October 26, 2009


Dating a Friend - A Guide to Social Circle Mastery Pt. 2

Social Circle Mastery started when Braddock and Mr. M built on the Social Circle methodology from Magic Bullets and from on Social Circle Game.  It started with a few conversations on The Lounge (a private members-only board for more personalized and advanced discussions between and among Love Systems instructors and our former bootcamp and one-on-one students), and ended up growing and growing and involving other experts and is now the Social Circle Mastery system.  It started by answering three questions, but has evolved so much further since then:

  1. How do you turn a “friend” or a woman who “just wants to be friends” into more?
  2. How do you make a social circle full of 9s and 10s instead of relying on meeting them wherever you happen to go out?
  3. How do you make the 9s and 10s who you do meet through cold approach “stick” to you socially if you don’t have time to “close the deal” that night and they might be flaky?

The – somewhat surprising – answers to these questions are very much part of the Social Circle Mastery system, but it goes far beyond that.  Today, we’re going to take it a couple of steps further with another guest article from Mr. M.

Revealing the Social Matrix – Part 2: The Hidden Formula for Social Circle Seduction

In Part 1 of ‘Revealing the Social Matrix’ – The Structure of Your Social Life, we covered some of the basics of Social Circle Mastery.  I would strongly recommend that you read that article first for a solid foundation of Social Circle theory before we move into the more complex topics below.

First up – how do you pick up in social circles?  Answer – use the same skills from Magic Bullets or a bootcamp, but apply them in a new way – the Mr. M and Braddock (MRB) 5 Elongated Seduction model (otherwise known as the Elongated Seduction Model).  This model is designed to help you hook up with women you meet through any social circle event, such as dinner parties, work events, or even random introductions.  As you can tell from the name, it’s not designed to be a lightning-fast method.  Sometimes it does work quickly, but it’s a method designed for effectiveness over speed, so it may work the same night, or it might take weeks if not a couple of months.  The time flexibility actually works to your advantage – you won’t fall into the trap of killing your value within a social circle by escalating when it’s not appropriate or the moment isn’t ripe; instead, you are likely to end up with multiple friends with benefits.

For example, I used the Elongated Seduction Model to recently close a top model who happens to be the poster girl for one of the hottest and more prestigious clubs in London.  This is me we’re talking about here – I’m about 5’3 and of Asian descent, I’m no body builder or male model.  (You can read more about my journey and biography in the special report, The Man Behind Mr. M.)  The close happened a few months after I met her through a friend.  When I first met her, the time wasn’t ripe, so I worked the model and waited until the right moment to strike.  I’ll explain how this works below.

Before I do that, a word of warning.  Before getting into Social Circle mastery, it is crucial that you have a very strong abundance mentality.  This is why Braddock and I insist that you understand dating science fundamentals before you take the Social Circle Mastery seminar.  You need to know – not pretend – that you are attractive to beautiful women and that you have succeeded with beautiful women and can easily have more.  You’ll get this from a bootcamp (and automatically qualify if you passed the end-of-bootcamp evaluation) and we occasionally take strong self-study students (usually who have thoroughly studied Magic Bullets and The Routines Manual).  If you don’t have an abundance mentality, having friendly 9s and 10s on “slow burn” will drive you crazy and you may not be able to help developing needy, attention-seeking behaviors commonly associated with “oneitis” (the unhealthy fixation on a specific woman who is not as attracted to you as you are to her).  

So, without further ado, the structure for the Elongated Seduction Model is as follows:

  1.   Neutral Rapport
  2.   Build Value
  3.   Social Circle Attraction
  4.   Sexualization
  5.   Closing

What follows is merely a summary of each phase.  It would take me too long to outline each phase in the level of depth we go into (and customize and personalize) in the Love Systems Social Circle Mastery seminars, but I won’t let that stop me from giving you enough that you can use if you’re not going to be able to attend one of our amazing events.

1. Neutral Rapport

When you first meet someone through your social circle, you want to be emotionally neutral.  Think normal, friendly, conversation instead of state-pumping routines.  This neutral-rapport process lasts for a minute or two at most.  

As Savoy emphasized in Chapter 12 of Magic Bullets, social circle introductions put you all the way into the Attraction phase of the Triad Model.  You don’t need to Approach, and you don’t need to Transition and because of this, you don’t need to “break the ice,” “cut through the clutter,” or “be different than the last 5,000 guys who approached her.”  You already are different.  You’re a friend of one of her friends.

In fact, if a friend of yours did introduce you to a beautiful woman and you jumped in with one of the many opinion openers from the The Routines Manual Volume 1 or Volume 2 or even a state-pumping direct opener, you would likely come across as “try hard” or “the weird pick up guy” or otherwise socially awkward.  The book Magic Bullets identifies eight key attraction switches that most women will be attracted to, and one of these is Social Intuition.  Unless you really know what you’re doing, anything other than friendly conversation and neutral rapport when you are first introduced to someone through a social circle will brand as socially awkward.  And, as Savoy puts it, “ beautiful women run from social awkwardness the way most people run from hand grenades .”  So be “cool” when you are introduced to someone.  Don’t worry about conveying value.  Keep it simple.  Start with something like “Hey, what’s up?” when introduced to someone.  Or “Hi, I’m [name].”  In the first minute or so of conversation, stick to normal, neutral conversation like:

  •   “Are you here for [x’s] birthday?”
  •   “How do you guys know each other?”
  •   “What do you do?”
  •   “I think I know you through [x person] as well.”

You can even throw in some very light teasing, but limit it.  Think “normal and cool.” You are not trying to build comfort, demonstrate your value, break rapport, or anything else.

After about a minute or two, disengage from the conversation.  Unlike cold approach, you have a pretty good idea where she’ll be later (in your combined social group) so sticking to her like a man on a life raft isn’t necessary.  In fact, it will make you seem needy and, again, display a lack of Social Intuition.  So disengage.  (After the first couple of minutes is when you should turn to focus on the “gatekeeper” of her time and of the social circle in general – this is an important concept in Social Circle Mastery and one I hope to get to in a future article.)

2. Build Value

Like I was saying above, when you meet someone in your social circle, you are straight into the Attraction phase of the Emotional Progression Model.  Once you’ve passed through the introductions, it’s time to get the woman you want attracted to you.  

Creating attraction is based on the same underlying principles of social dynamics and female psychology whether she’s a stranger in a coffee shop or a friend or a friend. Attraction is based on value.  If you have enough value (“enough” usually meaning “more than she thinks she has”) she will become attracted to you.  The link between value and attraction is very well broken down in Future interview with Tenmagnet.

What every woman values in a man is slightly different, but you’re not stuck guessing what it is that will interest a particular woman – one of the breakthroughs of the book Magic Bullets (Chapter 3, Female Psychology) is there are eight key factors that attract virtually any women, and all of them can be demonstrated to her no matter what your age, background, or looks.  I’m not going to have time to go through all eight of them in the context of social circles, but I did want to pull out a couple, so that if you’re not able to make it to the seminar, you have a sense of how to think about value in a social circle context.

  1. Pre-selection: Pre-selection refers to the process by which a woman perceives that other women of equal or higher value are interested in a man and becomes more interested in him herself.  A woman will feel this especially acutely in a social circle situation.  Having other women in the group attracted to you is gold, as long as it looks like they are doing so under their own terms, not because you are hitting on them.  However, if your skills aren’t up to this yet, you can create the illusion of pre-selection by regularly meeting other women and using body language and body positioning to imply to observers that they are chasing you.   Magic Bullets explains the concept of “locking in”, which is crucial to this.  Use jealousy to your advantage.  I’m going to skip over a detailed discussion of jealousy because it was covered so well by Braddock, Cajun, and Tenmagnet in their interview on Jealousy Plotlines.  If you haven’t yet, I’d recommend that you listen to the first 10 minutes for free, or download the interview for $39.97 and be up to speed on advanced jealousy plotlines in about an hour.

  2. Status: Social Status is not a constant thing.  You might be of lowish status when you first walk alone into a bar where you don’t know anyone, but if the doorman, manager, owner, bartender, and high-value customers all acknowledge you, you will have what Magic Bullets calls “relative social status.”  In social circle game, we call it situational status to emphasize its fleeting nature.  Situational status also arises in any situation where you are the gatekeeper to the situation.  Having situational status means that people act well towards you because in that situation, you have high value.  You can achieve this by throwing your own party, organizing an event, being the coach of a team, being one of the dominant members of a social group, and so on.  Relative status is a great tool in cold approach, but a crucial one in social circle game.

All of the other six attraction switches from Magic Bullets still apply in Social Circle game.  Additionally, in social circles, it is important to provide the group with good emotions, social status within and without the group (demonstration of alliances), being able to lead, and so on.  We cover these secondary attraction switches in the Social Circle Mastery course, but if you’re not able to make it, this will hopefully get you started.

3. Social Circle Attraction

This is related to value. In social circles, it also has a lot to do with being the most fun and interesting guy in the social situation and controlling the RAS (Reticular Activation System – an advanced concept we talk about in the Social Circle Mastery which is about how to control a person’s attention).

Traditional techniques to create attraction (e.g. cocky & funny, teasing, disqualification, etc.) should be used, but one of the key differences between social circle pickup and cold approach is that Emotional Momentum (as defined in Magic Bullets) is much more forgiving with social circles.  In cold approach, when you meet a woman, the interaction could theoretically end at any moment and she has no reason to talk to you the minute she is no longer stimulated.  So we keep the emotional momentum pushing straight ahead until she is so invested in the interaction (usually after Qualification, the fourth stage of the Emotional Progression Model) that we can afford to move to more natural peaks and valleys in the Comfort phase.  

In Social Circle, she is going to talk to you and interactions aren’t likely to end suddenly with no chance to pick them back up again later.  So you can more easily mix fun attraction material with periods of qualification and comfort without her getting distracted or losing Emotional Momentum.  In addition, you should definitely not always be focused on her when the two of you are around each other.  In between attraction material, let her see you interacting with other people.  Remember Observed and Told DHVs from Magic Bullets?  Social Circle interactions are an amazing place to make these happen.  Rather than you having to subtly slip in information about your good qualities in normal conversation with a woman, you have ample opportunities for your and her friends to be telling her about these and why she should be interested in you.  If you’ve kept up with our new models of female psychology, you’ll know how powerful this can be.  

4. Sexualization

This is a crucial step.  It only occurs once she has given you indicators that she is attracted to you.  If she hasn’t, keep cycling between the first three steps above until she does.  Social Circle pickups can be a bit slower and occasionally more random than cold approach.  This ‘cycling’ process is one of the main features of this model, which can go over a period of weeks if not months in hard cases.

Once you have these indicators of attraction ( Magic Bullets has a list of dozens of things women do when they are attracted, but you probably know the basics by now... touching her hair, laughing at your jokes, staying with you when her friends go off to the bathroom or another part of where you are at, and so on), you can start to sexualize.

Sexualization includes decreasing the personal space between you, making and holding intense eye contact, glancing between her eyes and her lips when talking, and sexualizing the conversation (e.g. “your hair smells really fucking good” after talking to her next to her ear or “you look incredibly sexy in that dress”).  A lot of this is subtle, and should not be apparent to others in the social circle.  Discretion is the key here, which is where sexualization blends into MRB5 – closure.

5. Closing 

This phase relates to the process of escalating, isolating and closing.  It is not dissimilar to normal cold approach escalation and closing, but it’s much more important to set discretion frames.  If you’re unused to frame-setting, it’s an advanced tactic covered in the bootcamps, but you can also get up to speed with Frame Control from the Advanced Interview Series by Sinn and Savoy.

You also need to get her into what we call a sexual situation – when you’re alone with her, past the Comfort phase of the Emotional Progression Model, somewhere where sex could reasonably happen.  Don’t appear like you are working hard on logistics, but this often does take some planning.  There are some real-life case studies of this in Chapter 12 (Social Circles) of Magic Bullets.

The great thing is, if you can do ‘sexualization’ properly, then you create insane amounts of sexual tension because you both want to hook up, but can’t due to the social situation.  This is, counter-intuitively, an ideal situation.  You should be able to feel the sexual tension build in this case.  Logistically, all that is left is to get her alone.  In fact, a variation of this, which is explored more thoroughly in the Social Circle Mastery seminar, is not to escalate until you both get to the seduction location.

That concludes the second article in the ‘Revealing the Social Matrix’ articles.

Mr. M is a lead instructor with Love Systems based in London.  With Braddock, he is the creator of the Love Systems Social Circle Mastery program, receiving rave reviews around the world.

Related Posts

Nick Savoy
Nick Savoy


Leave a comment

Comments will be approved before showing up.