November 07, 2007


Confidence and Leadership

By Badboy

Everyone knows how important inner game is, but have you ever stopped to ask yourself what inner game actually is? Is it simply when you've memorized material very well or maybe when you've perfected the delivery of your voice?

Actually, inner game is based on confidence, beliefs, and your overall attitude about life. Whether you realize it or not, your attitude is constantly projected to the women you talk to. If you have a strong, assertive, and positive attitude, women will naturally be attracted to you. That's how most naturals get women. They develop these three aspects of their identity: confidence, beliefs, and attitude. When this happens, they begin to feel more confident and they start to behave like they're the prize, which is exactly what attracts women.

People in general love leaders, especially women. Leaders are naturally attractive because they radiate confidence and are not overly concerned with outside criticism. They know exactly what they want and focus their energies on achieving their goals. Becoming a leader and making people follow you and even respect you are essential steps to leading a successful life.

The first observation is that charisma does not exist. People do not know how to describe something that is intangible, so they say a person "has charisma," or "is a charismatic person." If you take the time to observe charismatic people, you will see that they actually have one major quality in common. They have a frame (or point of view) so strong that people are sucked into their reality. Everything they do reflects an ultra-strong frame that exists inside their individual reality. They tend to have a lot of rules that you must follow when you are around them. They treat themselves with integrity and they absolutely will not tolerate disrespect; in fact they punish it.

You can apply these characteristics to your own life. They are actually core lessons for living successfully on this planet. Let's take respect for example: How do you ensure that the people around you show respect for you and your work?

First, start to respect yourself and your work too. When you start to respect yourself completely, other people will respect you as well. If you don't respect yourself, why in the world would anyone else respect you? If you treat yourself poorly, trust me, other people will do the same because you are sending a strong signal to the world that you aren't worth anything.

Next, you must develop a set of unwavering rules in your life that define what people can and cannot do around you or to you. You must punish any negative behavior that reflects poorly upon your integrity. Tell the offenders you disapprove, and make it crystal clear that they cannot behave like that if they want to be in your company. Make them know that they did something that you do not respect. If people treat you badly and you let them get away with it, they will do it again and again. Other people will see this and learn to disrespect you also. Make personal boundaries for yourself and make it clear to the people around you that these boundaries must be respected. Humans are social pack animals, meaning they will accept the strongest frame presented to them.

For example, if my girlfriend flakes on me, of course I will be pissed off, but I will show her that I am angry and will calmly state that it will not happen again. For everything that she does that I do not like, I tell her she can do it only three times: the first time, the last time and never again! My rules are strict. People will enjoy the time they spend with me. In return, I will do everything I can for their happiness. I will teach them and have fun with them, but there are some rules you must follow. Otherwise you won't see me ever again.

I also make options for myself so that you are not my only choice and I can go out with someone else if I so choose. For now, even if you don't have any other options, make it seem like you do. Behave like you do. I am going to do everything for my women. I love them and will treat them like queens, but only as long as I think they deserve it. It is funny to see how, when women don't get what they want, they call me a jerk. They may not like my rules, but they will respect me if I stick to them.

Take a look at the police. They have strict rules. Break them and you'll get punished, and trust me, you won't make the same mistake again in your life. I want you to do the same in your own life. Let people around you know what is allowed and what is not. Otherwise nobody is going to respect you. It's funny, but people will test you from time to time to see if you are still congruent with your frame. That's why I say that these tests are not problematic. As long as you are congruent with your frame, such tests are a non-issue. Women will challenge you all the time when you are seducing them. That's just normal behavior.

My best friend has this cute little dog. The pet knows that it is not allowed to sleep on the sofa because he got his ass kicked a few times, and still months later he comes near the sofa with his cute little look. He glances at the sofa, then his owner, the sofa, the owner, just waiting for a reaction. He might even put one leg close to the sofa, the whole time looking at his owner.

What the dog is actually doing is testing his owner to see if he is still congruent with his rule about sleeping on the sofa. Is he going to allow him to jump on the sofa or is he going to yell at him? The dog is not disobeying its owner, just making sure he is still congruent. Children will test you in the same way. Every couple of days, or even hours, they will challenge you to see if the rules have weakened or changed. You can observe this behavior everywhere in nature.

Now, let's get back to charismatic people. It's funny, but the more rules charismatic people have, and the more they punish those who break their rules, the more charismatic they appear. Examples include Christ, Gandhi, the Dalai Lama, and Martin Luther King. Being assertive does not make you good or evil. It gives you power, and you choose how to use it.

Strong leaders issue commands and demand unquestioning loyalty. Challenging their ideas is strongly condemned and often leads to some type of emotional or physical punishment. With women, you give them pleasure and show them a really nice time when they are with you, but you must also remember to punish any negative behavior or disrespect from them.

So, the first step towards developing confidence, belief, and attitude is to start respecting yourself! If you have ever gone out with me, you will have noticed something really unusual: as soon as I approach a group, I am not sucked into its frame. I do not live in their world. You will see that they live in my world. How do you see this? When I approach any group of people, I don't position myself so that the whole group can hear me, and I certainly don't try to yell so that the whole group can hear me.

First, I position myself in the most comfortable position, where I feel the most relaxed. Then I reorganize the other people around me in a way I like. For example, I approach them, let them welcome me, sit down, and use the space around me to make myself comfortable. Then, I might position the extra people to talk to each other, while the target is left to talk to me. This behavior is not something I modeled or learned, but its been a part of my personality for a long time.

I really can't stand people who have a weak frame. For example, I hate to see guys fall into a situation like this: A guy sits in a chair, maybe one that is totally uncomfortable like the letter "S," and he stays there for hours pretending he is relaxed without saying a word about it. He would rather sit there no matter what because the chair is more important than who he is. He makes it more important than his health or his body. This is really sad. Why should I be in an uncomfortable position when I talk to some average frustrated woman. What is she to me?

You will always see me in the most comfortable position you can imagine, while I'm in a group or anywhere in life. Why? For a few reasons: You can't be nervous when you are in a relaxed position. You must feel cool. People will see you as a socially cool guy. More importantly, your voice is going to be deeper and more relaxed, so that people will start to lean in to hear you. If you drop your voice down when they can't hear you, they will start to lean in and pay more attention to your lips in order to understand what you are saying. Looking at someone's lips for ten minutes is really sexual.


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