When Nathan came to a Love Systems bootcamp last year, he didn't have a lot of experience with women. Former military, good guy; he wanted more options and better options with women than he'd been getting.
Of course, we went to bars and clubs during his bootcamp. It's the best way to approach lots of hot women over and over when you're learning Love Systems and practicing.
(Though if you want to take a bootcamp and don't like clubs, check out Day Game Workshops. Or even Super Camps, that have both day and night game)
But, for the past three months, he hasn't been out to a single bar or nightclub. And he's dating and hooking up with hot women left and right. What's going on? Is he meeting women at coffee shops? Or doing online dating or Tinder? Sure, all of that has its role, but his focus is building a social circle so you meet women "naturally." Here's a taste of what I mean:
10 Rules for Social Circle Mastery
- To break into a new social circle, add value without sucking up. Introduce guys to girls you've met or your female friends (this is a great way to practice having an abundance mentality). Invite people to concerts, parties, or other events if you have a hookup. Don't take any value until you're established within the group. Make your first few interactions short, move on well before your welcome is up, and leave on a high note.
- When you hook up with a girl within a social circle, make sure that neither of you talk about it, or other women will think you won't be discreet. In the friends with benefits audio guide, Braddock and I gave examples of "discretion frames" - the challenge here is to communicate to a woman "I'm not going to talk about this and you shouldn't either" without her feeling like you're devaluing her.
- Waterfall theory: when you hook up with a new girl in a social circle, start at the top (with one of the hottest women). If word gets out, you'll have a much easier time dating another woman in your social circle if you've hooked up with one of the hotter women than one of their less attractive friends.
- You will be perceived as being the product of the five people you spend most of your time with. I'm not saying to be mercenary with your friends or cut off your old friends. It's much better to raise their game rather than cutting them off anyway. That said, look to fill any gaps in your social circle (e.g., the guy who knows everyone, the guy who always has the best hookups to events and parties, a good wingman, the female friend who makes other women feel comfortable, etc.).
- Women especially look to how other people treat you, for cues on what kind of a person you are and what you do or don't have going for you. (This is where social proof and pre-selection come from). They also look to how you treat your friends. You and your friends should always act like each other are the coolest people in the world.
- Put some attractive women you approach into the friend zone. (Do it before they do). Hot women tend to have attractive friends. Think of it like farming. You don't eat everything you harvest - save some seeds to plant for next year. Married women are also great for this - a lot of them miss the excitement of dating, so if they like you, they'll be happy to set you up with their friends and live vicariously through you.
- You are what you do. Where are you investing your time and energy in life? That's how people will see you, and, more importantly, a lens through which you look at the world and interact with it. Track how you spend the next 168 hours (one week). If you're like most of my clients, you'll be amazed.
- General social skills matter (not just social skills for meeting and attracting women). If you're someone who sometimes comes across as awkward or you sometimes find yourself saying or doing the wrong thing, check out the audio guide I did with Nick Hoss on how to be cool.
- Don't practice within your social circle! There's a reason why even a nightclub-hater like my client Nathan went out to clubs a bunch of times after he took his bootcamp. That way, when he started to use Love Systems to attract women connected to his social circle, or women who he would see again, he knew what he was doing and could avoid mistakes.
Social Circle Mastery is covered thoroughly in various posts on The Attraction Forums. Do a search. Or, you can get the whole system on 3 DVDs, complete with expert commentary, as taught by the creator of Social Circle Mastery, Nick Braddock.
Before I sign off, let me turn the floor over to Nathan for a final word. He recently applied to be a Love Systems instructor (he's not ready yet) and emailing back and forth about his candidacy, he explained how his game has evolved:
I don't really hate bars, they just don't fit my lifestyle too much. I do hate clubs I don't like music, crowds, drinking, or being out at 2am. So as soon as my game got good enough that I could meet enough women through day game, I switched to that. Still, even day game is limiting to what you can accomplish that day and what women happen to be out that day. There's a part of the social circle mastery course where Braddock compares picking up women at a club to be like hunting, and social circle mastery is like farming, and that is SO true. Every time farmers and hunters have competed in history, farmers win. So for the last few months I've been focused on social circle game. It takes a bit more work at first, and you don't go from "hi" to "please f--- me" in a couple hours like you do at a club, but over a couple months it pays off much better. I am friends with gorgeous women who would never talk to a guy at a bar or club. I've hooked up with professional models, something I never dreamed of before. There are honestly more women in my life than I have time for, and the beauty of it all is that there will be even more women tomorrow, the day after, and the day after that. It's a naturally-functioning ecosystem; cool, attractive people introduce me to other cool, attractive, people and if I want to join or lead their social circle, I know what to do. I know if I become an instructor I'll have to go back to approaching women at clubs, at least to do demos, and I'll do a great job at that, but what I'd really love to teach is social circle game.
(edited to remove some unnecessary detail; the actual email was 1836 words)
If anything, social circle game is even more valuable and important over the holidays. This is a great time to upgrade your skills - and your social life.
Here's the link again for the Social Circle Mastery Home Study Course - everything you need to transform your day-to-day social life.
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