You've Got feMAIL - The Medium Checks Out The Gentleman's Guide to Online Dating by Cajun

You’ve got femail

Amir Ahmed | January 23, 2012

Let’s say I saw a pretty girl on Facebook. She’s a friend of a friend, into books, alternative music, and vintage dresses. In other words, she likes all the stuff I do (vintage dresses flatter my gams). To top it off, she’s funny. She’s charming. She’s exactly the type of girl I’d like to ask out. And I’ll never get to. We don’t know each other in the real world, and so we’ll never know each other at all.

Doesn’t seem fair, does it?

It’s hard to build a connection online, and even harder to actually attract women on a dating site. Even if a guy meets his hypothetical Coupland-reading, Arkells-listening, flower print dress-wearing Wonder Woman on a dating site, he’ll still wonder what to say, how to act, and what to do to actually get the girl.

That’s probably why Love Systems is releasing The Gentleman’s Guide to Online Dating, a guide to meeting and seducing women online.

Love Systems is a dating coach, a company offering training sessions, books, and videos—all aimed at teaching men how to attract women. The company was founded by Nick Savoy, a member of the “Toronto Crew” featured in Neil Strauss’ The Game.

The Gentleman’s Guide is one of a long lineup of Love Systems products. The company, buoyed by pop culture’s interest in pickup artists and the seduction community, now teaches in every imaginable area of seduction, including phone seduction, daytime seduction, and even how to seduce strippers. The book is authored by Derek “Cajun”, a professional dating coach with Love Systems. Cajun teaches dating classes worldwide and has appeared in Keys to the VIP.

Cajun began experimenting with online dating a few years ago. Using the rigorous, rigorous approach that defines pickup artists, this man went on a lot of dates using online dating. These experiments culminated in The Gentleman’s Guide.

The book builds on a lot of research, something common to the general “seduction community”. In an interview with The Medium, Cajun said the rigour doesn’t come from scientific zeal, but from the desire to get the advice right. “If I give advice, I want it to be accurate. We want to give the best information.”

In search of more data, Cajun even created fake female accounts on popular dating sites to see what messages men usually sent women. It wasn’t impressive stuff.

“I was getting 34 messages a day,” Cajun said. “And 90% of them were complete shit. Stuff like ‘Hey, sup?’”

A lengthy chapter in The Gentleman’s Guide instructs that men should send playful, casual messages, and disassembles the construction of the perfect email.

And the advice does not end there. The book pretty much covers every aspect of finding and attracting a girl online, from how to make a charming opener to how to transition comfortably into a more serious relationship. If you’re interested in learning more check out The Gentleman’s Guide.

In the meantime, Cajun has some general advice for the men who want to pursue online dating. “The best advice is the simplest here,” he says: have some good pictures, put time into your profile—and have a good life outside of the Internet.

Check out the article at The Medium.

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