May 01, 2015

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Creating Intrigue

Are you often confused when it comes to having conversations with women? Do you wonder what the correct formula is for fun, engaging, and exciting conversations?

PictureWhat if I told you there was a way to create intrigue and talk about yourself in an attractive way that will draw women in and make them want to find out more about you. At Love Systems, we often say that there are two aspects that go hand in and hand when meeting women. Those are the product and the sales.

You are the product. That includes what your life looks like, the cool things you do, your personality, and your overall lifestyle. I talk about this in depth in my Lifestyle article here. 
Most people have some sort of attractive lifestyle sorted, and it is the sales aspect that is often what confuse guys the most. That is, how do we SHOW our attractive traits to a woman in the most engaging way possible.

There are many ways to do this and all sorts of conversational techniques that will make you more interesting and engaging to women and people in general. I’m going to share one in particular with you now.
Let's call this technique ‘breadcrumbing’. The idea is to sprinkle through a normal conversation the attractive qualities and engaging aspects of your life. 
Many guys try to show off to women and they end up overwhelming them with stuff that put them into incredibly boring conversations that many other men are already having. This overload of information also often makes a woman feel uncomfortable. 

When you begin to use this technique and breadcrumb things about yourself causally, it will spice up a regular conversation and make it more organic. It is also more comfortable and grounded for the woman you are speaking to. 

Let’s look at a dialogue from a recent client of mine. He’s just introduced himself to a woman he saw and then says:
“I moved here eight months ago to work for a new creative arts company. I’m really from New York. I’m a manager there at my company and I’m really looking forward to meeting my new team here. I’ve been doing that for the past several years back home but I got kind of bored so I decided to move here to try something new. So what do you do?”
It’s easy to see that this guy has quite a lot going for him! He leads a pretty interesting and attractive life.

The problem though is, after JUST meeting a woman, he’s throwing it all out there too soon and overwhelming her.

Often times a women won’t know how to react to this. It’s a barrage of information all at once. Although he is demonstrating attractive things about his life, the way he presents it is not as effective as it could be.

Keep in mind that the opposite could be an issue as well, and that is not giving enough information:
I just finished eating lunch with my new work colleagues. You have a good vibe, what do you do?
Picture
In this example, the conversation makes an attempt to give a compliment and move the conversation forward but is in fact very technical. There is no real information given about the client, and she has no reason to really continue staying engaged in the conversation.

Presented in a slightly different way, both of these guys can easily come across as very interesting and attractive to women and in a way that makes the woman excited to find out more!

The idea of ‘breadcrumbing’ is to sprinkle this stuff throughout conversation. The advantages of this are many.

Firstly, it allows the woman to pick up on the little ‘breadcrumbs’ left through the conversation and find out more as and when she wants. This is more powerful than simply telling her everything about you.

Women like to discover things about a man. It’s more powerful that way and often times she will fill in the blanks you leave, and will have a very attractive image of you in her head as a result. Not only that, it can allow you to strategic lead the conversation onto topics that demonstrate your most attractive qualities and passions in life. 

It allows her to join the conversation and jump in with her own questions, stories, and statements. It creates a very natural and organic flow to the conversation.

Secondly, it allows you to keep the conversation naturally flowing for longer, without dumping it all at once and suddenly finding yourself running out of things to say.

Let’s go back to my client’s dialogue and reconstruct this in a different way, following the basic idea of ‘breadcrumbing’.

He could have said: 
“I was just actually on my way to meet a friend when I saw you. He’s showing me around town as I’m new here. I’m in that phase where everything is so fresh and new after you just move to a new place. What brings you into town today?”
Notice the vast difference between the two?

We’ve stripped out a lot of the detail and left subtle bits in order to keep the conversation going, while easing the girl into conversation with you very organically and comfortably.  This is the point when she will often begin to invest back and make the conversation a two way game.

You leave enough in there for her to pick up on and continue the conversation. Let’s look at just some of the things she could pick up on:
  • Where you’re from
  • Why you moved
  • What you do
  • Why you traveled to a new place 
  • What you are up to with your friend
She won’t always pick up on these ‘breadcrumbs’ in the conversation, but it gives her an easy way to do so and allows for a much more free flowing conversation.

Play around with this in your own conversations and notice the difference it makes to your interactions!

Vox LS
Vox LS

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