October 25, 2009


Chris Shepherd (aka Tenmagnet) on Winging

In Miami recently, the day before our bootcamp started, I was sitting on the beach with a beautiful girl I had met at the Delano a few hours earlier. It was really a perfect moment; the sun had set, but the sand was still warm and a cool breeze came off the ocean. The lights from a dozen boats off the coastline formed a little constellation, and everything was quiet except for the sound of the waves on the shore.

"Do you know what I thought was really cute about you?" the girl from the Delano said, "I liked the way you and Mike were such good friends. It's how I knew you were really good guys."

That statement really made me think, and I've realized that having a good wingman (someone you go out with to meet women) is one of the best things you can do for your game, and being a good wingman is one of the best things you can do for your friends.

So, I put together some thoughts on winging. They are by no means comprehensive (I can go on for hours about this), but it gives you a taste of what it means to be a good wing.

Hang out with your wingman outside of bars – the reason that I wing so well with the other Love Systems guys is because we have a ton of fun experiences together. When we go out, we tell girls about the mugging in March, our crazy friend in Miami, and that wild night in February – it makes us real and engaging. So, take your wingman camping, go to the park, or do something, anything that could make a good story!

Have inside jokes – this kind of relates to the point above. Guys who hang out together always wind up developing inside jokes over time. For example, in the middle of a conversation with girls, I'll cut the conversational thread and say "gggr-rrr-respect" (an inside joke between the instructors and I), and my wingman and I will break out laughing. This intrigues (and confuses) the girls, and the story behind our inside joke is a fun story in itself that demonstrates good qualities about us.

Say good things about your wingman – you can get away with so much more bragging about your wingman than you can about yourself. When you introduce your wingman, tell the group about him. For example, "this is one of my best buddies, Mike. He is literally one of the most talented actors I have met, and is working on a screenplay that will make Wedding Crashers look like Ishtar."

Your wingman is always cooler than any women you are meeting. If a woman makes fun of your wingman, roll your eyes at her. When your wingman teases her back, laugh and nod your head. After all, what kind of guy would disrespect his longtime friend just to impress some girl he met in a bar?

Remember guys, one of the key "switches" that make a woman find you attractive is being a Leader of Men. Having good friends that respect you and treat you the way you deserve is a key element of this.

For more tips, check out our interview with Savoy and The Don on Advanced Winging.

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