Most people think that women are naturally “choosier” than men. And that an attractive woman can get almost any man she wants, but a man has to have a lot going for him AND have great “game.”
Guess what? That’s only true if you believe it’s true.
(Love Systems has been teaching this for years. Now scientists are helping prove it.)
The Psychology Today study used “Speed Dating” where single people have a series of 5-minute “dates” with each other. Usually women sit at tables and men rotate around until every man has had a “date” with every woman. Then everyone writes the names of the people they liked and if there’s a match, they get each other’s phone number.
Psychology Today looked at thousands of speed dating sessions and found that women listed far fewer “matches” than men. On the surface, score 1 for conventional wisdom and 0 for Love Systems. But then they took a page out of the Love Systems manual and “flipped the script.” Instead of women sitting and men rotating (and “approaching” them), the men sat and the women rotated.
This completely changed the results. Now women – even especially attractive women – listed many more men they were attracted to then before.
This shouldn’t surprise experienced members of the Love Systems community. Many Love Systems techniques are based on 1/ “flipping the script” and making her chase you, and 2/ manipulating the physical and social environment so that it “feels” like she is hitting on you... and then she often will.
Role-Plays: a major building block of attraction. If you lead her to role-play that she is your girlfriend, your sex partner, or hitting on you, then she is more likely to actually act in this way. Even “fake” emotions work and cognitive dissonance means if she is acting like she wants you, she is more likely to actually want you. (Same with Jealousy Plotlines and Takeaways and Boundaries.)
- We teach clients never to “lean in” because that puts you in the physical position of hitting on her. Instead, we teach how to get her to “lean in” to you so that she is in the same position as when she is actually hitting on a guy. This makes it more likely for her to actually become attracted to you.
- The whole Qualification process – crucial for ANY pickup where it’s about more than just sex – is based completely on the principle of flipping the script and putting her in a position where she can’t help but hit on you.
- “Locking in” within the first five minutes of a conversation. E.g., Get her in a position where you are leaning back against a wall, while she is facing you. She will feel like she is hitting on you. In the opposite situation, she will feel like you are hitting on her...
- ...and as you should know from Female Psychology, women instinctively respond to social cues. If you are on “offensive” (hitting on her), she will be on “defense” (screening you). But if you set it up so you’re screening her, her natural tendency will be to try to pass your tests. Think about TV shows like The Bachelor. Why do they work? Because the women on the show are being screened by the guy. If he met these women by walking up to them in a bar or a park, very few (if any) would be interested.
I could go on forever, but I think I’ve taken enough of a victory lap. Read the original Psychology Today study here.
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