A lot of the dating science questions I get are pretty easy to answer. I don’t usually repeat stuff that is in Magic Bullets so for those questions, I usually just give the page or chapter number where they can be answered. Other questions can often be handled in a paragraph or two. But sometimes I get a question that touches on a bunch of interesting issues and would be helpful to a lot more people than just the person asking. An email I got yesterday is a perfect example of this, and with the author’s permission I am publishing both his question and my answer in today’s LSi.
- She’s been to dozens of these already in her life. It’s not fresh and exciting and it’s harder for you to stand out.
- You show from the beginning that you are not especially creative or challenging to her.
- The first-date dinner date is a traditional part of the “courtship” ritual. Courtship is bad. You are chasing her; she is screening you. She is evaluating whether you’d be a good boyfriend. I call this kind of approach “dating and waiting.”
- She has lots of experience going for dinner with a man and not giving him more than a kiss.
- Dinner dates, especially if you’re new to dating science and don’t know her that well, are actually kind of hard. You are responsible for nearly all of the entertainment, and awkwardness is death. Compare this to going to a comedy club, where the environment helps you.
- Physically: At most restaurants, it is hard or awkward for you to be touching each other, or starting what I call the “physical conversation.” You’re often sitting across from each other, with a table as a barrier. Even starting the physical conversation by touching her arm casually as you say something is awkward over a dinner table. You’re usually just two talking heads.
- Logistically: You’re at a restaurant. Great. She’s not at your house, and she’s used to the invitation to a man’s house after the dinner date and knows exactly what that means. It’s a state break. (If you don’t know what a state break is and how the end-game – seducing a woman – is dependent on properly navigating past potential state break, then re-read Chapter 10: Seduction of Magic Bullets. It explains state breaks in detail, gives three tools to navigate past them, and then a ton of examples of how these tools get used in real-life situations.) It’s not an insurmountable problem, but it’s a potential state break you don’t need, especially when you’re just starting out.
- When she first met me, she thought I was interesting, funny, exciting, and so on. She was attracted to me.
- However, beautiful women are used to men who have “game.” That’s why a lot of women wait before sex or are “not ready.” They want to know you for a little longer to see if you are really the person they thought you were.
- That’s where the three Outcomes come in. Outcomes are the final three attraction switches that demonstrate you are who you say you are. These are Confidence, Pre-Selection, and Challenging.
- Since it is virtually impossible for a man to actually BE all of the attractive qualities she is looking for without also being confident, challenging, and pre-selected, she started to question her initial impression of me.
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