In this issue we're going to talk about how to get her number and get the girl...
You think you know everything a man could reasonably know about women and dating and then something like THIS comes along…
“This” of course is the Love Systems Super Conference, which just ended. You’ll be hearing about the 2010 conference for a long time…some of the new stuff around escalation, body language, humor, framing, inner game, and strippers and hired guns was just incredible.
You’ll start to see this stuff come out over the next few months so we can share it with everyone. But for now, let’s get straight to some dating tips you can use tonight:
These dating tips in bite-sized chunks have gotten really popular. To get a daily fix, add me on twitter: @LS_Savoy
You cannot keep an exceptionally beautiful woman interested in you for very long unless you have a coherent, convincing identity. This identity has to be interesting and attractive to her, but also compatible with who you really are. (Source)
Don’t leave voicemails unless you’ve had a few dates already. If she doesn’t answer and you need to leave a message, send a text/SMS. There’s nothing fun or flirty about returning a voicemail -- voicemails are for business, bills, and guys who don’t “get it.” (Source)
Whenever possible, start the date at your place. Don’t hang around, just make it where you meet. If she has to drive over, then you know she’s coming home with you at the end of the night. At the very least to get her car. So no awkward questions about a “drive back with me for a nightcap/see my etchings/etc.” at the end of a date. (credit: DYD)
Threesomes are much easier than most guys think. With an open-minded woman, it’s all in the framing. Try “I want to share another woman with you” instead of “I want you to share me.” (Source)
For more on frames and frame control: www.lovesystems.com/audio/vol-5-frame-control-subcommunications-savoy-sinn
Your haircut says a lot about you. Are you boring? Conservative? Fashionable? Too obsessed with your looks? Your hair needs to match both your identity and your face and body type. Some guys obsess over going to the gym (muscles she’ll never see unless she’s already attracted) and ignore their hair (a big part of her first impression of you). (Source)
On Body Language:
Slow, controlled movements. Scurrying around, fidgeting, and being in a hurry are not sexy. Confident and deliberate movements are. As body language expert Cajun put it, “move like you would move if you were under water.” (Source)
On Jealousy: Attractive women will always have other men interested in them. Many attractive women love to flirt. If she’s not your girlfriend yet and you let her make you jealous, you’re going nowhere with her. You’ve just told her you’re not used to attractive women and that she has more options than you do. That might be attractive in theory to her, but not in practice. (Source)
Remember – for a great source of daily tips like these, follow me on Twitter & Facebook or follow my blog
You spend an hour getting ready to go out. Maybe two, counting travel time. Maybe you review your attraction checklist before you leave the house. You probably approach a few different women before you find one you really like. You’re about another hour into talking to her when you ask for her phone number….
Don’t screw this part up. You’ve already invested a few hours into your night – and this woman could be your future long-term girlfriend or whatever… or you could screw it all up in about 30 seconds.
Remember these ten rules:
- The phone number by itself is useless. What’s important is that she wakes up tomorrow wanting you to call. The phone number just gives you a way to do that. Your goal is to make an emotional and physical connection. A phone number is not a goal. Usually if you are making a great connection, she will offer you her number without you even asking for it.
- Make sure she has your phone number in her phone when you get hers. Not because she’s going to call you (she probably won’t, no matter how much she likes you). But so that when you call or text, she knows who it is. The “oh, hi, who is this?” conversation is a momentum killer, and you know from the Magic Bullets Handbook how important emotional momentum is.
- If you ask for her phone number, don’t act like you’re applying for a job or a raise in your allowance. She is not “rewarding” or “granting” you her phone number… think of it like any logistical detail when two people are making plans. Ask for her phone number in the same way you’d ask your friend what time the movie is.
- Because of this, discuss at least vague plans before getting her phone number. Getting her number so you can “call her sometime” is for teenagers. Get her number so you can let her know about that concert you were talking about going to together.
- Don’t leave the conversation right after getting her phone number. Why would she want to go to the trouble of seeing you again if you’re too awkward to see her right now? Wait for an emotional high note (leave her wanting more) and leave with a logistical excuse (“I’m ignoring my friends; I should get back to them”)
- Or even, don’t leave at all, or only temporarily. There’s no rule that says that once you get her phone you can’t go for the “same-night lay.” [If you’re new… same night lays don’t happen by just hanging around her and her group… if you’re new, don’t mess it up with a woman you might be interested in by staying TOO long after getting her number]
- When you get back to your friends, shut the heck up. Don’t talk about her – your friends will look. You can spoil the best pickup in the world in a split second if she sees your friends cheering you on for getting her number.
- Don’t keep bumping into each other after the initial phone number. It can get really awkward.
- On the other hand, don’t worry if she sees you flirting with other women, as long as A) you’re not getting blown out and B) it’s not the only thing you’re doing. She’ll probably flirt with other men too – don’t look, don’t compete, don’t worry about it.
- Don’t call or text her to check if it’s a real number. When guys do this to women I know, even from a different or blocked phone number, somehow they always know.
This is of course only scratching the surface. For the complete guide to getting phone numbers, calling vs. text, hundreds of great text messages and conversations, and so on, check out The Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game. Some of the chapters you can download right away at no charge, so there’s no reason not to head over there right now:
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