An attractive lifestyle is the best foundation you can give yourself to date more (and hotter) women. Best of all, it’s easy to do. It takes effort instead of skill. Developing a more attractive lifestyle is the best foundation you can give yourself to date more (and hotter) women. Best of all, it’s easy to do. It takes effort instead of skill
Lifestyle is the foundation that supports all your cool Love Systems skills (approaching, attraction, framing, etc.). With an attractive lifestyle, you can get away with more “mistakes.” Guys who have terrible lifestyles can still be great with women – but they have much, much less room for error. Lifestyle isn’t enough by itself, but it sure makes everything else easier.
Lifestyle begins at home. Your living situation says SO much about you to a woman, and it’s not something you can avoid. If you want to date her or have sex with her, she’s probably going to see where you live.
It’s not about having the fancy address or the luxury mansion. Use your living space to tell her a story about yourself and hint that there’s more to come. Improving these areas of your life will help you be more attractive to women.
Use your home to show your identity. Did you and her bond over travel stories? Have pictures or objects from your travels kicking around. Each should have a story behind it…but only if she asks. Did you say you are passionate about cooking? Don’t have an empty fridge.
Everything I’ve said about fashion (like in the chapter on fashion in the Magic Bullets Handbook) also applies to your home. She’s going to assume that everything about how you look and how you live is a deliberate choice that you made. How she feels about these choices leads right in to how she feels about you.
Being true to an attractive identity is more important than fancy furniture or how big your mortgage is.
You are who you spend time with. Okay, that’s not literally true, but it’s true enough for a woman who might date you. Are your friends boring and unexciting? Are they all party animals? Is your TV your best friend, or do you have an interesting life?
For a woman, dating you means being part of your world. So introduce her to people and have friends who help you create a lifesrtyle that she wants to be part of.
Be more social and outgoing – every day. Force yourself to meet one new person or have one social conversation you wouldn’t normally have. For one thing, practice and experience always pay off. The “social masters” journalist Adam Brown talks about in Myths and Masters of the Game put themselves in social situations all the time. Experience, experience, experience helps you become the person who intuitively knows “the right thing to say” in any situation.
Plus, you can’t use all the powerful and breakthrough techniques from Braddock and Mr M’s Social Circle Mastery Home Study Course if you don’t go meet anyone. Most guys these days use some form of Social Circle Mastery to meet and date hot women through friends and acquaintances and to break into social circles full of high-quality contacts and beautiful women. But you still have to meet people to make it work.
If you want to date more than one woman at a time, your lifestyle has to “fit.” I go over this in a lot of detail in the Relationship Management DVDs - it would take too long to repeat here, but, to oversimplify – a woman is much more likely to accept you dating multiple women if you have a lifestyle that “fits.” If you have the kind of life where you are outgoing, constantly meeting new people, and very social, a woman is much more likely to accept you having multiple relationships than if she sees you as someone who stays in every night on your computer.
Passion conquers all. We all know or have heard of the guy who lives in his friend’s basement but bring home attractive women any time he wants. To do this, you have to have great skills with women and know Love Systems inside and out.
But even then, for a lot of these guys their lifestyle is not as bad as it looks. If you’re following your passion and your dream (going for your PhD, making it as a musician, artist, or writer), going back to school, etc – then your lifestyle can fit and be attractive – even if you’re in the basement.
In other words, do not confuse lifestyle with wealth. They are not at all the same thing.
Your job is not an excuse. Some jobs can be lifestyle killers. Whether you’re working a million hours per week, busy every evening, weekend and holiday, your time is never your own, or if you have to live somewhere you don’t want – these are real lifestyle problems.
Unless it’s part of your identity and passion (e.g., endless shifts at the hospital could be worth it if you’re on your way to being a doctor and love medicine), fix this. There are other jobs. Even in this economy.
Ironically, a lot of guys in these 75-hour workweeks got into these careers because they wanted a better lifestyle. Do above-average pay, expensive clothes, and nice cars make you more attractive to women? All things being equal, sure. But 9 times out of 10, a woman is going to be more interested in the guy with interesting friends, experiences, and time and passion to pursue them over the banking drone who hates his job but can afford fancy restaurants.
It’s your life. If you don’t like something, change it. No one else will change it for you.
Lifestyle without Love Systems is boring or worse. I said at the beginning of this that lifestyle is the foundation. The thing about a foundation is you have to build on it. Or else it’s just a boring foundation.
Love Systems is what lets you convey your lifestyle and personality to beautiful women in a way that is attractive and interesting to her. Even if you’ve never met her before, even if she’s the most standoffish “10” beauty queen in the world, etc.
Without that, most guys turn women off by being boring… they don’t know the triggers and attraction switches to engage her emotionally, to keep that push/pull dynamic going, to make her qualify herself, and so on. Or, worse, they try to force their lifestyle down her throat and come as insecure and bragging.
Since I started Love Systems, I’ve worked with hundreds of multi-millionaire business owners, B-list celebrities, and people who lead amazing lives. And it can be unbelievably frustrating for these guys because they know that if most women got to know them, they’d be attracted. But breaking through her defenses, her social conditioning, her automatic behavior and responses, etc., can be a challenge. That’s where Love Systems skills come in.
An interesting result of that is that the Super Conference has become a great networking event – in addition to being the ultimate conference to learn how to date and attract beautiful women. Because there are so many interesting and successful guys learning game together and being coached at the club by Love Systems instructors, I’ve heard of lots of business deals, job offers, and social events that have come out of the PUA Super Conference every year.
Showing is better than telling. If you have to tell, make her ask. Your lifestyle is something that exists in reality. So don’t just talk about it, let her experience it. Remember that chart in the Magic Bullets Handbook with the different ways a woman could learn something about you and different effects it would have? That goes doubly true for lifestyle.
So if you have cool friends, introduce her to them. If you’ve got access to cool events, take her to them. And so on. Don’t talk about something you could just as easily do.
Sometimes you don’t have this option – like when you’re first meeting her. If there’s something you really want her to know about you, it’s often most effective to bait her into asking you about it. If I were a great salsa dancer, I might tell her a story about my friend Joe who I met at a dance show. The story would be short and having nothing to do with dance. But she’s likely to wonder what a dance show is. I’d answer “oh, I’m a salsa dancer. Do you dance?”
Now I’ve got two balls in the air. One is that she’s going to want to know more about me being a salsa dancer. The other is that my question to her can either lead into some Qualification or Comfort-building depending on which direction I want to take it.
A lot of this fits in Storytelling techniques. If you’re not used to embedding and baiting, re-read the chapter on Storytelling in the Magic Bullets Handbook. It builds stories up piece by piece so you have a workable model to communicate just about anything to her in a way that is attractive.
Take action - now. Just about everyone can benefit from a few lifestyle improvements, big or small. That’s why we got a couple of major lifestyle success stories, Bonsai and Micha (who is actually a major figure in Myths and Masters - his stories include pulling a woman to his hotel room within five minutes of meeting her — at breakfast!), on the interview series to talk about the dozens of specific things you can do to improve how women see your lifestyle.
They spit a lot of information at you (it’s about an hour long and tightly-edited, so once it gets going it’s nearly pure content), and I’d advise focusing on 2 or 3 things at a time, maximum.
Click the link below to listen to the first 10 minutes for free: