May 27, 2015


Why don't women approach you?

If you’ve recently been through a breakup, get the Breakup Survival Guide for Men immediately. It’s not about being “strong” or “tough” – there are certain psychological and chemical processes that go on in a breakup. You need the tools to deal with these before you’ll be able to be at the top of your game. Check it out here.

So why don't women approach men? There are a whole bunch of reasons for this:

  1. Attractive women don’t have to. Many women don’t have time to get to know all the men who have already made the first move, let alone feel it necessary to go meet more.
  2. Approaching is hard! So is putting yourself out there and risking embarrassment and humiliation. For a lot of guys, until they go through a Love Systems bootcamp or the SuperConference, approaching can make you super-nervous and isn’t always successful. Women feel awkwardness and embarrassment more then men, so it’d be even harder for her to approach.
  3. Some women worry that approaching a guy and making the first move will be emasculating for him.
  4. Some women find the idea of making the first move a big turnoff and un-feminine.
  5. Most women are actually really bad at hitting on men. [Trust me on this one. I do consultations for women and wrote a book a while ago, and this is a consistent theme.]

There are a lot of other reasons, but those are the five biggest.

Now…the Twist…

Women DO approach men. Actually, about 75% of courtships are initiated by women. They just do it differently. Here are some examples of how women “approach” men:

  • Eye contact
  • Smile
  • Walking by somewhere where she knows you’ll see her
  • Standing near you so you start a conversation with her
  • Order a drink at the bar when you do
  • Etc.

There are about 20 of these signs that we go over in more depth in our programs, but more important than listing them is to know how to get a woman to give you those signals. In other words, what attracts a woman from afar?

It’s not what you say. She hasn’t talked to you yet.

It’s not even how you say it. Tonality is hugely important, but she can’t hear you yet.

What is it? Three things:

  1. Body Language
  2. Identity
  3. Social Proof

And that’s it. Master those three, and women will be giving you “approach invitations” all the time.

To get started with Body Language, there’s nothing better than the Beyond Words Course.

For the other two - Identity and Social Proof are covered in hour-long audio courses. Get them both, spend a couple hours listening, and you should be good to go tonight. Instant improvement!

Nick Savoy
Nick Savoy


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