Most people will tell you that when you’re approaching women during the day (Day Game),you should work for an instant date. An instant date is where you go for a coffee or some kind of mini-date with a woman immediately after having met her.
This is because instant dates supposedly let you move quicker, build comfort, and reduce flakiness. In fact, if you haven’t read my original Day Walking article then that’s a great start.
I used to think this as well. But, it’s wrong. Even if you first meet her during the day, you should make the “date” at night.
Chances are that an instant date during the day won’t get physical. Part of this is logistics: she is probably in the middle of errands, on her break from work, or in between meetings. You may well be busy too. For most people, the evening is when they have the majority of their downtime, and it’s more likely she’ll be able to spend a couple of hours on a date or getting intimate with you then.
Then there’s the psychology of sex. Most people associate nightfall with intimacy. Therefore, if you want to spend time with a woman with the possibility of sleeping with her, you should arrange for that time to be in the evening. Check out the Female Psychology interview recorded by me and Savoy for some in-depth detail.
The final factor is that women like the element of mystery, the feeling of not knowing exactly what is going to happen. If you spend a couple of hours with a woman in the afternoon taking a long walk through the park or chatting over coffee, a lot of that mystery is gone.
Suddenly, she knows a lot about you and you’ve become that “really interesting guy she spent an afternoon chatting with” instead of the guy she met up with in the evening and went home with.
Of course, there are always going to be exceptions. It certainly is possible to meet a woman in the middle of the afternoon and take her home before nightfall. It’s also possible to go on instant dates that last until nightfall and then take her home. But, these are exceptions rather than the rule. Logistics are another factor that can get in the way, but have a listen to this interview with Johnny Wolf and me for some great tips on how to get past challenges and take her home.
In most cases, your best bet for securing a solid date and for not wasting your time is to spend five minutes building a connection based on Attraction and Qualification (see the Love Systems Triad if you don’t know what these are), then set up a date for that evening or an evening sometime soon.
While I’m not suggesting instant dates should never be tried, there shouldn’t be too much expectation that this method is always going to work. They’re certainly good for showing you what’s possible - that you can go on a random date with a woman you’ve just met in the middle of the day. But, instant dates should be a feather in your cap rather than the arrows in your quiver.
These ideas have come from my continued experimentation, which is really important in developing any skill. So, I invite you to experiment; if you have never tried instant dates, try going on a few, and if you usually do a lot of them, try avoiding them completely. See what happens.
Answers to just about ANY questions
If you’ll forgive a little autobiographical detour before we get to the main dish here...
As I’ve said a number of times both here and on my blog, I wasn’t “naturally” good with women. Until about ten years ago, I’m pretty sure I was worse than you’ve ever been. It took a lot of work and a commitment to getting this part of my life handled.
A big part of the problem was that most of the advice I got back then was... garbage. I started at the bookstore. A popular self-help book told me “Don’t try to meet women in nightclubs. The competition is too hard.” It was written by a single guy in his late fifties, who had clearly given up.
Well, okay then. Option #1: Give up.
So, I went online. I found some weird old guy telling guys to point at their penises a lot while saying “hap-penis” instead of “happiness” and “blow me” instead of “below me.” Supposedly that hypnotizes women into wanting you. [I’m seriously not making this up.] Sure.
Option #2: Be really, really creepy.
So, I set off on my own. I learned, with the help of a few people doing the same thing, through trial and error. It wasn’t very efficient, but there wasn’t another choice.
(Cue old grandfather voice: “Back in MY day... it was a hundred degrees and snowing every day, and we had to walk uphill BOTH WAYS to school. And there was no Magic Bullets. No Routines Manual. No Attraction Forums... you kids today have it so easy.”)
When it started to “click,” we knew we had something we wanted to share. Picking up beautiful women IS something that almost any man can learn. There IS a system you can follow to get success.
(And you don’t to give up, or be creepy.)
So, I started writing a popular newsletter (which became this LSi you’re reading now) which grew and grew, and then I wanted to put the basic system into a book. I called it Magic Bullets, and the rest is history.
Except it’s not, really. On the advice of... well, just about everyone, I cut the original draft of Magic Bullets from its original 500+ pages down to 200.
“You can’t cover every possible situation in one book,” they said. “No one will ever read it all. You’re supposed to be writing a book, not an encyclopaedia.”
So, I cut and cut and cut. Now there are twenty pages on Attraction, for example, that go over attraction techniques like cold reads, embedded stories, teasing, and so on, where there used to be twenty pages on each of these. And so on down the line. I’m glad I did it, because it made it a better book (as now over 100 reviews indicate).
But, we lost something. We lost that infinite detail.
That’s why we started the interview series. It’s hard to keep writing 20 pages on a new topic every month, but it’s not that hard to get a few experts in the room, talk about everything relating to one issue for a few hours, and then boil it down to its best 60 minutes.
That way, every month we can have one new off-the-shelf expert’s guide to one specific subject – in more detail and with more examples than you’ll find anywhere.