One thing we do a lot on The Lounge is to help guys solve advanced-level problems with women, like learning how to attract high quality women or get your ex back. Recently, one lounge member has been messaging me – he got into a relationship with his “dream girl” after his bootcamp, about two years ago, and they just broke up. He’s getting back into things now, and we broke down his situation.
(“The Lounge” is a very private (and free) forum for Love Systems instructors and live training graduates. It’s been going for ten years – it was originally the “Mystery Lounge” from The Game– with a full archive. Love Systems post-bootcamp or post-workshop support includes free lifetime Lounge membership as well as a free month of the MasterMind LifeLine program).
I won’t go into the every detail of the conversation – the Lounge is private for a reason – but some of the key points we covered are useful to anyone who is trying to get back into the dating scene, jump into it for the first time, or make a girl like you:
You don’t have to be Casanova to get women. Guys who learn Love Systems and the right way to learn game are often shocked at how bad the average guy is at attracting women. You don’t need to be better than a Love Systems instructor to get a woman interested, you just need to be better than the guys standing next to you.
Most guys are way too serious - in every way. What they talk about is too serious. How they make plans is too serious. Their tone and body language is too serious. And so on. Attraction is emotional, not logical. She’ll be attracted to you if she has fun with you, and she won’t if she doesn’t. If you want to learn how to impress a girl and make her attracted, don’t make her feel like she’s at work. (By the way, the opposite of “serious” is not “silly” or “goofy”. Try “playful”). One common problem – asking too many questions. As a quick solution, make sure you never ask two questions in a row. Alternate question-statement-question-statement.
First impressions matter – a lot. The average woman decides whether a guy is a “no” or a “maybe” within the first 30-90 seconds. This makes body language, fashion, and voice tone very important, as well as any social cues that you give off. (Related to this, if you haven’t already, check out this article on The Attraction Forums – should you buy her a drink?)
Fortune favors the bold. A woman isn’t going to be captivated by every guy who is “good enough”. Playing it safe is usually a sure path to a whole bunch of women thinking you’re okay. Taking risks and learning how to be more confident means some women might not like you, but the ones who do will really like you. Besides, sensible risk-taking is a very attractive quality to most women.
She wants to meet you too. Most single women (and a lot of non-single women) go out wanting to meet men. Culture is such that some women feel they have to pretend that they don’t want to be approached – but obviously this isn’t true or they wouldn’t go to places where that’s what men do. If you want to find a great girl, go in with the mindset that of course she wants to meet you too. It will change your results.
Getting all of the “technical” stuff right is important for closing the deal – whether you’re going for phone numbers and dates, or trying to make something happen that night. The stuff in this email is no substitute for reading Magic Bullets or watching the Super Conference DVDs (with in-field footage). The technical stuff is “what to do” and the stuff in this article is “how to do it”. You need to be good at both to succeed.
I don’t recommend that guys get into a relationship within the first couple months after your bootcamp. When your skills are dramatically increasing, it’s easy to sell yourself short. And you don’t want to short-circuit the growth process. If you attract women of a higher caliber than you’re used to, it’s easy to think that she’s out of your league and you have to put her on a pedestal for fear of losing her. (easy to think that, but counter-productive – treating her like this will eventually make her cheat and/or run).
But if you know that it’s normal for you to be attractive to women of her caliber, then you can make her your girlfriend choose her from a position of strength – you’re with her because you want to be with her, not because she’s the best you can get. That makes for a much better relationship – for both people.