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“She was so into me when we met. I got her number, but when I called – nothing. This happens over and over and it’s driving me F-ing crazy. That’s why I came to you.”
A one-on-one client said this in our ‘entry interview.’ The guy is a genuine B-List celebrity. He’s decent-looking and rich. And frustrated out of his mind.
Has it ever happened to you? Have you ever wondered why Ms. Future Girlfriend (or Ms. Future Hookup) was so into you when you met, but won’t return a call or text? Did she lose her phone? Join the circus? Get kidnapped by Darth Vader on a diplomatic mission to Alderaan?
The good news is that there is a solution.
The even better news is that most guys have this problem. Even celebrities like Mr. B-List. Learn the Love Systems solution (just six steps) and you’ll be way ahead of the competition!
1. Attraction Her Way.
Attraction is different for men and women. If you were attracted to her yesterday, you’ll probably be attracted to her today. If she was attracted to you yesterday, she might not remember your name ten minutes later.
Like David D says, “attraction is not a choice.” What IS a choice is whether she acts on that attraction. So women are very used to feeling attracted, enjoying that feeling, and then doing absolutely nothing about it. (Think of how many women love flirting with gay men.)
We see this a LOT with guys who are pretty new to Love Systems. They learn some of the Love Systems building blocks of attraction – teasing, role plays, disqualification, storytelling and so on, and it’s lots of fun. Hot girls who were never into you before follow you around with puppy dog eyes. Women compete for your attention, hanging off you laughing, playing with their hair, touching you. Your friends think you’re The Man and everyone else wants to meet you.
But to actually get anywhere with any woman worth being with, you need to lock in that attraction. You need to turn yourself from “random guy she had a fun conversation with” to “man she needs to see again.” Experienced men know that that comes through Qualification (making her chase you) and Comfort (the right kind of emotional connection).
They’re not as fun as attraction. They don’t spark the fireworks and your buddies won’t be staring in awe. But they’re necessary.
Be the person she’s going to want to talk to tomorrow – during her normal life – not just the person who is fun to flirt with when she’s hyped up at a bar.
2. The Phone Number is not the secret code to her heart (or pants).
A phone number by itself is worthless. It’s not your goal. Your goal is to get her to want to see you again. If she does, she’s pretty likely to just offer you her phone number. (And that’s better than you asking for it.)
Some women play hard to get or want you to make the first move – fine. But give her a chance to chase you first.
3. Hey! Where are you going?
Stay at least a few minutes in the conversations after getting her phone number. (Stay as long as you want if you want to make something that happen that night.)
Obviously, sometimes that’s not going to be possible, like if her friends are dragging her away. Fine. But if there is no obvious reason for the conversation to end all of a sudden, then don’t end it suddenly.
This is part of female psychology – don’t give the feeling that you came in, got what you wanted, and then left suddenly. Even though it’s not really logical, it can give her that “feeling used” emotion, especially if her friends are watching. After all, if you really liked her wouldn’t you spend more time getting to know her instead of rushing back to brag to your friends?
And if she thinks you’re like that after getting her phone number, will she really want to have sex with you?
4. Text first (especially if she’s younger).
It’s less intrusive, more likely to get a response, and most girls are used to getting texts from the guys they want and endless unanswered phone calls from the desperate ones she doesn’t.
Phone game experts Braddock and Mr M cover this pretty thoroughly in their book, The Ultimate Guide to Phone and Text Game, so I’ll let it be the last word here.
5. I’ll Show You Mine if You Show Me Yours.
If you’re putting her in your phone, put your number in hers too. Not because she’ll call you first (most hot girls won’t, but some will text) but so she’ll know it’s you when you get in touch. A lot of people don’t answer phone numbers they don’t know and a “who is this?” kills emotional momentum.
Besides, being in her phone (the right way) is great for callback humor. Read on.
6. Got Callback Humor?
One of the first and biggest Love Systems breakthroughs way back when was the idea of Callback Humor.
And if I do say so myself, it’s genius.
You know that awkward feeling you sometimes get the first time you call someone? You’re no longer in a fun nightclub or the cool guy she spontaneously met at the mall or coffee shop. All that fun energy is gone.
What if I told you that there’s a way to put her emotionally back to where she was when she met you – even if you phone a couple days later? Callback humor does this by setting up “inside jokes” with her when you first meet her.
At a basic level, it can be something like giving her a nickname. When you first text or call, use that nickname – it’ll remind her of meeting you. Roleplays are also a great attraction technique, and lend themselves really well to callback humor – just pick up on some element of the roleplay when you call or text first.
For bonus points, use callback humor when you give her your number. If I’m roleplaying that she’s my naughty ex I still hook up with, I might put my name in her phone as “Nick XILF” or “Ex-BF Sex God”. That’s going to show up on her phone when I call or text the first time and probably make her laugh.
(The sexualized frame is a bonus.)
I seed every conversation with callback humor. After a few dozen times, it becomes automatic. Even if I’m not thinking of getting her phone number, I seed callback humor anyway. Make it a habit, because plans and goals can change, and there’s nothing more awkward than desperately trying to squeeze some callback humor into the end of a conversation.
Big Business, Future, and Tenmagnet are experts in using callback humor, and all of them are Love Systems Master Instructors. I’ve borrowed things from all three of them even in my own game. So when we did our full-length audio guide on callback humor, we knew we needed to get them on it.
To listen to the audio guide right away (first 10 minutes are free), click here:
When you use Callback Humor, think of it like an opener or opening line. In other words, a minute (or a couple of texts) is plenty. It’s going to help her get into a fun, flirtatious, happy state when she hears from you the first time. It’s not going to do all the work for you.
Also, callback humor doesn’t have to be sexual. Don’t force a sexual frame if that’s not the vibe of your initial conversation. The best callback humor comes organically from role plays and teasing – techniques you should be using in attraction anyway.
I could go on forever – callback humor is that important (and I’m pretty proud of it as a Love Systems breakthrough back in the early days). Just try it and see!
I hate it when things go wrong late in the game. If you mess up an opening line, you’ve lost 10 seconds. If you mess up callback humor or the first call or text, you might have lost the entire night you put into attracting her in the first place.
Make your mistakes early. Take risks early. Use solid, proven game late.
NB – Since I know I’m going to get a bunch of “can you send me that link again” emails, I’ll save the trouble – here’s the link to Future and Tenmagnet and Big Business’ callback humor guide – listen to it on your computer, in your car, on your iPod, when working out, whatever:
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