I have a lot of experience with gold diggers. I made a lot of money in life before I started Love Systems, and I live in gold digger central (Hollywood, CA). Over the years, I've come up with some unique ways to deal with gold diggers.
But first, what do I actually mean by gold digger? This is going to be controversial and I'll probably get a lot of abuse for this, but I don't think that it's any "worse" for a woman to be attracted to the size of a man's wallet than it is for a man to be attracted to the size of a woman's breasts. There's nothing wrong with valuing that a man can provide for himself and his family. A lot of women also value characteristics that they see as correlated with wealth, e.g., confidence, status, ambition, and so on.
So, when I talk about gold diggers, I don't mean women who think it's cool if the guy they are interested in has money. I am referring to the kind of women who value a man's money more than they value the man himself. Let's jump in.
1. Tough Love: Where are you meeting these women?
I once did a phone consultation with a man who complained that all of the women he was dating seemed to be attracted to him mostly for his money. I asked him where he tended to meet women, and he said hotel bars, matchmakers, and a couple dating sites. I asked which ones, and he referred to a couple of sites specializing in older, successful men and younger women.
Well, OF COURSE he is going to find gold diggers. That's what these sites - and these venues - cater to. There's sand on the beach. There's water in the ocean. And there are gold digging women in fancy hotel bars and "successful man" dating sites. Once you stop meeting women in places that cater to gold diggers, you will meet a lot fewer of them.
2. More Tough Love: Are you telling women to be gold diggers?
What if you don't go to places that cater to gold diggers, but that's who you seem to attract anyway? The problem might be with you, as opposed to the places you go.
Let's say I am really good at basketball. I wear athletic clothes when I go out. When I meet people, I talk about basketball, a lot. It's my identity and I attract women who are really into sports or into athletic guys. If I ask a girl out, it's usually to do something athletic or to go to a game. (None of this is true; it's for an example)
Makes sense, right?
OK, let's flip this around. Let's say instead that I'm really good at business. I wear expensive clothes when I go out. When I meet people, I talk about my boat, and expensive places I've been. If I ask a girl out, it's usually to go shopping or somewhere expensive. Guess what? Being rich is now my identity and I would attract women who are really into rich guys...
...and it's not women's fault. In this example, I haven't given them anything else to possibly be attracted to. If a woman would be interested in me in this scenario, the only possible thing to be interested in is my wealth.
Again, this is just a made-up example and I am exaggerating for effect. But if you tend to attract gold diggers, take a very, very close look at what cues you are giving women. They might simply be responding to how YOU present yourself.
3. Kill the "Stealth" Gold Diggers with Boredom
Obvious gold diggers are obvious. It's the stealth ones you need to watch out for - the women who only value money, but pretend not to be gold diggers.
There's no easy way to detect them. Don't fool yourself. A determined and experienced woman is going to be far better at manipulating you than you will ever be at detecting her manipulation.
The solution instead is to bore her. Or, rather, bore her gold digging side.
You've got money? That's fine. It doesn't get spend on her on the first few dates. There are a lot of great cheap date ideas; spending a lot of money on her too soon is not ineffective, it can even be a turnoff for most non gold-digging women (who don't appreciate being treated as gold diggers).
You don't have to try to hide your money. Just don't spend it on her. Or, rather, don't spend it on her excessively. Of course, you're going to pay for most if not all of the first date, and probably future dates as well. That's just the culture we live in. But that doesn't mean you have to go to the most expensive place in your city and order the most expensive items.
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