Why Women Give Bad Dating Advice & What to do Instead



Why do Women give bad dating advice?

It just doesn’t make sense. Common sense would say that women should be able to give good advice on getting beautiful women interested in you.

But they don’t.

(OK, I’m sure some do. Dating and Attraction Bootcamps occasionally use female instructors or assistants, but these are women who are trained in powerful Love Systems techniques. They’re not random girls who think they know what to do just because they are women.)

Now, it’s not a conspiracy. 3 billion women aren’t plotting together to give you bad advice, even if it might sometimes feel that way.

And actually, the dating advice most women give isn’t bad. It’s just…misplaced.

Read on.

Typical Female Dating Advice

Take some typical comments women make:

    “Just be yourself”
    “Be respectful of her boundaries”
    “Be a gentleman”
    “Take her to dinner and somewhere romantic”

These all make sense. IF SHE IS ALREADY ATTRACTED TO YOU. Think of the last time a girl was head-over-heels into you. Or one of your female friends obsessed with some guy. She would have loved it if he did any of those things, or sent her flowers “just because.”

I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess that your #1 dating problem is not: “This girl is really into me and I like her too, so what do I do?”

If that were the case, a Love Systems bootcamp, where guys come to learn and practice the secrets of picking up beautiful and then actually do so at the nightclubs we go to, would take about 10 minutes, instead of 25-30 hours.

But there’s more to it than this.

People put themselves into situations when they are asked for advice. And people have an idea (often from movies and TV) about how dating and attraction should work. That gets in the way of a clear understanding of how things really work.

Copernicus and Galileo would not have had a hard time convincing people that the Earth went around the Sun instead of vice versa – if it hadn’t been for the fact that for many hundreds of years, people were told to believe the opposite.

And this isn’t the only reason. Women don’t think about the guy they have no interest in coming up and seducing them. That’s one reason why women give arbitrary reasons to explain why they hook up with someone, or just say “it just happened” which means they don’t want to think or talk about it. If she doesn’t think of herself as an elite, beautiful, model-quality woman, she probably doesn’t think you “should” be dating such women. You’ll get a talk about meeting a nice girl through friends instead. If she enjoys your attention (e.g., if you’ve been interested in her in the past), she doesn’t have much reason to help transfer this attention to other women in a way that it would be successful.

And so on…

“But it’s not fair…”

The difference between how the world “should” be and how it actually is doesn’t just apply to women and dating. Every week on The Attraction Forums (the largest and by far the best dating advice forum for men), there’s some guy saying it’s not fair that men have to make the first move, that women “should” want the sweet guy who maybe doesn’t have much game, or that dating “should” be easier.

And…enter reality.

Dating and picking up beautiful women does not happen like in the movies. We’ve had a number of Hollywood screenwriters as clients on Dating and Attraction Bootcamps or private training and they usually have no idea how to pick up beautiful women in the real world.

Put another way, I’d love to live in a world without car crashes. I could watch TV while driving. That’s maybe how things “should” be. But living in that imaginary world would make me…dead.

You won’t die because you live in an imaginary world about dating and picking up beautiful women. You’ll just be alone.

But there is a choice. You can drop old and useless beliefs. You can adopt the idea that the world may not be perfect, but it’s where you live, so you may as well figure out how to navigate through it and meet your goals.

That’s part of the reason my how-to guide on picking up beautiful women, called the Magic Bullets Handbook, is so controversial and why some female commentators hate it. It turns conventional wisdom on its ear. It’s morally neutral. It doesn’t care whether you want her for a one night stand or marriage. It just tells you how to make her want you.

Take a look at it now – it’s time to take control of your dating life. Do it before you read the next section – you’ll see it in a very different way.

Six Truths About Attraction Most Women Don’t Know*

*(or won’t tell you)

1 – Most beautiful women are sleeping with someone. Most also have men who they aren’t sleeping with, who take them on romantic dates. The guy she’s sleeping with, even if (especially if) she calls him an asshole or says she would never date him – he has a 100% better chance of making her his girlfriend than any of the random guys “Dating and Waiting”. You’ll have plenty of time for romantic dinners when she’s your long-term girlfriend.

2 – Most women like a man who can seduce. Who can lead her to bed smoothly and not awkwardly. Who can let her give token resistance (e.g., “I’m not going to go home with you”) and confidently make it happen anyway. No always means no, but men who know Love Systems are good at turning a no into a yes. Which is entirely an emotional process – change her mood, not her mind.

3 – Any emotion is better than no emotion. You have a much better chance of dating or sleeping with a woman who currently hates you than one is indifferent to you. Nice guys leave most women indifferent.

4 – Just because she has a boyfriend doesn’t mean she’s not looking to trade up. You can make whatever ethical decisions you like, but don’t give yourself an excuse that she is “unavailable” because she has a boyfriend. (Longer blog post here)

5 – Attraction is transferrable. No woman in the world will agree with this unless you show it to her when it’s happening. So go try it for yourself. Go to a bar and get a girl super-attracted and into you and then disappear for half an hour. She’ll be all over someone else. This is one reason why it’s important to know how to deal with other men and obstacles – you don’t want them taking advantage of all of your hard work. (Or maybe, just maybe, you want to take advantage of theirs.

6 – Women’s sexual decision-making process is extremely arbitrary. A woman may say she’d never go home with a guy with a bar and that she never has (except for a couple of time that “don’t count”) and that may be an honest expression of her feelings at that time... but a few seconds after you get her phone number and convince yourself you’ve done the best you can, another guy can be leading her home. Ask a woman what kind of men she likes or what she’s looking for, and I’m sure you’ll get a list. That list will usually be things she thinks she should be attracted to – nice dresser, good sense of humor, good values and so on. Some of it is even true. But that list will have NOTHING to do with who she feels attracted to on Saturday night.

There’s so much more I could say here – a lot of this is covered in the Female Psychology – the reasons behind female behaviors, qualities women look for, how to get and manage friends with benefits, and much more. It’s over an hour of material with some of our best insights into the female mind:


Last word on the subject – to be a good doctor, you’d learn from other doctors, not their patients. To be a good guitarist, you’d study a musician, not a concert audience. And to become great with women, look at other guys like you who are great with women.


Top PUAs of the Year

Every year there are “Top Ten” lists of the best pick up artists and dating coaches in the world. Two years ago everyone agreed it was Jeremy Soul, the King of “Day Game”. Last year he fell to #2, when Future exploded back onto the scene with his contributions to high-energy game, same-night lays, sexual framing, and, of course, Breakthrough Comfort, that captured most people’s imagination.

A guy like me could start to get a complex, being dethroned for a few years in a row after being #1 for so long. But I can deal with it, because I’m just that awesome these guys are building on my system, and, more importantly, because they actually deserve it. And I used all my Love Systems skills to get the girl I wanted, so I’ve been “Relationship Guy” for a little while now.

Based on literally over a thousand ballots, here’s this year’s Top 5:


#5 – Keychain

Not especially tall or classically good-looking, Keychain uses a razor-sharp knowledge of Love Systems, especially rapid escalation. His pick ups are legendary and have been documented by journalists all over Europe (Source). A consistent feature of the Top-5 the past couple years.

Learn more about Keychain here


#4 – Cajun

A long-time legend, and a consistent feature of the top-5 lists for the last three years. It’s easy to look good in video picking up women if you do enough takes and only keep the ones that look good. This is why we use “infield video” to illustrate specific techniques, not because it proves anything.

But Cajun is famous for something else – he went on a pickup competition show without retakes, without do-overs, and without producers who cared whether he looked good. Judge for yourself here:

Since then Cajun has gone from strength to strength. He was another major contributor for the Beyond Words Body Language and Physical Escalation Home Study Course and is the author of the wildly popular Gentleman’s Guide to - Online Dating.

Learn more about Cajun here


#3 – Future

Last year’s #1, and still The Man. Inventor of the powerful Breakthrough Comfort seminar – the only seminar which has its own warning label: “This material WILL make her fall in love with you. Use wisely.”

Learn more about Future here


#2 – Braddock

Not too many people get invited by Tyra Banks to prove their amazing pick up techniques on live TV, but Braddock was. And in one of the hardest situations imaginable – train a guy for only a couple hours, not be allowed to change his deliberately geeky clothes, and then send him into a public park in the middle of the day to pick up women – he blew everyone away.


Learn more about Braddock here


#1 – Vercetti

Wait, who?

Insiders know Vercetti from his amazing bootcamp reviews, and, especially, his masterful performance on the Beyond Words Home Study Course, co-starring with Cajun. As a professional actor, he is a master of using facial expression, physical space, and sub-communication to convey exactly the right emotions at the right time. But he’s much more than a “body language” guy. His inner game material at the last SuperConference got a standing ovation.

And unlike previous years (last year the ballots were tied until we did a recount), this year the #1 balloting wasn’t even close. Everyone is going to be hearing a lot more Vercetti in 2011.

Learn more about Vercetti here

If you’ve worked with any of these guys or been helped by their writings, interviews, or videos, feel free to congratulate them – on any of their bio pages (the “learn from/about so-and-so” links after each guy’s short bio) you can send them a note directly.