LBD is one our newest/oldest instructors. He’s been around since 2002, he appeared in the book The Game, and he has been a top dating coach for years. He has recently returned from his service in Iraq and is now back on “active duty” as a Love Systems lead instructor. LBD is known for his “no BS” style. He tells it like it is, both to students on his bootcamps and in life in general. Today he takes a look at so-called “natural game.”
I’ve been around pickup and dating science for longer than just about anybody. I’ve seen trends come and go, from creepy old guys telling you to point at your penis when you talk to hippy shamans guaranteeing that any woman can squirt, not to mention the guy who had legions of online fans based on his “new discoveries” until he was forced to admit that he was, in fact, a virgin. These things remind me of societal trends like 80’s clothes and hair, oxygen water or Dungeons and Dragons 3.0: they are all bad, and they will all ruin your game.
This past weekend, I led a Love Systems bootcamp in Seattle and one student asked me about the latest of these fads, which he called “natural game.” According to this, you don’t need any of the best word-for-word scripts, you don’t need the step-by-step structure from Magic Bullets, you can just go out and be yourself and have fun and women will come to you. I told him that this is what most of us were trying to do before we discovered dating science, that it didn’t work back then, and that it sure as heck won’t help new people get better now.
We teach a step-by-step approach (the innovative Love Systems Triad Model from Magic Bullets). When you have large, complex problems like “see that beautiful woman over there; get her into bed (or make her my girlfriend),” it’s really helpful to break it down into specific tasks that come one after another. First you do X, until Y happens, and then you do Z. There are only 6 steps, and only a few combinations within each, but it has simplified the lives of thousands of men worldwide and it works. And “being yourself” doesn’t help if you draw a mental blank or run out of things to say. Sure it’s easy to tell someone just to make conversation when he runs out of things to say, but when you’re talking to a Playboy Playmate lookalike and her friends are trying to drag her away and she’s looking at you expectantly to see if there’s anything more to you than a well-delivered opening line... you have to have stuff ready to go. And it has to be good.
In general, any fad that promises an easy path without putting in the work sounds – and is – too good to be true. Does this mean being “natural” is bad or impossible? Of course not. If you see bootcamp graduates out socially, they will look very relaxed and natural. But that’s because they’ve done the work to get there.
Let me explain, with reference to an all-American metaphor: baseball.
A professional baseball player can step up to the plate, stare at the pitcher, and then, with perfection and apparent ease, hit the ball perfectly for a homerun. Let’s say you are brand new to the sport of baseball. Perhaps you have never even stepped up to bat before – but you really want to learn and you spend the money and get the opportunity to train with this professional baseball player. The first thing you ask him is “How do I hit a home run?” and he explains that the best way to hit a home run is not to think about it. You need to just feel when the timing is right to hit the ball. Your mind and soul should be on autopilot, you should be one with your true self and then hitting the home run will come naturally to you.
Is he lying to you? No. That is the way he hits a home run every time. But will that advice ever help you to hit a home run? Not one darn bit. What has happened is this professional player has completely forgotten about all the years he has spent playing baseball. He forgot about the thousands of times he has been up to bat before. He forgot entirely about his learning process that has allowed him to become the natural baseball player who can effortlessly hit home runs.
It is no different with meeting and attracting women. If you haven’t had all of the success you want, going out and “being natural” isn’t going to help, no matter how many eBooks you read.
Natural game is simply how men act when they are ALREADY good with women.
You learn natural game by going out and practicing, as much as possible, for as long as possible. You practice with the best tools available – the structure and formula from Magic Bullets, personal attention on a bootcamp, etc. Natural game is learned by doing a thousand approaches and then going out and doing a thousand more. It comes from hard work, a good attitude, patterns of success and a willingness to push through some failure. It comes from making good friends who will push you, attending bootcamps and seminars and then going out and doing all of it all over again. If you do that I guarantee that you will have natural game.
People who all of a sudden “discover” natural game actually reveal more about their own dating science skills and development than they do about how to teach others. All it means is that they have gotten good enough with the basic structure and with routines that they are now able to take the training wheels off. They discover that now that they have internalized the right behaviors and intuitions from having worked with a Magic Bullets-type structure that they don’t need to slavishly follow the model anymore and can improvise.
Well, of course.
When you see me out with friends like Tenmagnet or The Don or Savoy, we’re improvising, taking advantage of possible shortcuts and so on. That’s because we’re good enough to be able to “feel” the game and be “natural,” like the baseball player in this analogy. But there’s no way that we would have gotten this good if we hadn’t had resources like the type of information that eventually found its way into Magic Bullets and the other Love Systems products. And there’s no way we’d teach without them. And whenever something goes wrong, we go straight back to the basics to troubleshoot.
There is a world of difference between being good with women and being able to teach others how to be good with women. Being able to pick up is necessary to being a good teacher, but it’s not enough. That’s why I’ve always been suspicious of guys who proclaim themselves to be gurus. If they were really gurus who could change other peoples’ lives, there’d be armies of men using their system to great results. Like the two dozen Love Systems instructors around the world, from 5’2 to 6’4, from 110lbs to 250lbs, from Europe to North America to Latin America to Asia to Australia. We all use roughly the same system, because it works.
The best way to learn natural game is to do the work necessary to get there. To make the most progress in the least amount of time, it is best to do the training and the exercises that teach you natural game. Those are following the program: scripted material, canned openers and proven attraction routines. These are time-tested, proven methods that have transformed thousands of Average Frustrated Chumps (AFCs), myself included, into real-world pick up artists and the new “naturals.”
Another error in the natural game theory, and it applies equally to our pro baseball player and to our pickup artist, is that natural game only happens when your mind and body are in state. What happens when you are nervous, tired, had a bad day at work, dog died or Marvel kills off Captain America? You aren’t in the mood to be instantly clever and charming right off the top of your head. But you sure as hell can pull out the Love Systems Routines Manual, read a couple of scripts, and then go approach. Every single time.
The few guys I know who are teaching natural game got there only after doing years of field work. Natural game comes from doing the field work. And the best way to learn the field work is to follow the system. Once you have it, natural game is a lot more fun and a lot easier in my opinion; but it is anything but natural.