November 30, 2014


10 Way to Get Women to Approach You

Do women ever approach and hit on guys? Yes, if those guys know what they're doing. If it doesn't happen to you often, use these ten tips to get more women in your life:

  1. Give her an excuse

    Have something on you that gives her an easy excuse to start a conversation. It can be anything (e.g., a t-shirt written in another language, a travel guide to Tibet, a Rubik's Cube) as long as it's easily noticeable and easy for a stranger to make a comment about it.

  2. Be 10% louder

    Louder people get more attention. Louder conversations draw more people in. Don't be awkward or look like you're lacking in social skills, but a couple decibels can make all the difference.

  3. Be a regular

    Maybe she didn't have the courage to approach you the first time around, but she thought about you and decided that if she saw you again, she'd make her move. Give her that opportunity.

  4. "Trick" her into thinking you're a male model

    We've tested this. A man with model-quality looks (we actually hired a model) with mediocre body language gets approached LESS than an average guy with great body language. In other words, learning good body language is like giving yourself model-quality looks. Wow.

    Learning good body language for attracting women isn't easy, so we put our best minds together in the Beyond Words: Body Language and Physical Escalation home study course.

  5. Meet me halfway

    Buy a damn ticket. You can do everything else on this list and it won't mean a damn thing if there are no women around. Of course there are bars, clubs, and coffee shops, but also consider some less traditional places to meet women like classes or sports.

  6. Have fun

    If you're having fun, you will naturally draw people in. Women respond to fun. Who wants to approach someone who looks boring and miserable? Women will approach the guy who seems fun and makes things happen.

  7. Be the social connector

    If you're at a party, bar, or event, be the guy who knows everyone. Even if you don't. Introduce yourself to everyone, to other men, to women you're not interested in, and introduce people to each other. Not only is this extremely attractive to women in itself (social proof), but it also makes it much easier for her to approach you.

  8. Attraction Fashion

    Dress well, but not what a fashion magazine would consider dressing well. Dress to express your identity. Dress in a way that is attractive to women, not to fashion advertisers. Contact us about setting up a personal consultation if this is a potential issue for you.

  9. Smile.

    You're nervous when you approach women, right? She'll be just as nervous to approach you. Smile and look like you're someone who is easy to talk to.

  10. Do some approaches yourself

    Women who you don't approach will feel jealous and left out of the fun, particularly if other women seem to be having a good time with you. This will motivate some women to approach you.

Do women really approach men?

Sometimes. But even the best looking man in the world using all of the tips above that I shared with you (and all the others that we share in our live training programs) are still going to approach more women than women are going to approach him. It's biology. As is the case with many other mammals, the female will usually wait for the male to make the first move. Humans are diverse, and there are definitely many exceptions to this rule, but it also holds true most of the time.

Also, when women approach you, it will usually look MUCH more indirect than when you approach women. She might ask the time, or if you have a cigarette, or what time the band comes on. These all give you opportunities to take hold of the conversation and drive it forward. Sometimes women are subtler, and instead of approaching you, will give you an approach invitation (this article has more on approach invitations in the advanced section). Either way, you should expect to be the one to drive things forward with her.

Don't know how to "drive things forward?" Download the (free) Love Systems Triad Model, and then check out upcoming live training programs.

Nick Savoy
Nick Savoy


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