- Live Training
- About Us
- Dating Advice
- Free Webinar
Attraction is the stage in which we get women interested in us. We create attraction. Read that last sentence again. We CREATE attraction. This is a fundamental difference between Love Systems and other techniques.
We were not, and are not, satisfied with simply improving our attractiveness to women and recognizing when an individual woman is interested in us (although this is important and we will discuss it below). Rather, one of our breakthroughs is in how we've learned to take a woman who initially is "emotionally neutral" towards us, and relying on female behavioral patterns, trigger the right emotional switches that cause her to be both interested and attracted.
So, how do you start attraction? Simple, you jump straight into attraction as soon as you spot an opportunity from the opener. You don't even need to finish your opener. For example, you might have approached a group and asked for an opinion on something (e.g., "my friend over there, she wants to dye her hair blonde, what do you think?"). There's no value to you in an extended conversation about your "friend's" hair. So, as soon as you can, you'll want to transition by saying something like "hey, that reminds me..." and jump into a piece of attraction material. Attraction material can be a story, a specific conversational thread, a routine, or any other technique to build attraction. We discuss these more below.
Guys who are new to Love Systems often question how we can jump between unrelated pieces of material. If you approach a group of people asking about your friend's hair, and then start telling them about something that happened to you earlier that day, you may feel that it's strange or awkward. Trust us here (or, better still, go out and try). Most people - especially women - don't care if there is little obvious relationship between different conversational threads, as long as they are entertained. Think about a professional comedian. His or her jokes will be grouped into certain subjects, but these subjects are rarely related. So, after a couple of jokes about, say, airlines, he or she will tell a couple about some movie star. They're not connected, but we don't notice or care. We're entertained and interested. If you feel shy doing this at first, you can slip in a meaningless connector like "that reminds me..." or "that's just like when..." However, in time, you'll realize that these too are unnecessary.
To recap: the moment you change the subject from your opener to something new, you're in attraction. Now your job is to create attraction from the woman in whom you are interested.
Two key building blocks for this are Demonstrations of Higher Value (DHVs) and Teasing.
A DHV is simply a demonstration that you are "better than the other guys." You have a higher value than they do. Most men instinctively understand this- this is why they try to work out, dress nice, have money, achieve social status, etc. Some men will also attempt to put other men down, so that they look better by comparison.
While this stuff helps, it's ultimately a limited strategy. First, there will always be someone better looking, better dressed, richer, and more successful than you. Second, the most desirable women already have tons of guys in their lives that are sufficiently good looking, well-dressed, rich, and successful working to get their interest. It will take more than the above described to win their interest in you.
So this is where we DEMONSTRATE that we have higher value. How do we do this?
Teasing is a very powerful tool. You simultaneously raise your social value relative to hers, while apparently disqualifying yourself as a potential suitor for her. Guys that hit on her simply don't do this kind of thing. She'll know it and her friends will know it. The fact that you are clearly NOT hitting on her sub-communicates several things:
Overdoing it can come off as hostile or arrogant, which is unattractive.
Teasing must also be delivered appropriately. Drawing too much attention to them will make them awkward. Forcing her to react to them may make her feel defensive or shy. Teasing is best delivered as a sidebar conversation to whatever conversation you are currently having, preferably with someone else. For example, if you approach two women, Amy and Brandi, and you are interested in Amy, you may be telling them both a story, and, while focusing slightly more of your attention on Brandi, suddenly tease Amy. Without pausing to let a conversation about this develop (and derail your original conversation) you smoothly continue with what you were talking about before, leaving Amy feeling a little bit more insecure around you and wanting your approval, but without putting Amy on the spot and forcing her to say something negative back to you - which would be unhelpful. Brandi, meanwhile, who is tired of standing around while men try to seduce her more attractive friend, will approve of you more for not being like everyone else.
Just like opening, with attraction it is just as important to know when to leave it. Again, the answer is "as soon as you can." A sneak preview of qualification is that you get the woman to hit on you - to win you over. Every once in a while, test to see if she's ready to do this. Ask her "so, what's your story?" or something similar and see if she starts trying to tell you good things about herself. If she does, you're in qualification.
There is a better way to track your progress through attraction than just simply seeing if she is ready to move into qualification. You should look for, and be aware of, indicators of interest (IOIs). These are things that women do when they become interested in a man. Here's an incomplete list to start with:
Once you have a couple IOIs, you are definitely ready to try to move to qualification.
Another important element of attraction is timing. You can't attract and be dismissive of her forever. After a while, she might conclude that you are simply never going to be interested in her (in which case, a continued interaction would only make her feel bad about herself, unnecessarily lowering her self esteem) or that you lack the self-confidence to be open to meeting new people. Attraction should only take a few minutes - and only in extreme cases go to 20-25 minutes. After 25 minutes, if you don't have any signs of interest, you likely never will.
Also, don't confuse interest/attraction with victory. Getting someone interested is very easy. Getting someone to act on this interest is much harder. Don't be satisfied with small wins.
|Get Her to Like You - Qualification < Prev||Next > Attracting Women - Get the Girl!|
Get the shocking free report
Top 10 Mistakes Men Make With Women