Of course, parties, alcohol, and the holidays make it a great night to take someone home. But it’s also a great night to gather phone numbers and make dates.
EVERYONE goes out on New Year’s Eve. Even women who don’t normally go to bars and clubs. This is your chance to meet them.
So in this letter, I’m going to give away three of my PERSONAL secrets on how to make New Year’s Eve your night.
1. Love Systems insider tip #1 -- Draw People to You
You’ll probably go to one party or one club and stay there at least until midnight. If you’re spending lots of time in one place, most women will see you, observe you, and JUDGE you -- well before you even approach them.
That’s makes “social proof” so important.
Social proof is about how people see OTHER people reacting to you. If everyone around me is laughing and having a great time and hanging on my every word, I have social proof. Women notice and get interested – before I even look at them.
But a guy by himself, or with people who look like they don’t have a lot of social value – women also notice that and get turned off – before the guy even looks at them.
One of the funny things about being a world expert in dating beautiful women is that people think that I go out and do the hardest and most difficult pickups imaginable.
Most of the time, that’s not true. Sure, if there’s someone I’m really interested in and there are a lot of obstacles, I’ll use every ounce of Love Systems skills to get the girl. But most of the time, what I do is EASIER than what most guys do.
And one of the ways I do this is through social proof. Even if I go out alone, I’ll spend the first twenty minutes building massive social proof at the venue before I start approaching the women I’m interested in.
In my downloadable eBook Magic Bullets (what people in the community call “the Bible of seduction”), I give away a bunch of tried-and-true ways to create social proof that anyone can use. Here’s one:
- When you are talking to a woman or a group of people, slowly move yourself or them so that you are leaning back, against a wall, facing the room, while she/they are facing you and the wall. Even if you’re just talking about the weather, to everyone else it will look like a group of people hanging on your every word. And hot women like men like that. A lot. ()
There are a thousand little things like this that you can do to create social proof. Just as important as making the game easier is not making it HARDER.
At the last Orlando bootcamp – a bootcamp is where we take a handful of men and train them LIVE on picking up beautiful women – there was a guy who was convinced that he just “couldn’t” attract women, and he didn’t understand why.
He was using routines (what to say) straight out of the Love Systems Routines Manual and had decent skills with the building blocks of attraction – humor, teasing, push-pull, and so on. So we knew that wasn’t the problem.
The answer came just 10 minutes into the “infield” part of the bootcamp (there’s a “seminar” part that is 3 days of exercises and techniques and practice and 2 nights of “infield” where you’re practicing and learning at bars and clubs on random beautiful women until you get it working).
In 10 minutes he was on his way to giving himself so much NEGATIVE social proof that he would have nearly killed his chances for the rest of the night. He’d made the difficulty level 10x harder than it needed to be if we hadn’t been there to help him fix his mistakes.
The point isn’t to embarrass the poor guy (he bounced back with our help and got two quality phone numbers that night and took a very cute brunette to an “after party” the second night). But there are specific things you can do to avoid those mistakes:
- DO: Come right into a club/party/whatever and be having fun IMMEDIATELY.
- DON’T: Walk around to “check out the club” or “find the host” or “go to the bar”. Those are just ways of bleeding social proof.
- DO: At least three “warm up approaches” BEFORE you get to where you’re going.
- DON’T: Talk about serious or analytical (including “game”) topics on your way to the venue.
- DO: Approach one group of people as soon as you walk in. It makes you look well-connected. It doesn’t matter if you pick anyone up (or even if there are attractive women in that group).
If you do any of these things, there are a couple of interviews I want you to listen to:
>>Vol. 29: Being In State
>>Vol. 14: The First 5 Minutes
2. Love Systems insider tip #2: Location, location, location
Getting the girl – in any situation – is always about three things: an emotional connection, a physical connection, and logistics. (Source: The Love Systems Triad Model)
Too many people forget logistics:
When you connect with a woman you like, where are you going to take her? How are you going to deal with her friends?
Advanced guys agree – the difference between a good pick up artist and a great one – and often, the difference between a phone number and taking things physical that night, is logistics.
A few years ago, when I was starting to put the pieces together but before I understood the full power of Love Systems, I was at a house party for New Year’s Eve in New York City.
I was doing pretty well. I’d hooked up with a very attractive blonde called Christine (I love blondes) in the bathroom early in the night (I love New Year’s Eve). A couple hours later, I wanted to see what could happen next.
Because I’d set expectations early in the night, she knew I was going to be meeting other women. She told me she was bi-curious, so I let her stick with me.
(By the way, setting expectations is crucial if you want to have Friends with Benefits or to date multiple women. I’d love to talk about that here but we still have lots to get through. But I got you covered on this with the Relationship Management DVDs.
A few drinks and a heavily-manipulated game of Truth or Dare later, I had a foursome planned for the stroke of midnight. Well, at least me, Christine, and two (!) other women had agreed to share a 4-way kiss (whatever that is) at the stroke of midnight.
(There’s ZERO chance this would have happened if the other two women hadn’t seen a hot girl like Christine hanging off of me all night. Just like we were just talking about – social proof. Well that and it was a great New Year’s Eve – even for me, random foursomes don’t happen every night. Gotta be honest.)
I knew this could go further – wanted it to go further – so I suggested that we have this kiss “in private”…
…so we slipped into a bedroom…
…and kissed some more…
…and hands started exploring, clothes started coming off…
…and then a KNOCK ON THE MOTHERF!*$#ING DOOR.
My friend’s roommate needed to “get into his room”. Such an annoying cockblock, but I guess he figured that if he wasn’t getting any, his roommate’s friend was darn sure not getting a foursome on his bed.
After scuttling out of the room, the energy was gone. Shockingly, I couldn’t get the three of them to agree – at 12:37am – go outside in the snow to look for a taxi and then look for a hotel where we could “continue the party”
Always be asking yourself – whether it’s with one woman or more – “when this heats up, where am I taking her?”
Learn from my mistakes, people. With a bit of foresight and a polite request, I’m sure that night could have had a different ending.
For more tips and techniques on how to handle logistics – especially how to get her out of the club or out of the party and back in the car on the way to your place – Jeremy Soul did a killer interview on this a little while ago.
If you’re getting into great conversations with women, but going home alone, you need this interview. Click below to start listening:
>>Vol. 33: Taking a Girl Out of a Bar
3. Love Systems insider tip #3: Touch early, touch often
Remember a minute ago when I was saying the difference between “good” and “great” or a phone number vs. something happening that night is logistics?
(Come on. You haven’t started drinking for New Year’s Eve yet. Stay with me here.)
Well, the difference between “let’s just friends” and a date, is usually a physical connection.
I know guys get excited about the Emotional Progression Model in the eBook Magic Bullets. It’s a great path that takes you step by step through the entire pickup – from the moment you see her until you’re in bed with her. And it’s become the foundation for how people who study dating and attraction think about the process.
But the Emotional dimension – while necessary and while the most important of the three – doesn’t get you anywhere without the physical (or logistics).
Now, I know this is hard. A lot of guys aren’t used to touching people they just met. I know I wasn’t. This is another thing we really enjoy getting the chance to make guys great at in our bootcamps, but for now here are some tips to help out.
- Touch people when you first start talking (within the first minute). Even if it’s just handshakes, hi-fives, whatever, make sure you start the ball rolling. If you wait and then start touching, it will feel “weird” to them.
- Start with “social touch” (for a definition of the physical progression model, check out the free download Love Systems Triad Model)
- Touch everyone at first. Nothing special for the women, nothing special for the woman you might be most interested in. This is actually a good way to limit yourself to social touch at first – handshakes, touching someone’s shoulder or elbow to make a point, and so on.
- Until you’re “in” with a woman, touch should be fleeting, even as it gets more intense. If you put your arm around her (later), that’s great, but be the first to move it away before it gets uncomfortable or she moves it. Same thing with putting her on your lap, kissing, and so on. Until you get home…
It’s amazing how just about anything a man needs to know about picking up beautiful women is in the interview series catalogue now, but then again, we’ve been putting these our for FOUR years now so I shouldn’t be surprised.
For physical escalation, there’s a great interview on…wait for it…Physical Escalation. If you’re not mastering the “physical converation”, start listening now:
>>Vol. 11: Physical Escalation and Kissing
Happy New Year’s,
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