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Last Minute Resistance (LMR)

Last minute resistance (LMR) happens when things seem to be going well with a woman, you get back to the bedroom and... she doesn’t want to take that last step. Last minute resistance will happen to everyone once in a while, but if it’s happening to you more than that, it’s time to take action. Most cases of last minute resistance are solvable.

But not all cases of last minute resistance come from the same place. Like you might get the “I hardly known you” or “you’re just trying to hook up” objection. If that’s what’s happening, then the problem likely happened before you brought her to the bedroom. Usually you didn’t build up enough qualification or comfort first. Especially if she says something like, "I bet you do this all the time," that means that she is plenty attracted to you, but she isn’t convinced that you value her. Next time around, spend a bit more time making her work for your interest, telling her specifically what you like about her when you compliment her (and not just on her looks!).

If there’s not going to be a next time with her, there are things that might help turn things around that night. For one thing, don’t keep pushing. The more you keep pushing, the more she’s going to dig in. Act like her resistance is no big deal - you want to come across as a man who is sexual, sure, and passionate for her, but not obsessed with getting laid or pushy or desperate. Don’t sulk - that’s even worse. Just say, "OK, sure," and do something else. She will likely be surprised that you gave up so easily and want you to keep trying. You can start touching her again in a few minutes, and see where it goes from there. If she stops you at the same point where you stopped you last time, then you haven’t made progress, but if she lets you get a little further or go for a little longer, then you are.

One thing that is key here is to withdraw all the way back to zero. Just because her ideal night (and the furthest she will go) is to spend the night cuddling and making out and feeling how bad you want her, but not going all the way, doesn’t mean that you are responsible for providing this. Just because you might want sex does not mean you have to take whatever it is she offers that is as close as possible to sex. Don’t be sulky, but feel free to meet determined last minute resistance (when combined with “why don’t we just lie here and make out”) with a “because then I’m going to really want you... I’m very passionate for you... I’m fine with waiting and not being pushy, it’s no big deal, but it’s definitely going to leave me frustrated making out with you all night so let’s hang out in front of the TV instead” [or something along those lines].

There’s also the concept of token resistance. This is when a woman says no to mean “I don’t want you to think I’m easy, so I’m going to say no the first few times until I give in.” No always means no, even if you’re sure she means not yet. Just stop and re-initiate after a few minutes. (“No” doesn’t mean you can’t try again later.) After a couple of these, if it’s truly token resistance, then her objections will vanish. Alternatively, whip it out. I’m serious. Unzip your pants. Put her hand on you. That often melts objections (again no means no so don’t force her if she doesn’t want to).

It can also help early on - before you get her home - to set a sexualized frame. For example: "You are sooo sexy, if you are still talking to me in ten seconds, we are going to make out." Then follow through. Or, “we could never be left alone,” followed by a sly grin.

Finally, don’t underestimate the value of sleeping for a few hours, especially if you met in a bar or club and there’s been alcohol, fast food, and a late night. Sometimes she just needs to sleep a bit before she’s ready.

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