Summer is coming. Women wear less, people go out more, and every single girl wants to meet and date more men. Will you be one of the lucky guys? I hope so. Life is just more fun with a great girl on your arm. So let's get right away to your summer pick up and dating questions:
I'm hoping you can help me. I met a girl at my friend's party and at first it went great - I've never kissed a girl one hour after meeting her before! I'm not a "natural" so I like how Magic Bullets breaks it down so it's all step by step and I'm not confused, but I think I made a mistake anyways.
I wanted her to come sit outside with me where it was quieter and we could get to know each other, but she kept saying she couldn't leave her friends. I even offered to give her friends my phone or to sit where they could see us from the window, but she still said no. Now, it's a few days later and I've called her a few times and she hasn’t answered.
I'm worried I lost her - please help, what can I do now?
Miklas ("Mike"), Chicago, IL
I wasn't there, but my guess is she didn't want to leave the party and go outside. When an offer gets rejected like this, change her mood, not her mind. Don't sulk. Just figure out what emotions she still needs to feel with you (e.g., excitement, trust, curiosity) and focus on those.
You'll be amazed. I had a client at last year's Dating Super Conference who tried to invite a serious "10" back to his room towards the end of the night. She said she didn't go home with strange men. He laughed it off, did some more push-pull, and a few minutes later she asked him if he was ready to leave.
A lot of women say no at first to see how you'll handle it.
Another thing - if you're making out with a girl within an hour at a party, she's probably looking more for "fun and excitement" than "deep connection in a 1-1 chat outside when everyone is having fun inside."
As for what to do now? It's probably done, but you can use some of the revitalizing old phone numbers techniques from Braddock and Mr. M's guide on how to flirt through text. Some text messages and strategies are better for these kinds of "long fuse" situations than calling.
I was one of those guys you talked about in your video - who wants something better but makes every excuse so I don't have to change. I was shocked out of that last summer when a close friend passed away unexpectedly. Any of us can go at any moment - and I want to live my LIFE first.
Long story short, I've been to a bootcamp and a day game workshop since then and I've done a 180. I've hooked up with more women than I could count - and this is all since last August. I literally feel like a new person.
My problem is that I'm not sure I LIKE this new person. Sex is fun, but I realized I'm breaking a lot of hearts and one of my friends got on me about this recently. I'm thinking of settling down but I like what I'm doing with Love Systems. How do you or other instructors handle it?
Chris A., Montpellier, VT
Whoa... YOU are in charge of your life. No one said you had to use Love Systems to sleep with every hot woman you see. (No one said you couldn't, either.)
If it's just about feeling like you're leading women on, then there are some great expectation-setting tools in the Friends with Benefits interview with Braddock and me. It's a myth that women only want sex if it's leading to a relationship. It's something women say to nice guys to get them to keep their hands to themselves, and so they don't get judged.
But what women don't tend to like - as you've experienced - are guys who imply one thing and then deliver another. I've never lost a girl just because I sent expectations - comfortably and not awkwardly - in advance.
If you want a girlfriend, great. I'm sure there are plenty of guys from your bootcamp and/or day game workshop who have settled down with their dream girl by now. The advice we give is not to get into a relationship for at least six weeks - not forever.
The six weeks aren't because relationships are bad. It's because when you're picking up much higher-quality women than you're used to, it's not easy to make good decisions right away. You wouldn't ask someone who is used to McDonald's to choose a great steakhouse. Not until he's been to a couple of them anyway...
... but it sounds like you've dated enough now to be able to make good decisions. So, stop letting everyone hold you back. Summer is coming - get your life sorted so you make the most of it!
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