April 23, 2014

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The truth about ‘pick up lines’

Do pickup lines work? Do the best dating coaches in the world use them? There's a lot of debate - it's time for answers.

Pick up lines are not complicated. They're often a sentence or two that you say to start talking to a woman. In the media, you'll see a lot of cheesy pickup lines, like "do you come here often?" or "what's your sign?" Don't use these. If you ever hear something described outside Love Systems as a pick up line, stay away. You'll come off as fake.

On the other hand, the best dating coaches in the world do NOT spontaneously think of something new, original, and effective each time they approach a woman. Some Love Systems instructors have done more than 5,000 approaches in their career. If they have something spontaneous to say on the 5,001st approach, they'll say it. If not, they'll use something that has worked well for them in the past. You should do the same.

Pick up lines (what we call "openers") don't have to be elaborate. The best pick up lines often aren't:

  • "Hi" is an opener.
  • "Are you having fun tonight?" is an opener
  • "You're tall; finally someone I can talk to!" is an opener, and a great one if you're also tall.
  • Opinion Openers are also pickup lines. Some of those can be quick (e.g., "Hey - do you think my friend here should grow a mustache?") and some are a bit longer (like the classic "jealous girlfriend opener" from the Magic Bullets Handbook).
  • Direct Openers are pickup lines too. E.g., "I saw you from over there and had to come find out what you were like. My name is ____." is a direct opener (though pretty light). There are a ton of good direct openers and openers of every time in the Routines Manual.

So what are you supposed to do?

Most experts agree to use something spontaneous, if you happen to think of something when approaching a woman. But that you should never let "I don't know what to say" stop you from going up to a woman and meeting her.

That's why top dating coaches always have a couple of openers or conversation starters or pickup lines ready to go at all times. Often you only have a split-second of opportunity. If you waste that time thinking of something to say, the moment is lost.

There are hundreds of great openers in the Love Systems Routines Manual if you want to know what the experts use. Try a few of them out, adapt them, and see what works best for you. They're all designed to be natural, so will come across as spontaneous and you can never be "caught".

(Not that most women actually care. Try this is as an experiment - the next time you've been talking to a woman for five minutes, tell her that whatever you approached her with was just a pretext, and you really just wanted to meet her and flirt with her. Most of the time, she'll just smile and say "I know")

If you don't have the routines manual yet (or the even better volume 2), one of the great things about it is it teaches you how to make and use your own routines, based on your own natural conversation. There's no memorization or practice - just taking our own experiences and fitting them into a structure that is interesting and compelling to women.

The Most Important Thing

The most important thing is that you approach. Never, ever, ever let "I don't have anything to say" stop you from meeting a woman. Even the worst opener (or pick up line) is better than none at all.

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.


Nick Savoy
Nick Savoy

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