How to Use Push/Pull
The other day, dating masters Braddock and Daxx came by to record a special double-length interview on “Push/Pull”. Those two didn’t invent the technique, but they’ve mastered it and can use it and teach it better than anyone.
Before we get started, a couple quick definitions:
- PUSH means pushing her away. Not physically (usually), but saying or doing things that imply that you’re not interested in her.
- PULL is the opposite. When you’re hitting on her, you’re in “pull” mode.
- PUSH/PULL is using them together, usually to get and solidify attraction.
There’s no way I can do justice to experts on attraction and push/pull like Braddock and Daxx when they’ve got two hours to explain, give examples, troubleshoot, etc. So instead I’ll just give you the surface-level Push/Pull stuff – 7 quick tips you can use right away tonight.
- Always keep “push” and “pull” balanced. Too much “pull” and she’ll think you’re needy. Too much “push” and she’ll think you’re a jerk or not interested in her.
- When you use push/pull, you will usually play the opposite of her mood. Pull when you need to draw her back in, but push when she’s attracted.
- Role-plays are great for push-pull because they make it easy to quickly do push-pull-push-pull-push-pull-etc. Like you tell her that she’s your wife (pull) but you’re getting divorced (push) but you’ll still visit her for the sex (pull) if she pays for your gas (push). And so on. Even though it’s just you two being silly and it’s pretend, the up-and-down emotions will still feel real to her…and be very exciting. (Source: PUA Routines Manual 2)
- Compliments are pulls. Make sure you only give compliments that she has genuinely earned. Going further will seem try-hard and insincere. After 5 minutes, it can make sense to tell her how fun and easy she is to talk to, but it wouldn’t make sense to tell her what an amazing person she is.
- Teases are pushes. Unless you’re advanced, don’t tease anything very specific to her. For example, you can tease her for being from a farm town (which would apply to a large amount of the population). But don’t tease her that her eyes are slightly uneven; that’s too specific to her.
- Push/pull can also be physical. It’s not necessarily pulling her and pushing her. Even a simple backturn can be a good “push”. Daxx wrote a field report recently where he demonstrated great use of push/pull like this.
- Often you’ll combine a push and a pull into the same sentence. This lets you give a compliment and/or sexualize the conversation without making her feel uncomfortable. For example, “Wow... you really do have an amazing body -- I have a friend who would be so into you.”
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