I just did a phone consultation with a guy who wanted to get better at ATTRACTION. The guy (Jeff) had just gotten out of a long relationship and a friend recommended Love Systems. He was new, hadn't read the Magic Bullets Handbook yet, etc. So, we started with the basics. It got me thinking. Probably everyone can benefit from going back to basics once in a while.
In general, you can make a lot of 'mistakes' and still get the girl. But not with these 15 things. These are laws.
1. The "Game" begins as soon as you leave the house. Women notice you before you approach them. They should always see you having fun, being social, and looking good. (Going out with fun people/good wingmen and to places you like helps with this.) If you've been circling around, acting nervous, or standing alone, you'll need to have the skills of a Future or a Jeremy Soul to get the girl once you approach. Love Systems is about making things easier, not harder.
2. Dress in a way that is fashionable and expresses your identity. Most women see fashion as self-expression. How do you want her to see you? Dress that way. You can't avoid this - if you dress to blend in, she'll just think of you as the kind of guy who wants to blend in. There are some great tips in the fashion section of The Attraction Forums and a how-to guide with before and after pictures in the Magic Bullets Handbook.
You see a beautiful woman...
3. Move your feet. If you get the eyes-feet reflex going (i.e., see a hot girl, start walking over to the hot girl), everything else will - eventually - take care of itself. Get this down until it's automatic. The longer you delay an approach, the harder it will be. Don't skip this.
4. Memorize five good openers (opening lines) so you always have one ready to go. If you don't have this, you'll often stumble on the beginning of the conversation or even talk yourself out of approaching in the first place. If you don't have a set of good "go-to" openers that you know work, grab some from the Routines Manual. Or create your own.
The first few seconds...
5. Body language - this is a massive topic and great body language can almost pick up a girl all by itself. Fundamentals for the first few minutes include eye contact, shoulders back and relaxed, hands calm and not in your pockets, standing up straight (don't fidget), head straight (not tilted). Stand like you would if you owned the world.
6. Speak up! Love Systems has trained tens of thousands of men in person over the last 7 years. Almost all of them started off speaking too softly when approaching women. Especially at bars and clubs, she must hear you clearly the first time and it must cut across other conversations, the music, etc. Also, use your "chest voice" (Google it) and not your "head voice."
7. Don't "milk" the opener. Whatever you said when you came over to talk to her, switch off that topic after a minute. That's crucial. You want her to see you as an attractive, interesting man, not as "the guy I talked to about such-and-such."
Getting into the conversation...
8. Be FUN. Don't be too serious or take yourself or the conversation too seriously. If you look like you're having fun and enjoying yourself, she will have fun too. Fun is contagious...
9. ... but don't be a dancing monkey. You're not trying to become her personal clown or court jester. Have fun and be fun, but don't try to entertain.
10. Some things that are great for attraction and are also fun include storytelling, teasing, and role plays. It's okay if you prefer one or two of these - each of these techniques has its own skill set. I do a lot of storytelling, some teasing, and a rare role play. Braddock does the opposite. Go with what works for you.
11. Avoid "interviews." Don't ask her too many questions. A question or two shows some interest in who she is as a person, but more than that is what every guy does; it's boring and a turnoff. It's also a waste - asking her a question about herself does nothing to attract her or let her get to know your good qualities. Instead, make statements. E.g., instead of asking where she's from, make a guess. Or tell her where you're from and she'll do the same.
12. Similarly, don't play tourist in her life. So you find out she's a stewardess/porn star/nuclear scientist and you're curious to know more. Save it. If she's attracted to you, you'll have all the time in the world to ask whatever you want.
13. NEVER leave a conversation because you "run out of things to say." Force yourself to stay. Your brain will learn, if it is forced to, how to improvise. Or use one of the hundreds of proven "things to say" (called routines) in the Routines Manual or Routines Manual Volume 2. Be strict with yourself on this.
Making attraction STICK
Some guys think of attraction as something that takes a long time but once you got it, it's permanent. That's doubly wrong. Women feel attracted to men all the time, and it doesn't take long - within minutes of beginning a conversation. But if you don't do anything to solidify or lock in that attraction, it goes away as quickly as it came.
14. Qualification is the best way to keep her attracted. By making her work a bit for you and by leading the conversation to a place where you and her admit that you are interested in each other, you're not some fleeting guy... you're a guy she needs more of.
15. Phone numbers are not attraction. Getting a phone number does not mean she is attracted to you. Getting a phone number before she is attracted to you is next to useless. Read the Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game if you're a phone number + dates guy instead of a One Night Stand guy.
Obviously, this is only scratching the surface. Attraction takes up several chapters of the Magic Bullets Handbook, most of the routines in the Routines Manual 1 and Routines Manual 2 are attraction routines, and the interview series goes through the nuts and bolts of a bunch of attraction techniques so you can go over "how to" do them all. But nothing about attraction will ever contradict these 15 Laws, no matter how advanced you are.
If you ever break any of these 15, print out the list, carry it in your wallet, and review them until they are instinctive and you don't even need to think about them anymore.