Have you ever seen a woman you were really interested in, but you only have a few minutes to meet her?
A lot of guys don't even try in that situation. But that's wrong. The only way you can fail is not to try. And some of the best experiences with women I've ever had have come through very short first meetings.
But you do have to make some adjustments. And I'm going to share my attraction-under-time-pressure secrets here. Use these if you think you have less than 20 minutes (in a bar, club, or party) or less than 10 minutes (coffee shop, mall, etc.):
Relax. You have enough time. The average woman subconsciously decides whether a man is a "no" or a "maybe" within the first 30-90 seconds. You have that long, right?
Acknowledge the time limit right away. If you're the one who is going to have to go, tell her right away. This will make your exit less jarring when it happens - especially if you plan to get her phone number. Normally, you're supposed to stay for at least five minutes after getting a woman's number - or she'll have visions of you being the guy who leaves when he gets what he wants. But if you can warn her in advance that you're going to leave in a minute, it makes things a bit better.
Or, if she's the one who is going to have to go, you will make her feel more comfortable by acknowledging the time limit rather than ignoring it. Instead of worrying that "this guy is hitting on me and I really hope he shuts up because I have to go in a minute," she might be thinking: "OK, we've got 5 minutes to talk; let's see what he's all about."
Don't speed up. If you have half the time, accept that you can only do half as much. Do not try to cram 20 minutes of conversation into 10. Speaking slowly with powerful voice tonality is one of the most attractive tools at your disposal. Don't throw it away. Especially when communication is 7% what you say and 93% how you say it, focus on the 93%. In addition, speaking too quickly will make you harder to understand.
Same thing applies to your movements and gestures. As body language expert Derek Cajun says on Beyond Words Body Language DVD Course - the last word on body language and physical escalation, with masters Vercetti and Keychain as well as Cajun - "move like you're moving under water.
Logistics, Logistics, Logistics. You know from the Love Systems Triad (click the link; it’s a free download) that in ANY situation with a woman, there are three things to keep your eye on: Emotional connection; Physical connection; and Logistics. The less time you have, the more important logistics get. You need to find some way to continue the conversation after your initial five minutes are over. Normally this means getting her phone number, but any way of being able to get in touch again can work (e.g., Facebook, having a mutual friend, her telling you she goes to the same coffee shop at the same time every Tuesday, etc.) Once you have a bit of attraction, you must be thinking of logistics before time runs out.
Don’t fluff. In a “normal” conversation, not everything you say or do is going to make her swoon or her eyes light up. That’s actually normal and good. Too many fireworks from you can be overwhelming or put her on her guard. But if you only have a few minutes, you don’t time for long periods of fluff in between the attraction “spikes”. If you only have a few minutes to make her realize that she wants to talk to you again, fine – make them your best few minutes.
Remember logistics? Let’s talk about that again. Just thinking about logistics isn’t going to get you anywhere. You’ve got to make plans happen. So, once you have a bit of attraction, start probing for easy opportunities to get her number. What does she do for fun? Where does she like to go out? What kind of food does she like? Any of these questions can lead to something you have in common and an invitation to continue the conversation. E.g., if she says she likes sushi, tell her about the new sushi bar that opened near you with the world’s best hand rolls (or whatever’s appropriate), and then say, “give me your number; I’ll text you.” Look for a meaningful opportunity to get her phone number for something specific (even if you and her never actually go for sushi), as opposed to the awkward, end-of-conversation, “so, can I get your number?”
(But if your time is up and you haven’t come up with anything, then yeah, just ask for her number. If you’ll never see her again otherwise, doing anything is better than doing nothing.)
The real work happens in text/sms messages. Remember earlier when I said that the average woman will decide if you’re a “no” or a “maybe” in the first 30-90 seconds? That’s totally true. And there’s no “yes” on the menu that early. Getting her phone number so you can keep touch after meeting her for five minutes is the end of the beginning, not the beginning of the end. At that point, whether you see her again – and how things go if you do see her again – depends on your texting skills. Great text game will intensify her attraction to you, so that she’s dying to go out with you -- and wants something to happen she does. Without good text skills, all you’re doing is getting phone numbers that will turn into flakes. Or, at best, girls who love to text but who go silent as soon as you talk about making plans. If you’re looking for help on your text game, check out The Attraction Forums free forum all about text game.
Or, if you just want to get to the straight goods, pick up a copy of The Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game by the man who was voted the #1 dating coach in the world last year: Braddock. Braddock breaks down the 3 different kinds of phone numbers you’ll get and how to work with each, how to respond to a woman’s most common texts, how often and when to text, and what to say, and so on. It’s got pages and pages of actual text message scripts and conversations – lifted straight out of Braddock’s phone – and includes bonuses like how to revitalize old phone numbers and how to rev her up so much before a date that she can’t wait to get her hands on you.
Try. Don’t let “she looks busy” or “I have to leave soon” be an excuse for not approaching. The only guaranteed way to fail is not to try. And the only guaranteed way to have a chance is to try. So, stop looking at your watch and get out there and meet women!
There you go. Now you don’t an excuse any more not to approach, meet, and attract beautiful women. If you’re still having trouble, consider a private phone consultation with a Love Systems expert
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