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*** READER QUESTION***
How do you get through to the “ice princess” who is always on her game, always says and does the right thing, always looks perfect, and intimidates every man she meets?
Some background on me: I’m 31, single. On New Year’s Day this year, I decided to change my life. No more baby steps, no more doing a little bit and getting nowhere except closer to 40.
I’ve been concentrating on Social Circle Mastery because I work nights and don’t really go to nightclubs. I’m not perfect at it yet, but you would be proud, I’ve gone on dates with some gorgeous, intelligent, interesting women I would NEVER have even met before (and definitely never would have dated).
I’ve just broken into a new social circle, a bunch of grad students at the college here. One in particular is the classic “ice princess” and is obviously at the top of the group. I know from Social Circle Mastery that waterfall theory says I shouldn’t get with anyone else in the group until I get with her, but I am having a terrible time getting her interested. Other girls in the group (some are HOT) have shown interest in me. Should I keep fishing or cut bait?
- Sam R., Durham, NC
*** RESPONSE ***
Fantastic question. This answer might be a lil long, but I want to hit it from a couple of different directions.
First, this reminds me of something my girlfriend said to me once. She’s a classic 10 – tall, blonde, former model, etc. - and comes off as unapproachable a lot. Here’s what she said once about being the hottest girl in the room:
(Sort of like the Swedish girls in Adam’s Brown’s book about today’s pick up artists - Myths and Masters of the Game – great book, by the way.)
So my first question to you is whether she is REALLY unapproachable or whether you are just intimidated.
Here’s another secret about beautiful women. Most of them just want to be treated like a normal person. What most men do is put her on some crazy pedestal and suck up to her like crazy. They don’t even bother to get to know her. And when she turns him down, she knows half the time he is going to get mad from a lifetime of rejection from beautiful women and call her a bitch.
(To try to get that feeling yourself, imagine a beggar following you down the street giving you compliments. You know you don’t deserve them. You know he just wants something from you. You know he’s going to be unpredictable when he realizes he’s not going to get it. Now imagine that this happens to you 10 times a day, every day.)
That’s why things like humor and teasing are so important in attraction. They make her feel good, sure, but they also show her that you can treat her like a normal person.
By doing this, you also show her:
Shit – that’s three of the eight attraction switches right there.
If this stuff is new to you, I’d really recommend you check my interview on Female Psychology. Just click that link; the first 10 minutes will start playing immediately.
As a final thought, here’s something I wrote a couple years ago:
Quoted from the Magic Bullets Handbook, Chapter 7.
*** READER QUESTION ***
I have one problem with your material, you have no way to tell if a woman is underage before you use Love Systems. When will you fix this?
- “I”, Tokyo, Japan
*** RESPONSE ***
Well no. We also don’t talk much about remembering to wear a condom or about looking both ways before you cross the street, either. Some things are just common sense.
If you haven’t had a lot of success with women, you might have gotten into the habit of “date any woman who will date me” or “sleep with any woman who will sleep with me.” But now that you have Love Systems, you should be a lot more selective. YOU are the one who chooses now. Stay away from jailbait.
(OK, if you’ve really got a borderline case, find some game where you get to see her ID. Show her your awful driver’s license photo, then grab hers. Or take her somewhere where she will have to show her ID anyway, like a bar or an event you have to register for.)
NB: By the way, it’s not just jailbait to watch out for. Keep a filter for psychos and bad situations too. When I was living in Slovakia many years ago, I hooked up with a girl after a party and walked her back to her apartment. She wouldn’t let me come up, so we literally had sex with her pressed up against the wall, on the street. As the sun came up. Where anyone could see. Then I asked if I could come up and shower. She told me no, she was worried about her boyfriend finding out. And that boyfriend happened to be – well, the name I’ve long forgotten, but he was the #2 guy in the Albanian mafia there. This, by the way, was the first mention of said boyfriend. And both of our necks were covered in hickeys and we worked together.
I left the country three days later. True story.
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