In this issue:
- New - Meet and attract the women you want at 2010 holiday parties
- Proven text messages to get the girl; Getting makeouts at the club but not dates?; What are the “basics” of dating and attraction?
Happy Holidays from Love Systems!
Let’s get straight to the mailbag – there are some crucial questions in there about meeting and attracting beautiful women at holiday parties this year.
Are Christmas and holiday parties good places to meet women? Do you have any special advice for these? I have trouble approaching women I don’t know and I don’t want to make an ass of myself around people who I do know.
-Cameron F., Evansville, IN
Holiday parties are GREAT places to meet women. People are happy and social, and single women want to meet men. Women you won’t normally meet during the year still go out during the holidays. And there are lots of parties.
In other words, it’s easier. There’s more variety. And the quality is higher. What more could a man want?
For you, with “approach anxiety” one benefit of parties is they make it easier to start conversations with women. At parties, people are SUPPOSED to meet each other. It’s not like a coffee shop (where people might be busy) or a nightclub (where people pretend they are not there to meet each other). Some of my best holiday pickups have started with:
“Hi, I’m Savoy. How do you know [name of the host]?”
Or, even better, get your friends to help. At parties, most people are connected in some way, so find someone who knows that hot girl you want and get them to introduce you. Done.
A couple tips to make approaching at parties even easier:
- Never be alone for more than a few seconds. It’s bad enough to be by yourself at a nightclub, but at a party it’s a social kiss of death. Plus, people at parties are connected and talk to each other. Make a great impression on those random people early in the night and you might find out later that night that one of them is the brother of the hot girl you’re trying to take home. Makes everything a lot easier, doesn’t it?
- Don’t go into a party “cold.” Put yourself in an outgoing, talkative mood first – ideally by going to the party with people, or, if you’re going alone, stop by a bar or restaurant on the way and do some “warm up” approaches. It’s tough to avoid being awkward if you just dump yourself into a big social situation when you haven’t been talking to people.
- Start with a bunch of short 5-10 minute conversations at the beginning of the night, instead of a couple of long, intense ones. Try to meet everyone at the beginning. That will make women more interested in you. Women love to compete for a man’s attention and women like men who are well-connected and have social intelligence. Once you’ve met everyone, re-initiate conversations with the women who most caught your attention.
Good luck, and happy holidays,
My brother recommended the Love Systems interview series to me a while ago, and I’m hooked. I’ve been a subscriber for almost a year and I get the old volumes for anything that is holding me back. I’ve listened to your interviews on Social Circles and on “Warm Approach” and they’ve helped me a lot, but what would be really useful would be an interview that just goes through the differences between nightclub game and party game. I know that I, and a lot of my friends who are also subscribers, would really appreciate this!
-Christopher P., Brighton, U.K.
I agree – despite being the most affordable Love Systems product at less than $1 per day, the interview series is actually among the very best ways to improve your success with women. A lot of Love Systems instructors, who are among the best in the world at dating and attracting beautiful women, swear by the interview series as being crucial to them achieving the life that they want.
As for your question about parties vs. nightclubs – we probably won’t do an interview on it, so I’ll give you some pointers right here.
(We try to make our interviews like the magic pills from The Matrix – you want to learn how to approach, or pick up “9s” and “10s” or even how to create a powerful voice and tonality - you download, listen a few times, and get a new skill... So, we don’t usually cover “theoretical” subjects like Day Game vs. Night Game or Parties vs. Clubs.)
For the holiday season, here are some key ways that a party is different from a nightclub:
- How You Dress – At a club, it’s okay to stand out a bit. You don’t want to look ridiculous like those guys who wear leotards and capes to the nightclub (they exist!). That gets attention, but it’s not sexual attention. But at a nightclub, you can and should have one interesting item as part of your outfit so a woman has an “excuse” to come talk to you. At a party, just look good, fashionable, and in a way that supports your identity. In other words, dial it down.
- Approaching and starting conversations - Like I talked about earlier, “hi” is usually a good enough opener for a party. Not a nightclub – at least not until you’ve got really powerful body language, confidence, and non-verbal communication.
- Risk/reward and taking chances - If a woman doesn’t like you at a club, it’s no big deal. Find another part of the club. You’ll never see these people again, so you can take risks. At a party, assume that everyone sees everything. If they don’t see it, they will hear about it and talk about it. At a party, Social Intelligence is more important than Confidence.
Must-Have Tips & Techniques From the Forums
- Review “the basics” – there’s a new “read this first” section of The Attraction Forums with dating advice, videos, and more. [LINK]
- Getting a lot of makeouts in clubs, but no dates – what is he doing right? What is he doing wrong? [LINK]
- Big list of text messages - there are great ones and bad ones in here; this isn’t the like the Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game book where you can take text messages straight from the book and use them to get the girl. With these, you need to think about them first, but still great for helping you come up with the perfect text message of your own! [LINK]
Have a great time over the holiday season!
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