Because logistics are so important, I wanted to do a couple logistics articles here.
Kicking it off for us is the notorious Love Systems expert “Big Business.” This is the same guy who casually and effortlessly took home the first beautiful girl he saw in an A-list New York nightclub!
So, I couldn’t think of anyone better to handle this article – how to make seduction work if you’re at her place (instead of yours, which is usually better):
By Big Business
When I first moved to New York City, I learned about the canyon between “city people” (who live on the island of Manhattan) and “everyone else.”
One thing about city people is they don’t like to leave Manhattan, and definitely not to go all the way to Queens with some guy they just met. It’s no big deal, except I live in Queens and go to Manhattan a lot.
Once I started learning Love Systems, I was actually able to pull beautiful women home to my place in Queens. But, in the meantime, I also got good at making things work by going back to her place, which is why Savoy asked me to write this article.
This step seems obvious, but you'd be surprised how often it is unintentionally left out. When you know where a woman lives, you can plan ahead to deal with the logistical problems you’re going to hit later.
Does she live near the venue? Does she have a roommate? Is she in a dorm? Do you know of a cool bar/after hours joint near her place? When you want to bounce her back there, are you going to drive, walk, or take a cab? Even if you end up with a phone number + date instead of going home with her, this info will be useful for when you go out again.
Here are a few scenarios to consider, and ways I've figured out how to deal with them:
Roommates: When there is a separate bedroom to retreat to, sacrificing a few minutes of conversation to win over the roommate(s) will make your being there a lot more comfortable. After they trust you, you can use any nonsense reason to bounce your girl to her bedroom. "Bet my room is cleaner than yours," is one example.
Cab ride: If she lives a cab ride away, be sure to keep up the momentum in the car, and continue to build up physical intimacy. If you were touching her arm in the bar, touch her leg in the cab. If you were about to make out in the bar, make out in the cab. Avoid cabs with bucket seats that make physical contact impossible.
Dorm: If there's a security guard, you can go through the lengthy (and vibe-killing) process of giving him your ID and signing in, or you can tell the girl to slide her card through and sneak in behind her. You get points for being resourceful, and it's exciting because it seems like you're doing something wrong.
Shared bedroom: There are public bathrooms in dorms and hotels that I have found very accommodating when dealing with shared room situations. Be sure and scan for them when entering, and when it's time to bounce to it, tell the girl that you're "taking her on a field trip."
This is a huge topic that lots of Love Systems instructors have gone into incredible detail on, but the general principle is important. If you can get a girl sexually excited, then she's going to want to bring you to a place where you can have sex as quickly as humanly possible. At Love Systems we teach everything you need to know to accomplish this goal, from framing the conversation sexually to escalating things physically, but in the meantime here are a few quick pointers to get you started:
Always end a touch or kiss before they do/want you to.
Drop the topic of sex into conversation (in a light, joking way) as quickly as possible.
Start touching the way you'd touch your boss and build to the way you'd touch a girlfriend.
It’s easy to think of reasons to give a woman why she has to come back to your place. Keep it simple. "Let me show you that book I was talking about," is perfect. It gives her plausible deniability and doesn’t tip your hand.
It’s harder to do this with her place. "Do you want to take me home with you?" makes you sound like a stray dog, not a man. "Let's go to your place" is totally cliche thanks to every movie from the 1970s. "Let's get out of here" is great if it’s obvious and explicit that she wants to have sex, but if you're still flying a bit under the radar or her friends are around, you're going to need something a little more subtle.
Instead, take the lead with "let's get you home." It’s a little dominant, it shows you know how to lead, but it also doesn’t trigger state breaks. If her friends are around, it implies that you are just going to make sure that she gets home safe. She shouldn't feel any pressure since there's really nothing implied. And if nothing’s going to happen, then there's no reason she can't bail on her friends, right?
(If you don’t remember state breaks, review Chapter 10 of Magic Bullets now. If you haven’t read Magic Bullets, get it. It’s the official Love Systems guide to meeting and attracting women, and where most successful guys start.)
There's nothing more awkward than walking a woman home and standing there silent for an eternity waiting for her to invite you up. Avoid this situation by assuming that she'll be bringing you upstairs. Do not pause by the door. Do not say "Well, it was nice hanging out with you." Keep the momentum of the interaction going as though you are still in the process of hanging out.
If she has to invite you in, that’s risking a state break. Of course, there will be times when she suggests that you don't come up, either because she doesn't want to appear easy, or because she thinks letting you upstairs is an implicit agreement that you'll be sleeping together. You can usually defuse this by giving yourself a bedtime. "I've got work in the morning, so I can only come up for a little bit" is one of my favorites. Say this before she even gets a chance to tell you why you can’t come in – like you coming in is a foregone conclusion.