This is a question I got from a live workshop student and I'm answering it here with his permission. What can I do to attract women?
Dahunter, It's XX from the recent LA workshop(you know, the guy who people kept opening because they thought I was my brother who's on TV). So I've been practicing like crazy ever since the event, and I'm really beginning to develop my own style. I remember that you were especially skilled at immediately transitioning from an opener to banter/qualifying. I was really impressed with how you were already qualifying with them within the first 5 seconds.
I was hoping that you could give me your basic structure of the first few minutes of an interaction. Maybe give me an example of your favorite opener, then the woman's response, then some bantering/qualifying lines that follow naturally, then the few routines you go quickly into, and the banter lines that easily follow. I remember you used strawberry fields, so maybe you could give me the easy banter lines to use that naturally and follow from a woman's response to the routine. Thanks a lot Dahunter, this will help me out a ton. One of my weak points has always been getting quickly into an bantering/qualifying frame, and since that seemed to be your strength this would help me out a ton. Look forward to hearing from you, > XX
The best way to transition, in my experience, is a cold read. Others use different transitions, and occasionally I do as well, but as a standard I will do a cold read. It's usually something lighthearted and funny, and it's basically just telling them my first impression of them or running the best friends test.
The thing that I do that I consciously worked on is that I talk down to a woman in a playful way in the beginning. The things that I say come out of nowhere. I don't have a logical reason to bust out with something like "are you giving me shit?" It absolutely makes no sense yet I say it in a loud way, 100% congruent, and in a very assertive manner so there's not one ounce of doubt in my mind that it will work, and that is the key.
It's not so much about practicing the lines as it is practicing the delivery. What I would suggest would be to grab one common theme for teasing like the "are you giving me shit?" line and practice it until you have it polished.
Other lines I use in combination with "are you giving me shit?" are:
These are lines that I use, with great success. So, commit to learn all of these, and master the delivery.
For example, a set of mine will go like this:
"Hmm, you guys are funny (with a conspicuous look on my face). This is my first impression of you guys:"
Point to the first.
"You seem like you're the mother of the group; you're probably the one that takes care of all of them."
Point to the next.
"You seem like you're the shit starter; you're probably the champion at any drinking game between you guys."
Point to the last.
"And you, you're like the quiet one."
Her inevitable reply:
"I'm not the quiet one!"
You respond with:
"Oh, now she talks. Are you giving me shit?" (You're challenging her, like asking "are you a tough girl?")
At this point I would either assess the situation to see if I need more attraction or if she starts asking me questions. Usually you don't need that much, but sometimes I'll ask a question like "so who are you anyways?" because they'll usually ask "who are you!?"
What I want to do is bait her so she keeps asking me questions. To do this I use lots of canned open loops, always around the same topics. For example, right now I'm in Atlanta so I will say "I love Atlanta; every time I'm here I have such a good time." The automatic question this provokes is "where are you from?"
I will say "I wasn't born there, but I live in Chicago." This will then bait her to ask "so where were you born?"
For all of these responses I have built in examples of my positive qualities that trigger attraction in a pretty predictable rate, and this is why my attraction game is so tight.
So, the key to perfecting your attraction game is to have a general theme for your banter, such as "we're going to fight" or "I'm the popular one, you're the nerd" or "you're so into me it's obvious." Then, throw in all these funny lines back and forth with her until she's invested so much that she becomes attracted to you. Again, borrow the lines I gave you above and polish those until you have the delivery right and then you can come up with new ones of your own.
Once she's attracted she will start asking you question that you will predictably get over and over, so prepare all your pre-canned responses to all those questions with open loops and more positive things about yourself, and then mix it up with some playful future projections. Do that and before you know it you'll have a woman who is completely into you in no time.
To read more, check out Chapter 7: Attraction in Magic Bullets.
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