November 18, 2013

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Social Proof is GREAT for meeting women…

Have you noticed this? Some days everything goes right when you meet women, and other days nothing at all seems to work?

There are a lot of reasons why this is: good or bad venues; your confidence level; getting (or not getting) into a rhythm; etc. But the biggest reason is one most men wouldn’t think of. It’s called Social Proof.

What is Social Proof?

Social Proof means that how people treat you is based partly on how they’ve seen other people treat you. Everyone does this. It’s how our brains are wired. And there’s no way to stop people from noticing you and what goes on around you.

For example:

  1. You get waved through the line at a nightclub. The owner comes out to say hi and gets you a drink. The two of you pose for a picture.  You now have a lot of social proof and meeting women will be a lot easier for the rest of the night.
  2. Someone comes by to thank you for inviting them to that great party last week. To anyone listening, you’re well-connected, popular, and add value to people around you. That’s quality social proof.
  3. You go to a party alone. You wander around for a minute, approach a group of women, it doesn’t go anywhere, and a few minutes later you’re standing alone. Result = zero social proof. You’ve actually made meeting women infinitely harder for yourself for the rest of the party.

And so on. You are always gaining or losing social proof. And it’s totally under your control. Like that rejection scenario in the last bullet point – it doesn’t have to be that way. Remember 5.0’s talk on social proof at the Super Conference a couple years ago.

Just by how you act, you can turn a rejection (low social proof) into pre-selection (high social proof). If a woman rejects your approach – which really shouldn’t happen often if you’re using Love Systems – instead of slinking away, act like she just gave you her phone number. Smile and write something in your phone. Make an “I’ll call you” gesture and walk away confidently, like she was all over you. She might think you’re insane – but she rejected you anyway, so who cares Everyone else will think you’re much more socially proofed. 

That whole Social Proof talk is definitely worth reviewing if you haven’t seen it recently.

Finally, if you have to remember one lesson about social proof, remember that perception is reality. It doesn’t matter what you are actually doing or thinking or feeling. What matters (in terms of meeting and attracting women) is what people perceive that you’re doing or thinking or feeling. Master that difference and you’re on your way to mastering Love Systems.


Nick Savoy
Nick Savoy

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