I get the impression that a lot of guys out there are doing decently well at getting phone numbers and building attraction, but are getting a lot of flaking after acquiring the phone number. This challenge is to help you guys improve your phone game so that you're able to turn your phone numbers into dates.
Your goal is to spend the maximum amount of time talking to women on the phone.
First, let's talk some phone game theory.
Men and women view the telephone very differently. Men view the phone as a tool that allows us to schedule our lives and arrange meet ups with our friends. For a woman, talking on the phone is almost as good as meeting up with a friend. For example, when two guys chat on the phone, the conversation usually goes something like this:
- "Hey Dave, what's up tonight?"
- "I'm going to Skybar at 9. Wanna come?"
- "Yeah, totally.... Hey, I'll see you there, man!"
Now, I ask you guys this: have you ever heard a woman talk on the phone like that? No! A woman would think that a conversation like the one above is weird and unnatural, and it's exactly the way that a lot of guys come off when we call a woman and immediately change the subject to meeting up.
Women want to chat on the phone, even if it's silly small talk. When we understand this, we can change our phone habits so they make women enjoy our calls, and feel comfortable and natural meeting up with us.
So, here are some rules for a little phone game exercise. Please don't see these rules as hard and fast laws that need to be followed all the time, but techniques designed to improve your natural phone game.
- Contact women the next day or the same day that you get their number.
- For the first call, don't even mention a meet up (unless you timebridged for that day). Just vibe and build comfort. [For more on time-bridging, check out Interview Series CD Vol. 4: Timebridging and Dates with Future and Ajax]
- For subsequent calls, don't mention the meet up until you have chatted for at least five minutes.
- If you get her voicemail the first time, leave a message.
- If the woman you're calling is busy, at work, or being distracted, just say "hey, I'll call you back when you're not distracted." If she tries to get you to stay on, then stay (unless the distraction is really annoying).
- If you have a phone number, call it every two days, even if you keep getting the answering machine. Don't give up until you have called at least five times.
- If a woman is picking up the phone, continue to call her every two days, or more (especially if she is investing in you by calling back). Do this with all of the phone numbers you have!
- Don't be afraid to make small talk. If you have the phone number, you are in Comfort! You can get away with mellow chit-chatty conversation. Talk about any topic you want, just try and make it interesting!
- Try and get into deeper conversation. “What were you like in high school?” “Tell me about your family.” Etc...
- Call your female friends and women who have "let's just be friends"-ed you and talk to them!
The goal of this is to make you into one of those people who is constantly talking on the phone, getting phone calls and socializing over the phone. You want to get calls back while you are on dates, and constantly interacting with a wide group of friends. You'll be amazed at how this changes your social dynamic.
Good luck, guys!
For more information on Phone Game, you can check out Interview Series CD Vol. 10: Phone Game with Savoy and Sinn, or Chapter 22: Phone Game in Magic Bullets.
To see if Chris (Tenmagnet) is teaching a program in your area, check out our schedule here.
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