December 21, 2015


Alone for the holidays? Try this!

If you’re going to be single and alone for the holidays, read on. (If you’re not going to be alone, you can skip the next few paragraphs to the end where there’s a 95% off invitation.)

OK so – I won’t sugar coat this. This is probably THE hardest time of the year to be alone. It’s not just because the holiday season celebrates people being together, and it’s not just because most of your friends and contacts will disappear into their little cocoons, with you on the outside.

It’s also that your normal routine gets disrupted. Things that keep you busy and your mind occupied – work, school, clubs, anything you do regularly – shut down. All of this gives lonely or frustrated thoughts more room to bounce around in your head.

Even worse, if you live in the Northern Hemisphere the days are much shorter and colder, and it’s dark and quiet everywhere.

I could go on, but if you’re in the middle of this situation, you don’t need to hear it. You need me to answer the much more important question:

So, what are we going to do about it?

At Love Systems, we’re big believers of turning disadvantages into opportunities. We’ve helped men who feel too short, too old, too poor, too ugly – and turn these into advantages. (Read the classic post from Love Systems instructor Mark V – who only has one arm, incidentally – on How Having a Disability HELPS My Game).

So, you’re alone over the holidays and there’s not as much going on to distract you. How can we use this to our ADVANTAGE? Not just make the best of a bad situation, but actually turn this around…

  1. Use the Valentine’s Day Effect

    There aren’t always a ton of single women out on Valentine’s Day. But the women who are out are often single, usually very single. They’re in a state of mind to meet someone, maybe even to date someone different from their usual type.

    Same thing with the holidays. If anything, it’s even harder to be a woman alone over the holidays than it is to be a man, because the social pressure and effect on their self-worth can be greater.

    So go out, be friendly, and you may be surprised what happens!

  2. Go Online

    The Valentine’s Day Effect applies if anything even more online, but with a twist. There will be a lot of single women this year who won’t want to go out to bars or parties alone because they will feel even worse about themselves. But with all of the extra time on their hands, they will try online dating.

    So if you’ve never put in the time to constructing a great online dating profile or worked with any of the dating apps, this holiday season might be the time to do it. (And yes, there is a bit of work involved to do it right – Derek Cajun’s book, The Gentleman’s Guide to Online Dating, has a ton of great tips to walk you through).

    And by the way, if you own a PC (not Mac) and you live in the U.S., you’re eligible for the new and upgraded Online Dating Genie. That basically has Love Systems software do all the grunt work on the dating sites for you. We do restrict this by area (so we don’t flood these sites) so if it’s not available in your state, I apologize, but know that it’s for a good reason. Learn more about it here.

  3. Take Advantage of the Time Machine

    Have you ever wanted a time machine? Not to go back and fix mistakes in your life, but just to stop time for long enough for you to get something done? I remember when I first started with Love Systems, and came up with a list of things I needed to do to improve myself. Things like taking some clothes in to be altered, pursuing a couple hobbies I was passionate about, reorganizing my house to make it more attractive to women, and reading and studying some dating/pickup material that I’d been putting off.

    Well, if your competition is busy over the holidays and if the rest of the world is busy over the holidays, and you have free time – that’s your time machine!

    One of my mentors once told me to “schedule your priorities and prioritize your schedule”. If you do this, take the process seriously. Treat a day like a work day (or school day) and set a schedule for yourself. I helped one of our long-term mentorship clients do this over the holidays last year, and it wasn’t rocket science. You can do it for yourself. Here’s an example of one of the days’ schedule from last year:

    • 9am – 11am: Go through closet, remove old/useless clothes
    • 11am – 1pm: Work out
    • 1pm – 2pm: Review chapter on “approaching” in Magic Bullets and skim the chapter on “openers” in the Love Systems’ Routines Manual
    • 2pm – 3pm: Break. Clear your head.
    • 3pm – 4pm: Reconnect with people you want in your life who you’ve lost touch with. “Happy Holidays, been a while!” is a great neutral re-initiation.
    • 4pm+: Do three approaches. They can be on the street or at coffee shops or anywhere. Afterwards write down everything you remember from all three convos (or record them) and send to me. Then you’re done for the day!

Obviously, this won’t all apply to you, and we had a multi-day schedule of which this was just one day, but it should give you a starting point.

I hope this helps! The holidays can be a depressing time – but if you feel that way remember that there’s nowhere to go but up, and that we’ve all been there at some point. We’re here to help!

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Nick Savoy
Nick Savoy


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