1. Mailbag: Can you be discovered using Love Systems?
We usually keep in touch with former bootcamp clients on the Love Systems lounge. That’s like our continuing education program except it’s free (and if you haven’t been to a bootcamp, you can’t buy your way in; we want to keep the level of discussion high).
But that doesn’t really help for the mailbag. So, a former bootcamp client Jeff was kind enough to let us repost our conversation here for the entire list. Small edits have been made to protect Jeff’s identity.
I don’t know if you can answer this or if it’s a dumb question or whatever. I took a bootcamp with Braddock and The Don about a month ago. I know it’s been said millions of times, but it truly has been life-changing. I travel a lot for work and in the last 4 weeks I have met (and “closed”) four different women in four different cities. Before my bootcamp, I would have thought that they were all out of my league. It’s funny – when you know what to do, you stop thinking any girl is unattainable.
I expected to date more and better women, but I didn’t expect how having this area of my life handled would help the rest of my life... friends, work, family, etc. Everything seems easier when you got laid the night before.
Now I’m about to head home for about two months, and I know this might sound stupid but I am wondering if I use Love Systems in my hometown whether people might catch on? Should I save this for when I’m on the road?
- Jeff D., El Paso, TX
Go ahead and use Love Systems in your hometown. Use it anywhere. If you’re doing it right, it’s impossible for anyone to know. This isn’t because we’re so clever that we can hide anything, but because the very nature of Love Systems means you don’t have to try.
No woman in the world is going to say something like:
“You’re so interesting and exciting... did you learn Love Systems?”
“You have confident body language... you must have learned that somewhere.”
“You approached, then transitioned, then attracted, then built qualification and comfort all while smoothly escalating physically and logistically and now I’m really into you... Love Systems??”
Love Systems is not a bunch of secret spells and code words. Love Systems is reverse-engineering what successful guys do, breaking it down, taking the best parts, applying it to your individual identity, and then building on that with our own testing.
This difference is important.
Let’s say you’re learning to cook Italian food. You’d start by looking at the best Italian chefs, recipes, and cookbooks. To be a great chef, you’ll add your own originality and twists on things, but you are still cooking recognizable dishes.
When a woman sits down to eat, she won’t say “This is weird. Are you trying to copy that guy on that cooking show?” because what she’s getting is good quality Italian food that she recognizes. She’s had this before. She likes it. It’s what she wants.
This is just like when a guy uses Love Systems. He is giving her the same feelings she likes and knows when she is unbelievably attracted to a guy.
Let’s say you DO go off in an entirely new direction. Maybe it’s molecular gastronomy, or weird ingredients, or tastes she’s never heard of or that don’t fit together.
It’s like having some “secret spell” for seduction. It’s unfamiliar, it’s weird, it may not fit, and it definitely puts her on her guard and makes her feel weird.
And every night I go out, at least one of my female friends will point to some guy and say, “he’s trying to be a pick up artist.” And she’s usually right, usually because the guy is trying to do something that doesn’t fit or is weird.
THE GOOD NEWS IS THAT THIS IS REALLY EASY TO AVOID. Follow these three easy rules:
Don’t dress like a weirdo.
Don’t talk like a weirdo.
Remember the story of Sam.
1) Don’t dress like a weirdo.
The way you dress is a choice. Women look at your clothes to see how you have chosen to present yourself.
If you present yourself as someone who looks weird and thinks every day is Halloween, the odds will be stacked against you.
I don’t care who you’ve seen on TV dressing like a weirdo. They’re on TV and you’re not. Anyway, TV isn’t real.
Now, Jeff, I know that you know this because you would have gotten first-rate personalized fashion consultation as part of your bootcamp. But for everyone else, dress in a way that expresses your identity. Whether your identity is a hotshot lawyer, club promoter, or outdoorsy guy, dress in a way that conveys and reflects that.
Wear at least one thing that gives a woman an excuse to approach you or compliment you. Even if she was attracted to you, she can’t come over and say “I love your Gap khaki pants.” She CAN say she likes your shoes, ring, shirt, jacket, etc. So, help her approach you.
Personally, I usually go with relatively plain (but fashionable) jeans and shirts, and then do something a little more interesting with my shoes, coat, or watch.
But that does NOT mean “more is better.” This is NOT time for “seventeen pieces of flair.” Don’t dress in a way that would embarrass you if you ran into your boss.
(See, if you would be embarrassed running into someone you know because of how you’re dressed, what chance do you have of her wanting to be seen with you and running into someone SHE knows?)
I was a consultant to a TV show that was on a while ago on which a bunch of guys learned some pick up techniques and then they were filmed going out to clubs.
(It’s a fun show, but it feels too staged for my tastes. I prefer the raw pick up video from Keys to the VIP.)
When it aired, I think some viewers thought that they were watching private bootcamp video instead of a TV show available to anyone, because I started hearing guys everywhere using the exact same lines. And, women recognize them.
That’s why at your bootcamp we worked on personal routines for you. (If you’re not familiar with the term, a routine is kind of like a mini-script.) These include exactly what you should say and do to use your individual identity and tastes to attract beautiful women.
What you might not know is that we also regularly review and update the Love Systems Routines Manual. It’s got 200 pages of word-for-word scripts, when and how to use each one, and how to make your own. Add in all the variations and customizable routines and you could probably use its routines for a year and never repeat yourself.
So, we make sure that none of the routines have fallen into popular consciousness, and we update the book when necessary. In fact, we’re sending out an updated version of Volume 1 of the Routines Manual in the next week. This is at no cost to anyone who has a previous version. We always like to keep our stuff fresh.
Point being, if you’re going to use someone else’s routine, use one from a book designed for this, not from a TV show lots of people have seen and discussed. Anyway, the whole point of the Routines Manuals is that you learn to come up with your own routines fluidly and naturally – that’s why we give away all of the tools to do so.
3) Remember the story of Sam.
I was training a man who we’ll call Sam at a bootcamp last summer, who was one of the less experienced men in the group.
He was in his late twenties, had been single most of his life, and had never really been with anyone more attractive than the proverbial cute-girl-next-door.
In the daytime (classroom and practice) part of the bootcamp, he got up to speed. I could see that he’d be firing on all cylinders both nights we went out.
But... the transformation wasn’t 100% complete. Talking to two beautiful model-types (both almost a foot taller than him in their heels), he was about 70% the alpha male who routinely attracted such women and 30% the shy guy he had been before the bootcamp.
It’s kind of like languages. If I am speaking English to you but occasionally throw in a word in French, it’s not a big deal. You’ll usually get what the word means from the context, and so you don’t really stop and think about it.
But, if one out of every three words is French, you’ll lose the flow of the conversation. You’ll think: “this guy doesn’t actually speak English fluently.”
It was the same with Sam. He smoothly got their phone numbers, expertly got the woman he was most interested in alone with him on the patio...
... And then he started throwing in some cringe-inducing, low-value behavior from his old days.
In other words, the transformation from “being yourself” to “being your best self” wasn’t complete.
Though neither woman brought it up, I wouldn’t have been shocked if either of them had asked him whether he’d studied Love Systems.
Now, don’t worry about Sam. Sam ended up okay. The next night, he took home a cute college girl. The next week he was with some other hottie. And just recently he sent me an email to say he’d met the girl of his dreams and he’s getting married.
Some guys use Love Systems to be players, some to live the rock star lifestyle with threesomes
and models, and some want better options and not to have to settle any more. It’s all good. You pick the mountain; we help you climb it.
The moral of the story is that if you’re improving quickly, there may be an awkward couple of weeks. Women may react to you like you would if you were coaching a sports team and all of a sudden this little out-of-shape kid shows up and is your best player. You’d notice. You’d think: “I like this, but something doesn’t fit quite right.”
All this means is that you’re getting better. Give it another couple of weeks and you’ll be fine.
2. Inside a bootcamp, morning TV, and why The Don hates me
I was in Chicago when Savoy forwarded me a call from the top morning show there, asking questions about “what are you teaching Chicago men this weekend?”
I started to think about how to summarize 23 hours of bootcamp training into one phone call, when they said no, actually, they wanted me on the show at 6 AM Monday morning to do it live.
To be honest, I wasn't too happy about the idea of waking up at 6 AM to do... well, anything really.
Let me explain. Our bootcamps are three days and two nights. So, during the day Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, we are teaching all day. Teaching is rewarding, and doing it right isn’t easy. We have a curriculum that’s been refined over five years to follow, complete with personalized routines, practicing, fashion consultations, practicing, exercises, practicing, sharing advanced Love Systems techniques, and... more practicing.
Then, on Friday and Saturday night, we take the men out for 4-5 hours each night. Instructors have to be ready for anything. You pick up hot girls so the clients can see and hear exactly what you’re doing and why. You watch clients and tell them what they’re doing right and wrong. You help clients watch other instructors gaming and tell them exactly what they’re doing.
Then there’s all the behind-the-scenes work. We’re always comparing notes on the bootcamp clients and making sure we get everyone the right training for them specifically. We plan who works with whom, what we’re going to teach them, and so on.
So, Sunday night, when the bootcamp ends... that’s usually a pretty big night. It's kind of like happy hour for traveling vagabond pick up artists. Unless you have to get up in a few hours...
It went really well I think, but I'm not sure what we do lends itself to the simplistic sound bite culture of today. In the interview we talked about Appearance, Approaching, Transitioning, and Attraction in 4 minutes. I usually spend 4 hours on the first day of a bootcamp talking about these things, breaking down every nuance, and describing the wide range of options and tools we have in our arsenal. But, today everyone wants easy explanations and shortcuts like "How to Pick Up Chicks in 5 Easy Steps." Love Systems is not that... It's the fastest and most direct route to success, but it takes work and thought and is not necessarily always "easy" in the beginning.
That's why bootcamps are great. We don't gloss over anything. We don't oversimplify. One size does not fit all. You need to figure out what type of things work best for you and sometimes that takes a process of experimentation. There's a new process involved and a learning curve. On a bootcamp you have the benefit of Love Systems instructors helping you so that you learn as quickly as possible, but there is always also the commitment and determination of the student to get better that's just as important an ingredient.
So, enjoy the clip and I'm sure most of you LSi readers who have been utilizing Love Systems techniques probably understand that changing your life and learning to be consistently successful with women takes some work in the beginning. Fortunately, that work can be a LOT of fun and once you have the skills, you have them for life and I can assure you that it's well worth the effort.