February 13, 2012


How to Touch Women - 'Kino'

Kino is a rather bizarre word (it comes from "kinesthetic," a Neuro-Linguistic Programming term for physical touch) used to replace a simple one: touching.

It's not important whether you call it kino, touching or physical contact. The crucial thing is that you do it. Going from being strangers to lovers with a woman is a big jump in intimacy. Touching provides you with the steps to get from one to the other. It builds up sexual tension and keeps you away from the "let's just be friends" zone.

The best time to start touching a woman is as soon as you possibly can. If you already know her or are being introduced by a friend then give her a hug. In some countries, such as Britain, this isn't an automatic greeting and can be awkward if it isn't done confidently. Hold your arms wide open and make it obvious she's getting hugged... if she seems taken aback say something like "Don't worry, you won't get pregnant." If she gives an embarrassed or half-hearted hug then tease her about it. If you've just approached a woman you've never met before then give her a good handshake when introducing yourself.

Stay close to her. Touching will be awkward or contrived if you have to move a long way to do it. If you are in a busy club or bar this can be easy. People are packed in tightly and loud music means getting close to be heard. Get some physical contact in at high points during the conversation. If you are about to say something funny then it's a good time to lightly touch her elbow. By making physical contact while saying something interesting it makes the touch less conspicuous. Your words act as a diversion.

Don't be afraid to give her a playful shove if she says something geeky or tries to tease you. Taking a close look at her jewellery, tattoos or anything similar can be a good excuse to get some touching in. If she's wearing a chunky ring you can examine it, tell her it looks like a knuckle duster and role play that you're going to hire her as your bodyguard (not such a good idea if it's an engagement ring).

As you continue with the interaction aim to make your touches longer, more obvious and more sexual (there's more on escalating your physical contact from friendly and social to sexual in the Triad Model). But this progress shouldn't just be in a straight line. Every time you make an advance take a step back and pause before you go ahead again. Then aim to get a bit further. By taking two steps forward and one step back you remain a challenge and keep building the sexual tension.

It's important to keep aware of her reactions when you touch her. If she's uncomfortable you should stop, wait, then try again later. If she's totally at ease with your physical contact it's a great sign. If she's touching you too then even better. But don't assume anything. Until you've kissed her, she still has plausible deniability. She can be enjoying your touch, the flirting, the sexual tension, and have absolutely no intention of proceeding further. There's only one way to find out...

How comfortable you feel making physical contact with girls will vary according to your culture and personality. If it doesn't come naturally then spend a week or so making touching your mission. Be bold. Taking it too far will teach you where the limits are. Often they are further than you think.

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Nick Savoy
Nick Savoy


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