December 04, 2013

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10 Ways to Know It’s Time to Let Her Go - Men's Fitness

In helping men improve their chances with women in bars, clubs, and coffee shops, dating expert Nick Savoy has seen a lot of pickups. He's also gotten pretty good at telling very early on which women are keepers—and who’s just going to be trouble.

Read the original Men's Fitness article here.

1. She treats you like a therapist

She calls you when she’s sad; she shares secrets; she compliments you all the time; she says you’d be a great boyfriend. But if you make a move, she’ll say she doesn’t want to ruin the friendship.

Fixable? Possibly. Be supportive, relate to her emotions, but don’t get into details. Tell her you have confidence in her and that she will find the right answer for her. Then change the subject.

2. She doesn’t have close female friends

This one is really bad. She’s using her sexuality to make friends, and other women don’t see anything valuable in her. She might say that she doesn’t get along with women (which is weird) or that other women are threatened by her (sure, some are, but I’ve dated top actresses and Playboy models, and they had plenty of female friends).

Fixable? No. Even if she makes female friends, that only treats the symptom, not the cause. Run.

3. She’s a gold digger

I don’t think it’s any more superficial for a woman to be attracted to the size of a man’s wallet than it is for a man to be attracted to the size of a woman’s chest. But when that’s essentially the only thing she’s after, she’s a gold digger.

Fixable? Maybe–it depends if you’ve misjudged her. Don’t take her to expensive places and see if she sticks around. Whether she does or doesn’t, problem solved.

4. She’s a helpless princess

She can’t solve any problem herself, and can’t meet up with you without you giving her step-by-step directions, or, ideally, picking her up yourself. When she has a problem, she’s never interested in advice; she’s only interested in handing it off to you.

Fixable? No. Being a helpless princess is only a symptom. The real problem is that she’s selfish, needy, manipulative, entitled, and lazy. That’s toxic; stay away.

5. She’s your text buddy

She’ll chat with you all day by text message. She’ll say she misses hearing from you when you’re busy. But every time you suggest meeting up, she goes silent.

Fixable? Yes, if you can get her more attracted to you. This is hard to do in text, but if you know what you’re doing, it’s possible. If not, go silent for a few months and then re-engage with “I just met your twin!”

6. She’s insanely jealous

Does she go through your phone or e-mail without your permission? Does she quiz you on where you’ve been and who you’re with? Does she make negative comments about your female friends?

Fixable? Maybe. She might not know any better. Call out her behavior in a neutral way (e.g., “I think we might have different expectations here.”). But if it comes from a place of insecurity and entitlement, then she’ll never really change.

7. You’re her Ken doll

She’s only available when there's some networking event going on or there’s somewhere where she wants to see and be seen. But once you guys arrive, she spends half the time talking to other people.

Fixable? It might not matter. If there are other interesting women at these events, make her your wingwoman. If there aren’t, consistently decline her invitations and suggest other plans. She’ll have no choice but to play ball or disappear.

8. She’s a cheater

The best way to predict whether a woman is going to cheat is whether she’s cheated before. It seems obvious, but few men pay attention. Most guys focus on where their girlfriend is and who she’s with, which aren’t even the second most important factors.

Fixable? Not really. If you’re a betting man, you can take a chance that she’s changed. Sometimes you’ll be right. But I’m a betting man too–and I’d take the other side of that bet 10 times out of 10.

9. She brings you down

There’s always something wrong. If she can’t complain about anything in her life, she’ll tell you about something awful that happened to her friend.

Fixable? If she’s actually depressed, encourage her to get treatment, like you would any sick person. Otherwise, no. Our research has shown that you are very much the product of the five people who you spend the most time with. Why would you want to add so much negativity to that mix?

10. She’s a drama queen

There’s no man in the world who doesn’t understand exactly what another man means when he says, “She’s crazy.” Usually, it means she’s a drama queen. She can’t exist without attention, and she’s unpredictable and seems to love conflict. She acts like she’s the main character of a movie.

Fixable? No. Some women are just like this. A lot of men don’t seem to mind. Let one of those guys be with her instead.


Nick Savoy
Nick Savoy

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