November 02, 2015


Should you Text or Call her?

Some people think the answer is simple, but it's really not. It depends on the situation, how you met her, how attracted she is to you, how close you are to making plans, and so on.

Love Systems instructor Dan Wildcard was voted the #1 Dating Coach in the world in 2015. He recently responded to question in The Love Systems' Lounge about phone vs. text with this 4-minute audio clip. Normally Lounge stuff is strictly confidential, but Dan agreed to make a "public version" of his response to share with you. (If you get the chance, thank him for this).

Why is this important?

Phone and text game is one of the worst places to screw up. Phone and text game is the place where have the least excuse to screw up.

Let me explain:

If you screw up your opener, big deal. You've lost ten seconds of your life. You can probably even take another shot at her later on that night. On our live training programs, you often see a client approach a woman, make a mistake, the instructor helps him correct that mistake, and then the client approaches the same woman later - with dramatically different results.
BUT...if you spend your night trying to attract and get to know one woman in particular and things are going well and you get her phone number and then you screw it up in the phone and text game stage - that's a different story. In that scenario, you've wasted the entire night. You can undo hours and hours of great work with a bad text or misplaced phone call.

Still -- there is no reason to make phone and text game mistakes

Text game, especially, is the easiest area of game to do well. There are so few variables and so much is under your control.

Let's say you tell me you had a bad approach. That doesn't really mean anything on the surface. I don't know whether it was because of your body language, or your tonality, or your choice of what to say, or a million other factors. And if I asked you to describe all of those factors to me, your description will be limited and biased by your perception and misperceptions and how you communicate with me. Now, I'm a pretty good dating coach, and can usually figure out what was going on, but there are still a lot of variables. Things get complicated very quickly.

In contrast, let's say things died with a woman during the text message stage. Well, you can send me a transcript of your conversation, with time stamps, and I can tell you exactly what you did wrong, what you should have done instead, and why. (In fact, these 'text message analyses' make up a lot of the phone consultations we're doing these days).

Not only that, but it's the easiest to learn. The only variables are what you say and when you say it. Body language doesn't matter. Fashion doesn't matter. Tone doesn't matter. Your looks don't (at this point) matter. Neither does your age, your inherent social skills, or a million other factors. All that matters is what you say and when you say it. Learn those patterns and you'll master text game.

There is - literally - nothing else to it.

So...if you're not already great at phone and text game there is no excuse. Solve this gap in your skillset - like I said, it's by far the easiest part of game to improve. Just like it's much easier to play tic-tac-toe than it is to put on a symphony.

And on that note, here's Dan Wildcard's answer on phone vs. text, one last time. Click the link below:

Take Care,

Nick (Savoy) 

Dan Wildcard
Dan Wildcard


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