Are gyms a good place to meet women? I see hot girls there all the time, but they always seem busy and have their headphones on.
-Eric, Rockville, MD
I love gyms for meeting women. I went to college in Montreal, where it gets pretty darn cold. In the winter, women wear 7 layers of clothing. It’s impossible to guess a women’s weight within 25 lbs. At least at the gym, you know what you’re getting – physically, anyway.
In general, approach women when it’s difficult. Not just when it’s easy. When you approach a woman with her headphones at the gym, or a girl on the street, or a woman in the corner of the bar surrounded by a group of men – yeah it will be a bit harder, but you will definitely stand out. Most women will appreciate a guy with the “balls” to go where other men don’t. (And don’t worry about the headphones. Unless she’s on a treadmill or something, she’ll turn her iPod down when you start talking to her anyway. Just ignore it.)
A couple gym tips:
Go to the gym later in the day. It’s less likely she’ll be in a rush or have plans for right after. Start a conversation, then suggest getting a smoothie after or going for a drink.
Bring a change of clothes to the gym. If you have an instant-date, you don’t want to have to go home and change first.
Skip long, drawn out “opinion openers” at the gym. Instead, comment on the invariably crappy music the gym is playing or the Richard Simmons lookalike who is inevitably stalking the yoga mats.
Gym pickups are short, like Day Game. Actually, a lot of what Jeremy Soul talked about in his book Daytime Dating will work for you at the gym.
Choose your gym carefully. Buying a membership at the local college gym not only usually means access to great facilities but also a high percentage of young, hot women.
Hope this helps! There is a lot of great advice on The Attraction Forums on picking up at the gym.
I want to thank you everything Love Systems has done for me. I first read the Magic Bullets Handbook a year ago and read it again a few times last summer and got SERIOUS about changing my life. Holy F---! It worked exactly as I hope. Last week, I went back to my five year college reunion and no one recognize the “old Jason” but the popular hot girls loved the “new me”. It’s added a lot of confidence and FUN to my life. It’s like in the movies where you get to go back in time and do it all over – except it was real!
Through my friends [social circle], I hook up very easily. Bars are more trouble. One out of every two or three nights I get a same-night lay, but if I don’t go home with the girl, I can never get her out to see me again. This is even if she is BEGGING me to take her phone number? What am I doing wrong?
-J.S., Sugar Land, TX
I had to really shorten your letter down; hope you don’t mind. And congratulations on your progress so far. Sometimes, as men, we are too focused on the next mountain to climb that don’t appreciate how far we’ve already come.
Onto your question – it’s almost definitely a problem with your “phone game” or, as we call it now “phone and text game.”
Phone and text game is the bridge between the first meeting (“the pickup”) and the second meeting (“the first date”). If you’re not good at that, you’ll be wasting your time meeting women since you’ll never get to see them again. If you’re really good at phone and text game, even very quick or fleeting pickups can turn into something.
My girlfriend before I left San Diego – a legit “10” – came from a 5-minute conversation after the bar closed when her friends were yelling at her to get in the car. After some great phone for a couple weeks, she invited me over to dinner and the rest was history.
The master’s guide to Phone and Text Game is of course the full-length book by top-10 pick up artists Braddock and Mr M, called The Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game. I don’t have space to summarize a couple hundred pages of text message scripts, phone call transcripts, etc., here, but I can give you a few pointers to start you off:
Make sure she has your phone number in her phone when you get her number. That way she’ll know it’s you when you call.
Never leave voicemail. If you have to leave a message, send a text.
Text her later that night if possible. (This can be great for same-night lays as well. Meet her around midnight, text her at 2am with “are you guys still here?”) If not, definitely the next day.
With most women, start texting instead of calling first.
Vary your texts – they shouldn’t all be funny or serious or long or short or questions or statements. Mix it up.
Never respond to her texts more quickly than she is responding to yours.
Get a conversation flowing a bit first before you suggest plans.
Make your phone and text game consistent with the initial pickup. If you met her for 5 minutes, don’t suggest dinner for Saturday night.
Sign your name on your texts just in case. Just your name. Not “Nick, the guy in the red jacket from last night,” just “Nick”
The great thing about texts (and phone calls to a certain extent) is you can “cheat”. You don’t have to think of the best answer on the spot – you can consult Braddock and Mr M’s Ultimate Guide and either use something “off the shelf” from the book or use it to inspire your own message.
If you’re trying to cram everything in 168 characters (a text message maximum) you’re trying to say too much
If she doesn’t respond to a text, don’t worry about it. Send another one later. Don’t even “notice” that she didn’t reply.
Alright, I said I wouldn’t go on forever. I’d really suggest you take a look at the Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game.
I slept with my roommate’s girlfriend. I feel like an asshole. I can’t really explain it, except we were all drunk and she was flirting pretty hard. I was using a couple games and teases from the Routines Manual on other girls at the party and they were biting pretty hard, so do you think that was it? That she saw other girls wanting me so she wanted some herself? She’s a nice girl and this doesn’t seem like her. And how do you “turn it off” so the wrong girls aren’t attracted to you?
-Darren K, San Diego, CA
The reason that you “feel like an asshole” is because you are, in fact, an asshole. Here’s how you avoid sleeping with your friends’ girlfriends: You know that part of the night where you took your pants off and got on top of her? Don’t do that. The customer is not always right.
P.S. As for your question – the answer is probably yes. When a woman isn’t used to seeing other women attracted to you and all of a sudden you start saying exactly the right things to trigger women’s emotions, then yes, it will usually make her curious about you. Though most women have more self-control than that.