everyone is in his position. Everyone knows their time is limited, but no one acts like it. He was forced to face his mortality before other people, and he did so beautifully. The main concept that he presents is that the idea of time management should be to maximize the time you have with the people you love and maximize the time you have doing the things you love to do. I love writing films and TV. I came out to Hollywood to write professionally. When I came, I worked on movies during the week to make money and wrote on the weekends. I also made time for basketball which I love to watch and play. If things are important to you, you must invest time into them. I really wanted to meet more women, so I made time for it.
You should keep a schedule and stick to it. I like Google Calendar and there are many other calendar apps that you can use. I suggest prioritizing gym time, time for a healthy eating schedule, and some time for friends. This ensures for a healthy balance of work and lifestyle. You shouldn’t just be focused on one thing, because then you will likely neglect a different part of your life that is just as important. You need leisure time to relieve your stress and keep a good attitude as you accomplish your goals.
Use apps like Rescue Time and Clear Focus while you are working to eliminate distractions. This will help you if you have an office job that requires you to work at a computer. For me, it helps when I write films. Efficiency will put you in the good graces of your boss and will help you get promoted. More money for the same time spent means that you are working smarter. If you are a student, efficiency will let you use less time to finish the same amount of work while you still have time for fun.
When you have time to meet women, utilize the time to the fullest. Do not hesitate. The more time you spend approaching and interacting with women, the less time you waste. If a girl seems uninterested, do not get down on yourself. Stay until she excuses herself or says, “It was nice to meet you.” Don’t feel bad about yourself. Go on to the next one. Do not spend a second feeling bad about yourself. There are so many attractive women out there that if you keep putting yourself out there, there is no way you can fail, unless you quit.
When I was first gaining experience in dating, I had no mentors with me. I was close to quitting before completing my study on more than one occasion. I kept asking myself, “Is this worth my time?” If I had quit, it would have all been a waste, but since I persevered, I achieved my goals and made everything worth my time.
When you begin to take your time expenditure into account, you will be able to utilize your time to the fullest.