October 25, 2009


Q&A - Focus on Attraction

Dear Love Systems,

I'm probably the biggest basket case you'd ever meet. I'm 26 and have only been with three women in my life (and only one before I bought The Game).

Actually, before then, I had never even approached a woman I didn't know.

I wish this were a bigger success story (I guess it means you won't print my letter), but I'm still stuck. I can approach women easily now – thanks to Sinn and Savoy'sinterview for that – they're right, opening is actually pretty easy, but there are some women (about half) who I just can't attract.

I have a couple of the interviews and I have the e-book but I haven't read the whole thing. Is there something I'm missing?

- [Name and address withheld]

Dear Anonymous,

I'm in a contrary mood today. Just because you thought we wouldn't print your letter, I made sure that we did. That won't work next week, but it did today.

Now, don't buy any more products until you finish Magic Bullets. There's really great stuff out there, but why buy it if you won't be able to use it? You need to finish the e-book.

Okay, now onto your question. Keep these things in mind:

  • You've already made a lot of progress. From having no ability to even open, you are attracting about 50% of the women to whom you are attracted. That's a great start.
  • You won't get EVERY woman. At least not for a long time. Some are in love with their boyfriends, some aren't in the mood to meet someone at the moment, some don't even like men. There are more than 3 billion women in the world. You don't need them all.

This probably isn't what you wanted, though. You wanted some more tactical advice. So here goes:

  • Make sure you are picking a target. A lot of men who are new to Love Systems fail because they go into groups of people and see who is attracted to them and then respond to those signals. ALWAYS pick a target. This is the one who has to "win you over." The rest of the group you get along with right away. If you don't do this, you're not a challenge to some women and they might dismiss you.

  • Tease the target. You are teasing, right? (If you have any doubts listen to the interview from the Interview Series entitled Teasing by Braddock and Dahunter).

  • Try all of the different ways you can create attraction from a woman. Make sure you are quickly Demonstrating Higher Value (DHVs). Remember that there are different types of DHVs, and that women will respond to them differently. So, if all of your DHVs are based on pre-selection (showing or implying that other women are attracted to you), then throw some Humor or demonstrations of Social Status (such a leader of men) and see how she reacts. Experiment and learn what works.

  • Throw in some Interactive Value Demonstrations (IVDs). Make women laugh. Teach them something.

Okay, those are the basics. Now, if you are STILL not getting attraction from the woman you want, shift gears and try something new. It can't hurt.

  • If you've been in a set for a while and aren't seeing Indicators of Interest (IOIs), it might still be the case that she is attracted. You might have missed the IOIs, or she might be someone who doesn't show she is attracted in quite the same way as most women do. A woman staying in your presence and listening to you for a period of time can imply attraction. Test once in a while with some qualification questions. Maybe she's already attracted and just not showing it.

  • Disqualify yourself further. Tell her (in a smiling, non-confrontational way) why it is that you and her wouldn't get along. Keep it funny. And then go back to talking to her friends with more DHVs.

  • Go get value elsewhere and return. Some women need to actually SEE you with other attractive women before their attraction switches get turned on. Leave, get other women on your arm, and bump into the woman you want later on that night.

  • Experiment. Try anything. Start signing. Buy shots. Pull out a book and draw in it. Whatever you can think of. You might learn something interesting.

And if none of that works?

Move on to your next set. You can't become good with women if you get hung up on the fate of one interaction with one woman for 20 minutes when there is a whole planet full of women awaiting you. If you do get hung up, it will ruin your next approaches. Everyone who is successful with women runs into problematic sets once in a while. Of course, if you've studied Magic Bullets and have been practicing, you should be attracting well over 50% of your sets, but you've only been in the game for a couple of months. Give it another couple. Get over your failures, learn from them, and move on.

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Nick Savoy
Nick Savoy


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