Q. Hi Savoy, I hope you remember me from last year's PUA Super Conference. My name's Tim and we talked after the Saturday session about my divorce and lifestyle and getting back out there.
You'll be really happy to hear that I've done about 90% of what you said! I sold my old house, moved downtown, made a clean break with my ex-wife (except for the check I have to write her every month... ), and started using some of your Social Circle Mastery stuff to rebuild my social life.
Now there's one thing I wanted to get your opinion on: I feel like I'm meeting and connecting with a lot more women now than before, but most of the time I'm not even thinking of techniques or strategies. I just "feel" what to do next. I have met and dated some great women, but I'm wondering if I'm missing opportunities by not actively focusing on all the material I learned. What should I do?
P.N., Davis, CA
[this question was originally sent on The Love Systems Lounge and has been condensed for this Love Systems' insider and used with permission]
We tricked you.
You thought you were getting a set of techniques that you could use to get women. Just like if we taught you how to fly an airplane or do calculus.
What you actually got was a new skill. All those drills you did in the practice rooms, all the approaches you did with instructors watching, all the missions and challenges we gave you, were for that reason.
When you practice something enough, practice it the right way, practice it with experts guiding you, it definitely can feel natural, like you "feel" your way through a pickup. It's just like driving a car - you've learned and practiced it enough that you don't need to consciously think about it anymore.
Q. Savoy! My friends and I are big supporters of what you and Love Systems do. I've been following your blog and just started reading the Braddock and Mr. M's book on how to flirt by text, but I have a problem and I need your help.
I went on a date with "Jenny" and it went AMAZING. We talked about everything, stuff that I don't think I've shared with anyone before. We talked and opened up like I've never done before, and we were still there when the restaurant was closing. We must have been there for 4 hours at least. But when I drove her home and tried to kiss her goodnight in my car, she just turned her cheek. I saw her in class on Wednesday and she was a little distant not like usual. I've used some of the texts from the phone and text game book, and she writes back, but the energy seems gone.
What do I do?
Confused and Frustrated
Hi Confused (and Frustrated),
It looks like you made a ton of mistakes. That's NOT a bad thing. If you're going on dates with women you like AND you're making all of these mistakes, just think of how great your life is going to be when you get these fixed.
We don't have time to cover every issue, so let me list some of the big ones and I'll give you links to articles or videos so you can learn more:
1. It sounds like your first date was four hours at a restaurant. That's a terrible first date. You want to hit multiple venues instead of planting yourself at one big one. This makes the two of you feel that you've known each other longer.
2. It sounds like you made the first move in the car at the end of the date. That's a classic failure - you built an Emotional connection, you got the Logistics right, but you failed in the third leg of the Triad - Physical Escalation. You never want to suddenly go for the kiss (or more). It should be a consistent building - touching, holding hands, arm around her, etc., so that the kiss is natural. I linked below to the Triad Model dating guide - it's free and very, very important:
3. The first date is not usually the place for you to open up and tell woman secrets you've never told anyone else. Some comfort-building is important, but this sounds too intense. You also talked about YOU opening up but not as much about HER. Learning how to be mysterious or having intrigue goes a long way to keeping her interested in you.
Hope this helps! Oh, and be sure to check out "Kill Beatrice" - a classic piece of Love Systems dating advice literature that will help you with the "Jenny" situation.
Nick Hoss: 3 Secrets of Day Game...
If you haven't heard day game's advantages, you've really missed out.
Day game is the easiest way to meet beautiful women.
It's simple: see girl, walk up to girl, talk to girl.
Get a number and you're set up for a date that night.
Of course, the dozens of guys who sit in on my mini seminars know that girls are more approachable during the day, don't have cock-blocking friends with them or other douchebags around fighting for their attention.
I hear it all the time. Nothing new.
However, I've uncovered more huge advantages over the four years I've been approaching women when the sun's up. Here are just three:
1. Just be yourself - you don't need to use crazy magic tricks or routines to get girls interested in you with day game. On my day game workshops, students love how I help take stories from their REAL LIFE and turn them into masterpieces that attract women. (I should know how - I have a degree in creative non-fiction writing.)
2. Don't worry about touching - if touching is a problem for you, don't worry. You don't need to touch in day game. In fact, too much touching can hurt you. That's why I love to give live demos to show students the proper amount so they don't blow themselves out.
3. You can go out alone - it feels shitty going out to bars alone. I've been there. Fortunately, you can just go about your daily business and talk to the girls you meet with day game. This advantage is so key for older guys who don't want to date party girls and don't have the time to mess around with flakes. (Did you know half my clients are 35+?)
I'm a day game instructor, voted #1 by students at last year's Super Conference. I teach day game around the world over 150 days per year. I'm an expert and here's proof: a pua infield video of my student in field getting a number from a girl he just met.
If you want to know where you can learn more about day game and how to succeed with the women you meet, check out my blog. There are tons of FREE articles there for you to learn from too!