May 08, 2009


10 Men and 1 Woman in a Hotel Room

Sex and relationship expert Emily Grace saw a Love Systems bootcamp on the Dr. Phil Show. She’d heard that Love Systems had changed the lives of thousands of men around the world and wanted to see for herself.

Here – in her own words – is the good, the bad, and the ugly:

“Tenmagnet, one of my future ex-husbands...”

10 men and 1 woman in a hotel room. Sounds like the beginning to a porn... But to my surprise and slight displeasure nothing nearly as sordid went on. I was sitting in on a Love Systems bootcamp. For one weekend paying men would sit through 5 hours of instruction per day and then head out to a bar for field work. The instructors were Keys to the VIP winner Cajun and Tenmagnet, one my future ex-husbands. Shhh... he’s not aware of that yet.

As the men started to trickle in they all appeared normal. There were no hunch backs or Star Trek Klingons. On average they were 20’s-30’s, well dressed and sociable. When we shook hands they had a firm grip and looked me in the eyes.  The guys opened up about... what they were looking to get out of the seminar.

Each of their answers was unique. One man had issues with approaching women, another had been in a relationship for his entire adult life, another one was shy and yet another had no problems picking up but was looking to meet a higher quality of women. Typical problems for your typical men.

“I found myself nodding in agreement and wanting to shout out, ‘Yes that’s it – so true!’”

Tenmagnet and Cajun have the ability to instantly make you feel like old friends. There was nothing contemptuous or judgmental about the way they spoke of women. They stated differences between men and women more as facts – not as negative traits to be scoffed at. They realized the differences, pinpointed them and instead of fighting them learned how to deal with them.

They have broken down the basics to female psyche that even I was surprised at. I found myself nodding in agreement and wanting to shout out, “Yes that’s it – so true!” And when Tenmagnet imitated a women’s body language when she bats her eyes at you I nearly broke out in astounded laughter. He had it down – better than even I could do.

It wasn’t about ‘fake confidence’ . . . they gave actual to the point tactics.

I sat with pen poised; there was a ton of information. It wasn’t about “fake confidence until you have it,” and then send you out on your way. There were no rah-rah bums in the air saying just be yourself!! Because for most of us our best is far from good enough. They gave actual to the point tactics on how to approach groups. They taught body language. Such as leaning on a wall or bar is always better than standing.  There is more potential to look awkward when you don’t know what to do with your feet or hands.

They teach you how to approach a group. Open with a simple, fun question, “Hey, my buddy and I were talking about this. What do you think about moustaches?” Most of us have opinions on everything and will love the chance to share them. Keep the conversation to your opener short and then move on to something else. If you’re talking to two women segue into, “You guys look like best friends. How do you know each other?”

Then of course there is the difference between male attraction (pretty much an on/off deal) and female attraction (more like a toaster setting), which answered my age-long question of why men can sleep with stupid women.

Women will test you. All the time.

Women will test you. All the time. For the most part - Ignore it. Stick to your guns. You say you love Chinese food and she says she can’t stand it? Don’t suddenly backtrack and say ‘well, I don’t eat it very often.’ It makes you look weak. And like a pack of wolves women will attack the weakest one.

Women want a MAN. Capital letters. Nice guy syndrome? Lose it. Don’t let anyone walk all over you. According to Love Systems, what turns women on are Strength, Loyalty, Courage and Pre-selection. But as Cajun said, “You don’t have to be an asshole to provide it.”

They don’t just teach you how to pick up but how to keep her after.

If you’re interested in someone particular, treat her like you’ve already slept together. It brings back your comfort level and control. It will also make her wonder why you don’t want anything from her. To most women, that can become quite a challenge.

They don’t just teach you how to pick up but how to keep her after. It made me think of those men in my life that I was so insanely attracted to. They weren’t the best looking ones. They were the ones that knew how to tease, play, call me on my s--t, give and then take away. They were the ones that knew the game and made me feel a tiny bit uncertain. The ones that if we broke up would continue on with their fabulous lives.

I don’t want to be the centre of anyone’s world, and with them I wasn’t.

So it all comes down to whether it’s worth it. Personally, I found it fascinating. But it doesn’t come cheap. I guess you have to ask yourself what those social skills are worth to you.

-Emily Grace

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Nick Savoy
Nick Savoy


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