Soul on Day Game Lays – a Live Field Report
Growing up, I didn’t get a lot of useful advice from my parents on how to meet women. That’s okay – I learned it myself and founded Love Systems. But what I did learn was to “walk the walk” before you “talk the talk.” Any joker can say he’s an expert, but at Love Systems we actually use our own material, day in and day out. So it has to work.
I felt this last year when the hit national pickup competition TV show Keys to the VIP came calling. Yeah, it was a risk to put one of our instructors on an unscripted show, especially a competitive one. I mean – you take a bunch guys to a hot club and you don’t know the judges or their agenda or how the producers want stuff to look, and anything could happen, right?
But we felt we had to walk the walk. It turned out that we were the only guys who had the balls to put our name on the line like this. Yes, it was controversial. Yes, some guys were upset that we were giving away some our secrets for free on national TV. And so on. Anyway, I won’t spoil the surprise, but if you missed the show, you can watch Cajun here on Keys to the VIP!
The Keys to the VIP episode has become a bit of a classic and has spurred a lot of email for “more.” So here comes more. We’re starting right here with a recent actual, real-life field report from Day Game master, Direct Game master, and all-around great dating science instructor Soul. I’ll let him take it away here:
I don’t often write detailed stories of the women I meet. I’d usually rather work on my game, train my students, or work on the Love Systems Game 2.0. Still, with everyone interested in how Love Systems has solved the problem of meeting women in Day Game - on the street, on the bus, at the mall, etc. - I agreed to do a special article for this Love Systems insider (LSi). It’s also a fun reminder to myself of how far I’ve come. It’s incredible to think that a few years ago when I took my first bootcamp, I couldn’t even imagine walking up to a beautiful woman who I didn’t know, let alone sleeping with one on the same day I met her.
But I don’t want to just do a field report that reads like a highlight video. It’s not about looking good; it’s about getting good. So I’m going to divide this field report into two parts: Experimentation and Persistence. Experimentation is the germ of the idea. Persistence is making it work.
I love Day Game. I’m well-known as the Love Systems lead instructor for Day Game seminars. But I never wanted to rest on my laurels. One challenge in Day Game is that it can be hard to get really physical with a woman you meet on the street, like you could at a bar or club. I wanted to see if it’s possible to break this rule and push things faster. So my first goal was to kiss a hot, sober, girl (a real, French kiss) within a few minutes of meeting her without messing up future chances with her. I picked a weekend trip to the Netherlands to experiment with this.
ATTEMPT #1: I approached a beautiful woman wearing sexy, big sunglasses walking out of a restaurant at the Amsterdam train station. Every time you approach a woman, you have to decide what kind of opener or opening line you want to use. In Magic Bullets , Savoy put these into six major categories, so you know when to use each one. For this situation, I chose a Direct Opener – I’m not going to get into all of the opener types and why I used Direct, because this all covered in Magic Bullets in the free downloadable chapters on the Magic Bullets page - but I’m convinced it was the right choice for what I was trying to do.
I approached, I ran a couple of my best attraction routines, got her attracted, but ran smack into a logistical obstacle. She was waiting for her train. So I walked her to the main part of the station, took her number, and went for the kiss. It was broad daylight and I’d interacted with her for all of four minutes, but I had to go for it. I looked at her, started giving her my seduction eyes, leaned in slowly to kiss each cheek, pulled back, and then pulled her in to kiss me on the lips. There was tension and some resistance, but my lips touched hers. More resistance, so I added in some tongue and her resistance falters. She was mine.
Or, it turned out, she was mine at the time. When she got back to Amsterdam the next day, she got flaky and we couldn’t arrange our schedules. Frustration. I concluded that I had pushed too far in the initial interaction without having good enough logistics to continue it. I ignored Savoy’s basic principle in Magic Bullets about how you need to have a suitable location and time to seduce a woman before you cross the physical barrier, and paid the price. It’s right there in Chapter 10 (Seduction) and I’ve taught it hundreds of times before trying to ignore it myself. Sometimes you challenge limits and you realize that they are there for a reason. No problem - the quest would continue; I just needed to revise my plan to account for what I’d learned.
Next up was a voluptuous girl wearing a loose green top that didn’t leave much to the imagination. I approached her on the street and start touching her arms and hands immediately. There was resistance, but I kept talking and making her laugh. I teased her by saying that she wore those clothes on purpose so that I would approach her.
Humor is one of the most important of the eight Attraction switches from Magic Bullets. I teach all my students that if you can get her laughing in the first minute of a daytime interaction, she’ll instantly feel relaxed and willing to have a conversation with you. We cover a bunch of ways of to make girls laugh in the Day Game seminar, but if you need some quick ideas, check out the Love Systems Routines Manual which almost every instructor has contributed his best routines to. There’s also a great interview from Hall of Fame Love Systems instructors Future and Sinn on Storytelling and Humor that’s definitely worth it if you’re not a great storyteller or don’t have humor down cold yet.
Once I had her giggling, I led to a cafe to have a drink with me. Something about her top and her billowing breasts possessed me while we sat there in the hot sun. I started touching her everywhere – at first she resisted, but then started to enjoy it and says, “This is so crazy!” I kept trying for the makeout, but got more resistance. I talked my way through her resistance – I started kissing her neck and whispering all the naughty things I want to do to her into her ear. It was about 3pm, broad daylight outside, and I’d known this girl for all of ten minutes. So far, so good.
I convinced her to come to my hotel room another twenty minutes later. Then I had to wait until my friend got the heck out. I built what comfort I could when he was getting ready, so that when he left, I could quickly move her to bed. Firing on all cylinders, I tried to close the dealâ€Śand got resistance, again. She was turned on, we were being sexual, but she wouldn’t go all the way. I’d gotten the logistics right, but I hadn’t done enough to make her feel comfortable. Again, no problem. Learn from this and go onto the next experiment.
My friend and I headed down to The Hague to check out a free music festival there. Festivals are great for meeting women because people are generally in a good mood. As soon as we got off the tram, I noticed a beautiful young brunette just in front of me walking slowly by herself. Boom! A girl by herself walking slowly is always a good sign for a Same Day Lay; they’re typically in a slightly dreamlike state, almost waiting for something exciting to happen to them. It also means she’s not in a rush to go meet anyone either, which means you could be the person she spends the rest of the day with.
One of the great things about Day Game is that once you get over your approach anxiety, it’s actually very simple and easy to strike up a conversation with a beautiful woman. In most situations you can either use a Direct or a Situational Opener and then transition off it with something interesting and/or funny. (If you’re lost here, go to the Magic Bullets page and download the free chapters). I walked up behind the young brunette girl and tap her lightly on the arm from behind:
Soul: Hey, my friend has just gone to chat up that girl over there, so I’m bored and need company. How are you?
Her: Oh, okay [smiling]. I’m fine thanks.
Soul: So have you been to this festival before?
Her: No, it’s my first time.
Soul: Awesome, me too. I’m in Holland for the weekend, I love it here. Everyone is so cute and friendly. I love the Dutch accent too. It always sounds like you guys are talking with your mouth full!
[Savoy here jumping in. Notice how Soul is setting the frame that people are friendly. The woman almost has no choice but to be friendly at this stage. You can use the same technique for difficult approaches or “insider”-type venues. Soul is a genius.]
Soul: Where are your friends? [ I’m establishing logistics – failure is only okay if you learn from it. I learned from my first train station approach and am checking on logistics early ]
Her: I’m meeting a friend a bit later, but just thought I’d come by myself for a bit and wait until she gets here.
Soul: Wow, that’s brave of you to come to a huge festival by yourself. I really like that kind of independence in a woman. [Logistics are clear and she’s waiting to be swept off her feet. Time to push it to the next level. By the way, what I just said here – that’s qualification.]
Her: [Beaming smile] Thanks!
I continued walking and talking with her. Five minutes later I was wondering whether I could kiss her or not. I always tell my students, “Don’t be someone who makes assumptions as to whether something is possible or not; be willing to test those assumptions with your actions.”
So I stopped her, tell her that she has amazing skin, and stroke a lock of her hair back. No reaction. She just kept on looking at me. That’s a good sign. I lean in and she reciprocates. We kiss, softly and gently at first, and then more voraciously. I learned my lesson from the previous daytime makeouts, so I pull away a few seconds later. I am not going to make the mistake of doing too much, too soon.
I take her by the hand and we keep on walking and talking. I run standard comfort and physical escalation (i.e., touching) stuff – we sit down on the grass, listen to the music and I put my arms around her and stroke her gently. I find out all about her passions, her interests, where she has travelled, and what she wants to be when she grows up. I tell her a bit about myself, without giving too much away.
I should explain the last sentence. Women don’t always need to know all the details about you. They just want to see some evidence that you could be the kind of man they spend time with. What this is exactly varies from woman to woman, but the eight attraction switches from Magic Bullets are where I always start.
We keep walking and eventually meet up with her friend. Now I have to consider logistics. I have to plan to eventually have her alone somewhere where sex could reasonably happen – what we call a sexual situation in Magic Bullets. But I wasn’t going to make the same mistake I’d made with the last girl by charging full steam ahead. I was more subtle. I told her that I’d love to spend more time with her and planted the seed the idea of having drinks at my hotel later on in the evening. When you seed an idea like this early on, it achieves two things. It tests the water to see how they react to the idea and it makes it seem smoother later on when it’s actually time to move back to your place.
I start setting sexual frames as well to make sure that she understands (on an emotional level) that we are going to be intimate. I tell her I am going to kiss her delicious skin all over, and that she’s going to enjoy running her hands over my muscular, taut body. She is smiling and says, “That sounds nice.” It’s on.
I go catch up with my friend while she goes off with hers. I leave them to chill for a while, and then tell her to come meet me outside the festival. We get in a tram and head back to my hotel. Once we get inside, she looks at me, and says, “I have to tell you something.” I’ve heard these words enough times to know what’s coming. “I’m a virgin,” she says.
Seduction is one of the most delicate stages of an interaction with a woman. This is never more true than with a virgin because it’s the point where she is at her highest level of investment with you. I struggled for a long time to do the right things once I had gotten a girl to my bedroom until I came across Love Systems. Magic Bullets talks about how Pacing, Logistics, Arousal and Reassurance can help you manage everything that can happen in Seduction. In this case of this girl, it was genuine reassurance that was the most important factor.
Soul: [Big, warm smile] That’s ok. We don’t have to do anything that you don’t want to. I’m going to take care of you tonight, okay honey?
Her: I know. That’s why I came home with you. I just felt so comfortable with you. This is crazy. I’ve never slept with any of my boyfriends before. I always lied and told them I was waiting for the one, but I don’t think I was. I think I just needed someone to make me feel as comfortable as you have.
I look at her, smile, and lead her by the hand to my bed. I say, “Let’s get into bed,” and we take off our clothes. I spent the next half hour making the softest, gentlest and most sensual love to her. Once I’m sure she’s enjoying it and it’s not hurting her, I shift up a few gears and break a sweat.
I got this text from her when she gets home:
“Hey Jeremy, how are you? I just wanted to let you know that I really loved spending time with you. This night was amazing, just as you are. I wish you and your friend a good time in Amsterdam. We’ll stay in touch. Xx”
It was a beautiful day outside and night had just begun to fall.
Soul is available for one-on-one training and phone consultations, and he is of course the leader of the Love Systems Day Game seminars. Check out the Love Systems Training Schedule to find his upcoming events.
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