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This is so good I had to share it with you right away.
My friend and colleague Josh Farmer has amazing skills with women. He uses the proven Love Systems approach – the time-tested techniques that let average guys like you and me attract and date beautiful women we’d never get otherwise.
But his specialties are a bit different from mine. I’m a bars and nightclub guy. He’s more of a Jeremy Soul type – he meets women during the day. At malls, coffee shops, parks, and so on. Even on the street – if a beautiful woman walks by who he wants to meet, he doesn’t just stand there and wonder what might have been. He meets her. And most of the time, good things happen.
He’s also known for his “direct” style of Love Systems. He doesn’t come in “under the radar.” He makes his intentions known right away.
Why am I telling you this?
A little while ago, Josh Farmer logged onto The Attraction Forums every day, sometimes a few times a day, to answer questions about Day Game and Direct Game. The Attraction Forums are free, and the Q&A is as well.
You can check it out here.
While you're checking that out, I wanted to get you started with some of the must-have info that can fix common mistakes men make with women – mistakes most guys don’t even know they are making. These are all direct from the booklet.
QUESTION 1: What are some of the biggest mistakes a guy being “direct” can make in the first couple minutes?
ANSWER 1: Three big ones:
A lot of times, a guy will deliver a direct opener in a reaction-seeking way. To do this is incongruent - you are trying to show you are a high value guy who has no shame and problem with expressing his desire for her, but at the same time you are expecting her to give you the reaction you want. If you truly were a high value guy, you wouldn't need her approval or a great reaction.
Body language is difficult to fix in writing and it is why bootcamps and workshops are such great value, you get to see how you should move and stand in person (Cajun and Vercetti do a great job on video in the Beyond Words Body Language Home Study Course as well). But generally, guys need to have VERY GOOD body language for a direct approach, otherwise, again, you will come across as incongruent, and incongruence is weird to women. Stand up straight, slow down your movements, look her in the eye.
Lastly, some guys will expect her to do the work after a direct approach. Approaching direct is not a magic bullet to make her attracted to you. It is true that attraction can happen quicker with a direct approach, but you still need to be the one directing and dominating the conversation. You have shown yourself to be a confident guy, now you need to be able to speak as a confident guy. Sometimes the women will give you a good reaction and will say things you can play off - but most of the time she will have the rabbit-caught-in-the-headlights look and you'll need to direct the conversation.
* * *
QUESTION 2: After you meet a woman, how do you proceed without starting to ask boring questions like “where are you from” and so on?
ANSWER 2: In day game, these aren't as boring as you'd think. The aim in day game is to have a normal conversation where you can relate to her in various ways. Asking 'where are you from' will be interesting if you know where you're going with it, can transition into other conversational threads smoothly, and can transition into that question while grounding it to something. It will be boring if you just ask her a series of rapport-seeking questions without offering anything about yourself that is relevant to what she said. For example, this would be an interesting snippet of conversation using what you suggested: [starting after the opener and exchange of names]
Me: "You know, you have a great fashion sense, I'm betting you're not from around here, where are you from?"
Her: "Thanks! Yeah I'm actually from New York."
Me: "Oh that's cool, I've never been to New York but a friend of mine works over there and she loves it. What are you doing in London, just travelling around?"
Her: "Yeah, I flew in last week and then I'm off to France."
Me: "That's interesting, I find girls who travel really attractive. I've actually just got back from LA and blah blah blah..." - and you're away into an attractive conversation about traveling
Jeremy Soul (the #1 expert in Day Game) has a bunch of actual pick up transcripts like this in his book, Daytime Dating.
Generally, you want to ask her a question and then offer some value of your own that is relevant to her reply, like me saying I have a friend who's in New York (a female friend, showing possible pre-selection). Follow up her answer with some statements about yourself before asking her another question.
Some things to bear in mind here and some things to put into practice:
You: "Hey you don't look like you're from around here."
Her: "No I'm from New York."
You: "Oh cool, I've always wanted to go there, I think I'd like the jazz bars there, so do you like travelling?"
Her: "blah blah..."
You: "That's cool, travelling is one of my passions, I just got back from Mongolia where I was....." (and into an attractive story)
Quick Summary = If you ever find yourself running out of things to say, ask her a qualifying question - "So do you like X Y Z?" - or cold read her - "You look like X Y Z." Use her reply to transition into something you can talk about with passion.
* * *
QUESTION 3: How do you set up a date after getting the number?
ANSWER 3: It's the other way around for me. This little technique made my date plans and game much more solid when I learned to do it. I only take the number when I have arranged to go on a date with her, kind of like a receipt. So after building enough rapport, I ask her if she wants to meet for a drink. She says yes and I ask her what her week looks like - getting her to suggest a few days. I choose one that suits me, and only then do I ask for her number "in case my plans change or you need to get in touch" or something similar. The aim is to get the date set in stone, and then get the number after.
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