I got one of our rapid escalation and one night stand experts (who goes by the name "Dahunter") to talk about one of the most powerful techniques we use and teach on our PUA bootcamps – called sexual hoops.
There are three kinds of hoops we use in Love Systems. Use these once you get some attraction going:
1. Exaggerated/Unrealistic sexual hoops
The first hoops should be clearly not 100% serious. It's like a cartoonish illustration of you having sex with her; it's supposed to be funny, a little bit out there, but not enough so she could say anything about it. In other words, it's a joke that happens to convey your intentions in a socially-appropriate way:
DAHUNTER: I haven't told you this but I'm a master at the hidden arts of kama sutra
HER: hahaha what?
DAHUNTER: Yeah, did you see the girls that were following me earlier? They're the girls that I've slept with, they follow me everywhere; they just can't get enough. It's kind of annoying but I don't blame them, once you go Dahunter, you never go back.
DAHUNTER: See those girls? They’re my wives. That one there in particular is crazy in bed. She doesn’t look all that but under the sheets she’s freaky.
These hoops make your intentions clear, but they avoid a potentially awkward and state-killing pause by quickly disqualifying and “releasing” the tension.
It’s similar to the Qualification process. In qualification, you help her “win you over” and then you give a big compliment…but “release” the tension with a disqualifier. Qualification is covered very well in Magic Bullets and even better in a couple of my favorite interviews – Qualification and the more advanced Issues in Qualification.
For sexual hoops, the disqualifier should push her away just a little bit.
DAHUNTER: Just so you know, I'm going to try to hook up with you, you should run away, you're too nice, I would just do bad things to you.
HER: I'm not too nice!
But without a disqualifier, here’s what it would sound like:
DAHUNTER (WITHOUT LOVE SYSTEMS): Just so you know, I'm going to try to hook up with you
HER: Well you can try, but I don't know how far you'll get
Here are some better examples of sexualization with a release:
DAHUNTER: You know, you’re kind of cool. Like how you [insert] and even if I wasn’t trying to get into your pants, I still think it’d be cool to hang out with you.
DAHUNTER: You know, I'm gonna try to hook up with you, you should go that way
DAHUNTER: You know, you should really get away from me. I’m bad news.
DAHUNTER: Because if you stay any longer, I’m going to try hook up with you.
DAHUNTER: You’re hot… do you have a sister that I can hit on?
3. Fantasy hoops
Once you’ve got through the first two hoops, you can test the ground on common deep (but usually unspoken) female sexual fantasies – usually involving being dominated or ravished. This will only work if you’ve done your work with the smaller first two hoops and if the vibe is “on”.
In contrast to the direct sexual hoops, here the disqualifiers will be softer, but with occasional harder disqualifiers thrown in to keep things interesting.
At this point your disqualifiers are still going to be there, but they're going to be softer disqualifiers, followed by the occasional hard disqualifier that throws her off.
DAHUNTER: I’m going to ruin you for all men.
DAHUNTER: Because I can’t stop thinking about doing bad things to you.
DAHUNTER: I would so take you home and ravish you so hard, you wouldn't be able to walk straight for the next couple days...
HER: (Visualizing what you just said)
DAHUNTER: Oh my God, what are you doing to me, I'm a nice person, I can't do this, I want to be a virgin until I get married
DAHUNTER: You know what I would do to you, I would put your legs over here (signaling on her shoulders), I would get on top of you and completely dominate you while I was taking you really hard.
HER: (Absorbing your comment)
DAHUNTER: Oh no, wait, I'm not that easy. I gotta go; I don't know what you're doing to me but I better go get a drink or something.
DAHUNTER: (Starts to walk away... interrupts himself and comes back)
DAHUNTER: Ok, come with me, let's get a drink, but let's be good, I don't know why but I'm just drawn to you for some reason... stop trying to seduce me, I want to be a priest one day; I can't have sex.
If you do the hoops correctly, she will be turned on and a same-night encounter is on the agenda.
You took her through the first hoop, which is playful sexual introduction, and she accepted it.
You took her through the second hoop, which is grounding your sexual intentions to reality and showing her that you’re “for real”, and she accepted it.
Then you took her through the last hoop, and you played on her fantasies and got her really turned on (and did some push/pull), and she accepted the frame.
So what’s next?
Solving logistics and getting her home of course. That’s a whole topic in itself (and there’s a great interview that is SPECIFICALLY focused on getting her home) on Logistics: Taking Her Home.
One of the great things about the Love Systems Triad is it forces you to deal with logistics before they become bad. You DO NOT want to be the guy at the end of the night standing in the parking lot when her friends are waiting for her saying “so, um, do you want to do something now?” That guy does not get the girl.
The Logistics and Taking Her Home interview covers this in a lot of detail, so I’ll just add one of my personal favorites. In the middle of the conversation, find something cool that you could invite her to do afterwards. Pictures of your most recent trip, a set of turntables, it doesn’t matter. All you need to do is give her an “excuse” to leave with you without introducing the logical state break of “are we going to have sex?” Even if you know she wants to…
(Avoiding state breaks is the key to seduction – the Avoid/Blur/Distract model to avoiding state breaks is in Chapter 10 (Seduction) of the book Magic Bullets.